I had no urge to push with no. 1 and had a similar experience to you (though not back to back): 2 hours of purple pushing and lasting emotional trauma.
I am now about to have DC2. Doula has told me that it's not unusual for things to stop after transition and the best thing to do is to sit and wait until you feel comfortable again and things pick up. She has given me numerous examples of when this has happened with her clients.
My midwives have also put the blame on my being under too much stress and pressure (long story) and said that with better handling and more gentle treatment then things would almost certainly have been fine and I would have had the urge to push. They also were not impressed at my having been made to lie on my back.
The more they stress you out, the harder the whole thing is going to be; it really doesn't sound so me like you were treated that well last time. If you don't feel safe, the pitocin isn't gonna do its thing.
Both my DCs were back to back. DS turned during labour and nearly strangled himself on the cord and was ventouse delivery. DDs delivery was a piece of piss tbh compared to DS (she is my youngest of 2). I wasn't in the pool, but managed to get so I was kneeling on the bed, facing/hanging over the back, she delivered back to back. No stitches, only morphine and G&A. She was 8lb 13oz and about 53cm I think. I think if you can bear to be facing away iyswim, back to back can be done. Good luck
Did the pelvic tilts yesterday and I have to say my back and hips feel better! He was 2/5 engaged so maybe he's disengaged now. Oh well, I'd rather give him another shot at getting in the right position!
Anyway, have you tried to get the baby to turn? Spending a lot of time leaning forward/on all fours is meant to help - makes a kind of hammock of your belly so the baby is encouraged to lie in the best position or something.
I'm 37+5 today with baby number 4. My first 2 were pretty straight forward births and popped out within 10mins of pushing, no problems.
Number 3 however decided to to lie on my back. I'd heard this was going to be more difficult but being number 3 I thought it wouldn't be too bad. How wrong was I?!!
I wanted another water birth as I had with number 2 which I found was a fantastic birth but unfortunately, they told me they did not have enough midwifes on. I hated the room I was given and laboured at home for as long as I could hoping it would change. She gave me a couple of painkillers which by 6-7cm doesn't touch the sides!
Anyway, got to hospital, she put the monitor belt thing on and walked out to catch up on some paperwork. I had the gas n air by this stage.
Not long after I started to feel shakey and knew this was transition stage. Called the midwife and said I want to do this on all fours but I couldn't move by this point!! I was 10cm but had no urge to push. My contractions slowed down to 5mins. I was no longer allowed to use the gas n air and had to purple push a back to back on my back with no pain relief for 2hrs (I had been in active labour for 25hrs at this point)
The midwife told me it was because its my 3rd baby I have no urge to push but I'm not so sure this is true. I think she just wanted me to get it over so she can go home! I got told off for not pushing hard enough and guilt tripped me that the babys going to go in distress. As instructed, she told me to push like I was having a poo. So I did. I actually had a poo!!! Lol anyway, eventually he was born with the old suction cap and perfectly healthy.
Now I've been told number 4 is back to back and planning a home birth in the pool. Has anyone else had a back to back in a pool and did it go well?
Has anyone else had no urge to push after 2 babies or could it be a "rest and be thankful" stage and let nature do its thing which if I had been given the time, it would of lead to the urge to push? Is there some policy where they will not let u carry on at 10cm for x amount of time without pushing?