Completely unsure of options in delivery, not for the fainthearted

(33 Posts)

Almost 10 weeks. Already been physically sick several times at the thought of returning to the same delivery suite where DC1 was almost killed (and left disabled) by labour mismanagement, there are no other hospitals within an hours drive.

Saw MW today, she classed me as high risk and told me I could not go post dates (40 weeks maximum), that an ELCS or induction were my only options, she freely admitted that induction when the womans body isn't 'ripe' often leads to a cascade of intervention. I started to do some research on CS and although not afraid of pain I want to hold my baby as soon as it is born, to do what I never did with DC1, not to be told I will have my baby taken away cleaned weighed and wrapped up in a cloth and handed to DH.

I think I'm asking the impossible and I am fucking terrified I do not know what to do, I believe in birthing options and freedom of choice, my pg with DC1 was great, just at the last minute someone made a bad call. What if my babies need longer to cook, what potential damage am I doing by evicting them early? Yes I should have thought all this through before I fell pg again but I had no idea my emotions were running so high, right now all I want to do is protect my child and in my eyes that means keeping him or her as far away as possible from intervention.

redwellybluewelly Wed 28-Nov-12 19:14:27

I have looked into an IM and we simply cannot afford it.

I have however found a lovely doula who tells me one of the consultants at the hospital we have to use has in fact been open to the idea of more natural c-section, she doesn't however do post natal visits so now I need to speak to another doula to see if she can help us.

I'm still very unsure if we have done the right thing by conceiving another child, but once work are told and we have found a supportive consultant then maybe eerily will relax.

ILikeToMoveItMoveIt Tue 27-Nov-12 21:39:14

I'm sorry you've had such a horrible time <understatement> I think you are incredibly brave going on this journey again.

To me, it sounds like you need to talk to someone who can tell you all of your options with all of the pro's and con's. Not 'we will do xyz' and 'you won't be allowed to do xyz'. Never mind the fact that most of the things you 'aren't allowed to do' are total bullshit.

I had an IM for ds2 & 3, and it was some of the best money I have ever spent. The first time I met the lady who was later hired as my IM, I wept all over her and felt like I had a friend and someone on my side.

GalaxyDisaster Tue 27-Nov-12 21:23:19

Previous induction and/or instrumental delivery aren't in themselves counter indications for water birth. It depends why you were induced though.

redwellybluewelly Tue 27-Nov-12 19:23:27

I'm now 12 weeks and struggling. I don't want to be pregnant and I am not enjoying the pregnancy, not happy about it, not excited. Actively disengaged from the whole process, and spent much of today shopping for clothes that hide my expanding waistline.

I've attempted to get to see my mw but I have my scan and high risk meeting next week and so will beg for some support then.

cheesesavory Wed 14-Nov-12 13:50:02

If you go for the ELCS option, then a further away hospital is an option I would have thought? Is it worth researching other hospitals to see if any of them offer “natural” cs?

stinkinseamonkey Wed 14-Nov-12 11:39:34

Another there is a hardship fund that you can use if you need a doula but can't afford one

lia66 Tue 13-Nov-12 22:43:24

cereal where abouts in the country are you? I am a doula, I can help you source a doula and an IM

Stillbirth rates and deaths/injuries in childbirth haven't changed in 30 odd years so I beg to differ that managed is the way to go.

I have little faith in the 'managed' option as it almost killed my child and left them with a lifelong medical issue. I'm not sure I find your post entirely helpful.

Karoleann Tue 13-Nov-12 22:17:03

Two of my three have been induced at post 40 weeks, I cook for longer, but my placenta doesn't last that long! (had an abruption with DC1). No probs with induction, but DC1 was in babycare and i was in HCU after abruption.
My risk it.
Book your ELC
At each appointment state you want to hold your baby afterwards.
When you go in for delievery state it again.
We have managed pregnancies as so many women and babies died years ago.

Does anyone know if you can have a water birth after an induction?

I will investigate doulas/independent midwives although I suspect that money will play a part in that decision. I was looking onto the idea of a doula before and did post on a few sites but very few people got back to me. I don't have the option of another hospital but I will be proactive in discussing and searching out information about induction, I did hypnobirthing and yoga daily in my last pg so I do intend to try that again.

Thank you for support and for the pm's

NAR4 Tue 13-Nov-12 11:49:29

Is it possible to stay with a friend or relative at the end of your pregnancy, who lives near a differrent hospital that you would feel happier with?

You could try talking to PALS about your first birth and make sure a plan is put in place early on that would help put your mind at rest.

I hope things improve during your pregnancy that help to relax you about the birth. X

crunchingautumnleaves Tue 13-Nov-12 11:36:08

Unfortunately a natural c-section isn't widely available, so mw was probably right that it's like a conveyor belt at that hospital. But, you're only at 10weeks, which means lots of time to talk to consultant obstetrician, get research & persuade them to do one OR find another hospital where an obstetrician would be willing to do this. Also, check out Invisible Midwives group on Facebook. Post a question and hopefully you'll get lots of useful info. Kemi may be able to suggest a doula or independent midwife in your area who can advise or support you, according to your needs.

stinkinseamonkey Mon 12-Nov-12 23:09:05

you can also use hypnobirthing with induction which can reduce the likelyhood of a cascade of interventions

steppemum Mon 12-Nov-12 23:06:55

OP I was induced for all of mine

ds 2 weeks late long labour that wouldn't progress, lot sof intervention
but
dd1 induced 2 weeks early (I cook babies too long, so for her this was probably 3-4 weeks early) Needed 2 lots of pessaries to get going, then proceeded as natural labour, quick, strightforward and no inervention. not even pain relief

dd2 induced at 10 days over, pessary no good, no labour in sight. MW broke my waters dd2 born 45 minutes later. Again, once started no intervention.

I guess what I am saying is that induction itself doesn't mean intervention, nor does being induced early before you are cooked. I think it is what sort of induction you are getting.
For me, (now I know my body and am never going to need this knowledge again!!) for me, if the pessary/water type of induction didn't work, so that I would need the drip etc, that is when I would want to re-think, and maybe go for an ELCS or something in your situation.

You need someone in the room who will be vocal on your behalf. If your dh can't do that, can you find a friend or a doula who will?

piprabbit Mon 12-Nov-12 22:43:42

Have you got an appointment with a consultant to discuss your situation?

It might also be worthwhile contacting your local Supervisor of Midwives to talk through the options with her.

stinkinseamonkey Mon 12-Nov-12 22:41:44

I second the suggestion of seeing an independant MW, you can hire them just for a second opinion/run though your options without actually hiring them for the whole thing

Skiffen Mon 12-Nov-12 22:41:02

Try to contact a Supervisor of Midwives at your hospital and ask to discuss all of thi. They should help you.

stinkinseamonkey Mon 12-Nov-12 22:40:34

you can hold the baby straight away with a CS www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5RIcaK98Yg&feature=youtu.be
you don't have to book an ELCS for 39 weeks, mine is booked for 41. You can have a semi-emergency CS if you want if you go into labour before that.

I had a dramatic emergency CS last time and I held the baby before DH, yes the baby did need to go away for about 60 seconds first, CS babies don't have the fluid squished out so sometimes need a quick suction

HTH

I tried to talk to the MW (who was really lovely) about natural CS and she said it was like a conveyor belt in out hospital and they would just open me up, get baby out, show me their face then take them to be washed and dried and checked then wrapped and given to DH.

I don't want that ^

crunchingautumnleaves Mon 12-Nov-12 22:29:55

I'm not sure here of all the ins and outs, but if you do consider an elective c-section, especially past a certain date, you could try to get an obstetrician who would consider doing a 'natural'/'skin-to-skin' c-section.

ohmeohmy Mon 12-Nov-12 22:18:20

If you think c section would be good for you then look into natural c section... Tries to preserve some of those important bonding moments and keep mum and baby's best interests paramount

Bue I am classed as high risk to to complications in previous labour, my pg was fine but they will want to for extra tests this time to ensure placenta is functioning.

gobacktosleep thank you, I didn't see why I couldn't have skin to skin after CS, why baby had to be all cleaned up, I want to be the first person he or she hears.

I'll reply properly to posts tomorrow.

So sorry to hear about your previous birth sad

They cannot make you do anything. They can advise you but not force you. Why did the MW say you had to be induced at 40weeks? There are some reasons why I would have considered being induced early, but also some where I would have gone for expectant management. Do some research into the risks, arm yourself with information.

Have you considered someone like a doula or IM? It might help you to have someone who you completely trust and can be forceful with medical staff for you, rather than you or DH having to do it at a stressful time. That's not to say that you will have to be forceful, but it could help you to feel more in control and secure. I think you can hire trainee doula's, or get money towards it if money is an issue.

You could always come up with a plan that you feel comfortable with, like natural birth if you go into labour before a certain date, then a CS after that date. You can also come up with things to put in the birthplan like the not washing and discuss it with the consultant - I spoke to my consultant about various things that were contra official policy and got him to write it in my notes that he authorised them.

There's no reason why a baby born after a planned section at term couldn't have skin to skin with you straight away other than convenience for staff. They can observe baby with you and can always ask to move baby away if it seemed to need help/checking. If you go in with "I want X, I have considered risks Y and Z and am happy for W for happen if nec" then they tend to pay attention.

Sending you lots of positive thoughts and unmumsnetty (((hugs)))

Bue Mon 12-Nov-12 21:41:14

OK, why are you classed as high risk? Why have these been given to you as your only options?

wheresmespecs Mon 12-Nov-12 21:41:05

Sorry anothercereal, I misread your post - you did say you had actual been sick several times.

I am glad you are being taken seriously, being referred to a mh team and have a sympathetic gp.

I hope you are able to make a decision you are happy with. Btw, I am sure people here will advise you you can hb against medical advice, although this may not be what you want - you will also,find people,like me' who had a planned cs (not emcs) and had very good experiences.

You have a lot to think about, plenty of time to think about it, and I do think anything you can do to reduce your anxiety levels will (a) make you feel less panicked and unhappy and (b) help you make a good decision.

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