Maintain privacy with a swim skirt at water birth

(106 Posts)
Thinkmummy Tue 02-Oct-12 14:08:01

Just wanted to pass on my findings to other mums to be wanting a waterbirth. Now I probably won't care about covering up in the middle of labour, but just in case I wanted something to wear in the birthing pool. I'm going with my maternity tanking top and this swim skirt I found on sports direct

www.sportsdirect.com/ocean-pacific-swim-skirt-ladies-350028

. It has no crotch so ideal for the job and a bargain at £5 they do cheaper ones for £1.99 if you're not fussed about colour. The waistband in stretchy so have just gone a size up from what I normally am. Hth x

QTPie Fri 08-Feb-13 16:16:10

Yes, I do agree (hoping that my previous post wasn't taken in a harsh way - it wasn't meant in that way): people should do whatever makes then feel better about impending labour (and try to be flexible in their approach - since things can change dramatically).

I also want to clarify that when I said that I "lost my dignity", probably "I lost my inhibitions" was more correct: nothing in my birth (ELCS) was "undignified" in any way, but by the end of it I really didn't care who saw or felt what (if that makes sense). A woman giving birth should always be treated with dignity: if they aren't, then they should submit a very strong complaint.

Nobody would ever laugh at or make fun of anyone who had been sexually abused.

QT

rainrainandmorerain Fri 08-Feb-13 21:04:50

I appreciate what you are saying QT, but just wanted to pick up on what Something2say said -

I was sexually abused too, and it has struck me how much (without it being intentional, AT ALL) what is said by some women on this thread is similar to what my abuser said to me.

You're not going to make a fuss, are you? Big girls don't make a fuss. You're a woman, not a girl. You haven't got anything special. It doesn't matter what happens - you're not going to care if someone has a look, are you? Being touched down there is no big deal. What's happening to you doesn't matter. You shouldn't care. Big girls don't care, only silly little girls. There's nothing special about you, we've seen it all before.

And so on.

Sorry, but I want to say this on the offchance that any mws or anyone involved in caring for women reads it. For those of us with a particular background, the idea of forced exposure and public nakedness, of painful genital examination and injury, along with this assumption that we won't (or SHOULDN'T) care has a very different resonance.

For those of you proud of your lack of inhibition etc - okay, I am happy for you. Some of us don't get much of a chance to be that way. It doesn't mean we are silly little prudes. It might just be the best we can do.

QTPie Fri 08-Feb-13 21:55:37

I would hope that no medical professionals would talk to a woman like that (whether in labour or not)! That would not be acceptable. Ant patient should be grated with respect and care.

However - with the appropriate respectful treatment - there are probably points in childbirth that a woman needs to have some trust in the professionals around her.

I would hope that anyone who suffered abuse would seek help, especially before childbirth: to help re-build their self-esteem and ease the birth and the transition into motherhood (which can be rough at the best of times). That is a huge burden to carry sad

Jayne266 Fri 08-Feb-13 22:15:01

I was like you thinkmummy I took bigger nighties etc to covet me up and was nervous of doing skin to skin as there was people around. But then it happened I was naked with my legs apart for a hour (had to be stitched) and had 2/3 different people checking my wound or holding my boobs to help me breast feed. But it's horrible thought until it happens so get the skirt just don't spend too much as other mners have said you won't need it.

rainrainandmorerain Fri 08-Feb-13 22:41:24

It can be a huge burden QT - given how under reported but common sexual abuse is, in all honesty, a lot of women will reach pregnancy and birth without having sought or been given any sort of help.

Easy to say we should. Same way everyone with a problem should seek help when appropriate. But sometimes we don't, and I'd be careful about putting even more burden of responsibility (blame?) onto survivors of sexual abuse, tbh. Although I don't think for a minute that's what you meant.

fwiw, I had a planned c section for tokophobia, some of which must have been related to my abuse. And I had sought help/had counselling for it (abusive background) earlier. It certainly helped, a lot - but without sounding negative, it doesn't fix/solve everything.

My c section was conducted with the utmost respect for my privacy, dignity and control. It was pretty much as good as I could wish for. Not a solution for everyone, obvs, but it was for me.

QTPie Fri 08-Feb-13 23:03:04

I hope that as many people both seek help with such a burden and find the strength to report any problems with medical professionals (although I really hope that they do not experience any sad ). I appreciate that the latter is particularly hard to do - as it is being forced to deal with more abuse. None of this abuse should happen - terrible.

Birth and becoming a mum is a huge mental shift at the best of times...

Glad that you found a reasonable way forward, rainrainandmorerain.

QT

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