Can you request a c-section?(35 Posts)
Im 27+4 with my first and i do NOT want a natural birth.
I asked my midwife if i could have one, her reply was you can have a natural birth so i thought okay.
Fast foward to now, at 16 weeks my stomach muscles tore at the front<waves hello to pain> I still suffer from it now its getting worse as im getting bigger. I had an awful water infection it came on due to stress(dr told me). It killed to even touch my tummy and i thought i was in labour it was that bad. Worse pain EVER, dialled 999 everything.
I cant handle pain, i have 2 tattoos and tongue piercing. Which did not hurt, but i am a woss when it comes to stomach pains.
I dont like the thought of it all, i mean the whole birthing process, it makes me very paranoid that i wont be able to do it and something will happen during labour. With my tore muscles i cant even think of what it would be like in labour, my braxton hicks send me into tears because of it(i dont get them often).
I dont even know if i can kick up a fuss, because i dont want to be rude, its effecting me as i worry most days.
you may not get a c-section but i believe the key to getting what you want when it comes to consultants and midwives is to be calm, considered and VERY well informed about the process that you do want but also the process that you don't want. i think they are unlikely to give you an ELCS on the grounds that you are afraid of the pain and will present you with many reasons why you should at least try for a VB.
People will have differing opinions about ELCS, you couldn't pay me enough to have another c section but if it is genuinely what you want then i agree with others that you will have to fight hard for it, take someone with you to the next appointment, know your stuff in terms of risks and benefits and keep pushing those angles.
either way good luck,i promise the baby is worth it at the end.
Given what you've said here are a few things to consider:
1) The pain is the main issue here, and not being able to cope is what is giving you the anxiety. Has pain relief been discussed with you at length? Have possibilities other than a CS been proposed to you (perhaps something like a early epidural might be an acceptable possibility as an alternative)? I know this isn't what you want but it needs to be part of the process and you need to be being given some options here rather than just being dismissed and left to get on with it.
If this hasn't been done it just proves that the midwives think you are easy to fob off and aren't taking you seriously and your need to fight your corner. I think this is your biggest issue and the one you need to tackle most, especially if you get a lot of hostility to the idea of a CS. Show that you are willing to at least consider other options if you are given them and if you are given them be able to discuss if and why they might not be an acceptable solution to you.
2) If your Mum thinks you should get a CS and is supportive of this, enlist her to back you up in your case. She could be an important advocate and voice to say you fully understand what you are asking and to stand up for you and say you are being fobbed off because of your age and they need to do more to support you regardless of the outcome of your request.
3) Write things down and be prepared for your next appointment. If you feel dismissed because of your age, put it on paper so it can be discussed. It doesn't have to be formal, but if you put it into writing you demonstrate you've given it some time and thought. It makes it more likely that they will take you seriously.
The best way to show you are informed and want to do the best thing, is not to just accept what you are told but be able to ask questions. So again writing down stuff before you go, will help you do that.
4) You said "Id be very annoyed if i didnt, unless the dr can state a good enough reason which i think will benefit me, i wont have one. E.g If the dr said if you have the c-section you are unlikey to have kids again, i would not have one."
Given this is one of your concerns, that might persuade you to have a VB and the fact that you would not necessarily be happy with one child (or perhaps even two) in the long term, I think this is something you need to think about.
You should read up on the risks associated with an ELCS so you can state your case to anyone who challenges you on this particular point. The one you want to look at most is the difference between a VB and a CS for the possibility of a hysterectomy due to post-partum haemorrhage; the NICE guidance states you are statistically more likely to have a complication which leads to this with a planned ELCS than a planned VB. Its is a small risk, but one they listed as being statistically significant and different between a VB and ELCS. Given what you have said to make a properly informed choice on this, you need to assess whether this would be a risk you are willing to take and find acceptable to you.
Also bare in mind that the risks with childbirth are very heavily age weighted. A woman over 35 is much more likely to have a complicated VB or EMCS than you if you are in good health. The risks of an ELCS because its scheduled surgery are not quite as extreme when you get older. This distortion means that statistics can be a little misleading if they are averaged (like the NICE guidelines are and this their big failing).Theoretically this means it could make a planned VB look more risky than it actually is and could make an ELCS look less risky than it actually is in your particular case. Which is why you do need to talk this through properly with a doctor to understand the risks based on your individual circumstances and be able to ask the right questions given your biggest concerns, worries and indeed anything that might make you change your mind and go through with a VB.
Hmmthinkingaboutit makes a lot of sense.
I asked for (and got) an ELCS twice. 1st time was difficult as had a lot of fobbing off. Ideally you need to get to see the consultant.
When I asked for mine I made sure I was armed with the facts/ pros and cons/ statistical risks. These were all in the NICE guidelines. I studied it as if I was having an exam. I wrote a letter to the consultant to give when I saw them. I think this helped formalise it and made it harder to fob off.
As for the OP's themselves they went very well and the pain was managable and tapered off by the 1st week. My baby is 2 weeks old tommorow and I feel back to normal, obviously not lifting/ doing anything v strenuous!
One thing to consider also is that different consultants will have different views. If you can chat to other mothers, they may have had a range of consultants between them. In my area for example I knew there were two consultants who are v pro natural birth from talking to family and friends. There was another one who offered my friend a choice of vbac or elcs in the 1st appt, so I chose to see him and the process was a lot easier.
The pain was one thing I never mentioned, whenever someone asked why I wanted an ELCS. I was quite vague (genuinely is a mixture of fears) as I knew they could address the issue of pain. For me, I think the fear was 'feeling out of control' and 'on show' and permanent damage to my nether regions/ serious tearing etc.
I had started to write my list already, i will give to my midwife.
At my 20w scan, he weight 1lb already, at 24w he had no room left, at 25w when i thought i was in prem labour, he said hes weighs 2lb 12oz, He must weight about 3lb now and im only 28w.
I have a fear of him getting stuck and not be able to push him out then causing him stress and end something awful happening.
I have my bloods and anti d tomorrow im going to ask for appointment at 29w. They wont brush me off again, it stresses me out!
I had an ELCS for my first (no medical reason) on NH before the new guidelines so it is possible.
You need to get an appointment with a consultant ASAP and if your midwife wont refer you ring and book yourself one. The consultant is the only person who can give the OK(soignore your stupid midwife).
Read as much as you can pros/cons and be prepared to fight your corner - take DP/DH if you feel you can't manage (my DH was great) nd don't be afraid of tuning on the waterworks and doing the whole "I wish I'd never got pregnant" histronics
If you really think it is your preferred choice though you need to act FAST - (I only got my fist agreed with 2 weeks to go so very stressful)
I spoke to my MW today and she said she's going to refure me to the consultant, which i am very pleased about.
1st step it to get it but another to get a c-section. She said hes likely to opt for natural birth.
I would cry if i didnt get a c-section, i will say to the consultant about the needle fear, its when they take my bloods they never find a good enough vain, which stresses me out to say the least. I am panicing even more now, i dont have my anti-d nor a flu jab!
xmasevebundle - just so you know, and I say this not to discourage you but to be realistic -
If you have a needle fear or phobia, you do need to know there are needles involved with C sections. Apart from the one they use for your epidural or spinal (though you don't have to see that one, it goes in your back!), you will have a canula in your hand, so they can put a drip in, plus any other meds that need to go intravenously. I wish I could remember how long mine was in for - maybe 12 hours, or less.
I also had daily injections of Clexane, a blood thinner, for 5 days after my cs - a community mw came out and did it.
None of this was a problem for me, I'm fine with needles - but if you go and see a consultant and mention fear of needles, this is more likely to line you up for the VB route than the CS.
re the Clexane, some people have the midwives administer it but i think others have had to do it themselves.
you'll also probably have to have a catheter in which can result in a urinery tract infection (it didn't with me and to be honest not having to worry about peeing for 24 hours was about the only good thing about having a c section in my case...that and the baby of course!).i realise that is completely different from a needle but i was shocked and freaked out when they told me about in the hospital.
like wheresmespecs i'm not saying that to frighten you further but if you don't know this stuff already it's really important that you do your research, firstly to make a truly informed decision and secondly you have to know your stuff to stand your ground with a consultant.
Its not needles as i said i have tattoos and my tongue pierced its them proding me and getting it 'wrong'.
I dont mind needles, as long as i know they will be able to do it i will let them.
One MW tried to take blood 7 seperate times, i asked her could i come another day she said no im getting your blood, she didnt get it!
All the times i have had my blood taken, quite a few times only 1 nurse can take it at my local doctors.
The veins on my hand are far more easier than my inner arm.
I just feel like crying! Its awful. I wish i could just snap my fingers and he will be out with no pain or needles!!
Join the discussion
Please login first.