Experiences of 3rd degree tear

[MayimBialik]

Hi all,

I have birth three weeks ago and sustained a 3rd degree tear which was stitched up straight after delivery in theatre under a spinal. I was sent home with various drugs - pain killers, antibiotics and lactulose and fybogel to soften my stools.

After an initial few days of walking like John Wayne and feeling like my internal organs were going to drop out of me I started to feel a lot better (due to the painkillers I suspect.)

I was incredibly worried about being left with no quality of life due to incontinence of bladder or bowel after googling third degree tears. So far I've not wee'd or pooed myself (thank goodness!) but when I need to poo I have little warning and need to get to the toilet within a few minutes. I'm hoping this is due to the lactulose and fybogel I'm still taking. Also when I start to wee I can't stop mid flow - but is this normal after birth regardless of tearing?

I'm trying to eat a high fibre diet to ensure I don't get backed up and I take daily lavender baths. In the last week or so I've started to feel a bit more sore - is that because I'm no longer on painkillers?

Basically I just want to hear other people's experiences of this.

If I've had no incontinence problems so far does that mean I'm unlikely to get any?
Is the sudden rush to do a poo because of the lactulose/fybogel? Did you find that went once you had finished those?
What does physio involve? I've been told I can have this.
Am I likely to need a c-section next time?
Will I ever enjoy sex again???
Once you finished the stool softeners did you carry on eating a high fibre diet? Was it agony to do a normal poo? (Am dreading this!)

I know everyone's experiences are different so would love to hear how it was for you. I feel this has marred my birth a little and, although I've had no major problems as yet, I keep expecting to...

[CrazyChristmasLady]

I had the same thing. I never had incontinence but I had very little warning. It did take up to a year to go away. I made sure I did my pelvic floor exercises, although not as regularly as I should have, but then who does.

I had a check after 8 months, although it was suppose to be sooner. They checked it and it had healed well. I went on to have another DC, I had the option of a section rather than just them recommending it. I didn't want it but DD was breech anyway so I ended up with a section. Far nicer than the forceps and tear with DS.

Nearly 5 years later and probably the only recurring issue is the anal fissures that I seem to get regularly and piles but that is probably nothing to do with the tear.

[CrazyChristmasLady]

Oh and I only used the fybrogel whilst I was in hospital. No problems going without it, I think because you need to fairly quickly, it isn't difficult to actually go at all.

[MayimBialik]

Thanks for your reply crazychristmaslady - all sounds reasonably positive!

[SinisterSal]

My experience was similar to CrazyChristmasLadys, feck all warning but never an accident, (no 2's ahem) and now, over a year on have a much more managable warning system.
It will never look the same again, but then we've seen eye to eye anyway so that bothers me not all, sex is great again. To be truthful it took a good few months for that urge to come back. But I feel the same and DH claims there's no detectable difference.
It's horrible at the time but it passes, in a few months you'll all be right again.*

*Disclaimer - most probably, but everyones different etc etc

[Caroline2103]

Hi, Congratulations! I had my DS 8weeks ago and after a normal vaginal birth with just gas and air I too ended up in theater with a spinal having suffered grade 4 tearing. I was on the same concoction as you and I too have little warning when needing a poo. Being able to.stop weeing mid flow will improve, took me about 4weeks. I think with the trauma of giving birth and then obvs the numbing of the area it just takes a while for us to gain control. Once my medicine finished it wasn't painful as such but I would be fibbing if i said I felt normal. However, the feelings I had...tingling, swollen and occasionally itchy were just signs of healing and stopped after about 6weeks. Unfortunately I did not keep up with.a high fibre diet and ended up getting constipated which resulted with piles so keep doing what your doing and you should be fine.
As for having sex, it feels normal, if not slightly better (for me anyway) and my DH said that it felt no different to him and even looks pretty much the same! Hope this helps

[Caroline2103]

P.S. I have my check up at the hospital next week and I have to do a "movement" diary for 3days prior. This is so they can rule out any "issues" regarding going the loo. Apparently it is also at this appointment that they will discuss with me my options for my next birth should I be blessed enough with the opportunity. At my 8weeks post natal my GP told me I will probably be offered a section but this does not mean I have to have it.

[Footface]

I had a 3c 7 months ago, it does get better. I'm still having physio and intent to until they kick me off. It really has made a difference to the amount of time I can hold off using the loo. Never had any accidents but like everyone else I didn't get much warning.

After 6 months you should be offered a bum scan to check healing and tightenings.

Sex is fine, but waited a long time after

[Footface]

But on an emotional level I found the whole experience really duffucult to deal with

[ErikNorseman]

Lactulose etc will be the cause of the urgency. I found I pissed myself while coughing for a good couple of years after the birth, but I suspect that was pelvic floor weakness rather than due to the tear. I got a horrible anal fissure which hung about for about 3 months which made me quite miserable, and TBH I'm still prone to them. I assume it's the scar tissue/weakness from the tear that gets abrased very easily. No feacal incontinence though, so that's nice!

[ErikNorseman]

Oh just read the end of your post -
sex is fine, great in fact. Everything works fine (more or less)
I'm sure you don't need a C section next time.

[soandsosmum]

Hi

I had a third degree after dd1. I found physio really helpful. (Eg she told me not to do pelvic floors for 6 weeks, opp to what mws said)

I saw her for about 6 months when she signed me off. 3 months later I was pregnant with dd2, born at home on Sunday in the pool with a small 2nd degree sewn up at home. Healing well.

[HopeCalvary]

If u don't feel right after a year, go back for checks. i had my gp refere me. i had an ultasound scan up me botty and i had to have another op which helped. had a c-section for second child. in my experince weeing is very odd in the first weeks after birth, but gets better.