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Cut a long story short. Ds1 11 days od born 8lb 13. 3rd degree tear. Ds2. 2days od born 7lb 11. given option of cs or vb for ds3 due next month. It took time with both but did recover no issues downstairs as such. But back troubles and poo issues sorry tmi but I've never been to get them checked out. Anyway I had decided on vb until I recently went for a growth scan. I'm. 33 Weeks now and at 31 weeks scan showed baby to be 5lb and a massive head above 95th centile! Both mw and sonographer were like wow that is a huge head! Roughly 32cm. Already. Now I'm Bricking it as I really really don't xlnt to tear bad again. I know both ways carry risks and I may not tear and the growth scan could be out but still really don't know what to do.
I had a very bad tear with Ds1, because of the possible future continence issues both ways with tears I decided to go for an elcs with Ds2. Out of the two elcs was much more comfortable at the time and recovery.
I had a 3rd degree tear with DD. The doctor said I should have an elective episiotomy for a future birth so maybe that's another option. But in your case with the bottom problems, I think I would go for the cs. It would be horrible if that got worse. Can you speak to your midwife to go through all the pros and cons?
I'd expect your midwife to be able to go through the pros and cons but in the end I would trust your instincts as you can never know how both alternatives would have played out.
I say that as someone who is at 25 weeks and dithering between vbac and elcs which I have been offered due to trauma following DS birth five years ago. So I completely understand what you are going through even though my question is whether I can choose what I assume is more risky (ie an operation) because of fear alone? But I'm gong to try to start discussing it with my midwife.