Am tying myself in knots over this so would appreciate any wisdom. Currently 31 weeks pregnant with DC2. DS is 18 months old and was born by EMCS after a failed induction (pessaries, waters broken & drip). He was back to back (I had thought so but they all said no..) & I never got more than 6cm dilated. Having been induced on the Thurday morning, the CS happened on the Saturday morning (after being very unwell with high temp in between). DS was a difficult section and I had a lot of blood loss and the surgeon came and apologised to me for what was an unusually large scar. He was 9lb.
I always felt the dates I was given with DS were way out (too early) & that he wasn't ready to leave. This time they seem bang on and I am keen to try for a VBAC. However, friends and family keep telling me am crazy to even consider it as my difficulties with DS and my slight frame mean am not cut out for childbirth. It's not that I particularly want to experience a VB - more that I would rather avoid a lengthy CS recovery when I have a baby and a toddler. But then my 30 week scan showed a bigger than average baby (4lb or so) & am now worried am being stupid and selfish and will end up trying for a VBAC only to end up with an EMCS when an ELCS would be simpler and recovery easier.
I would love any advice. I am very narrow hipped/framed despite being quite tall, which is what everyone keeps referencing but is that an old wives tale? Sorry for waffling. I just feel so confused. And if am honest, the memories of DS traumatic labour are starting to creep in and am getting a bit frightened too (I was given a debrief by my consultant at her insistence and an apology).