New Life on Mars - Labour Wards of '73

[Bellbird]

I'm 41 weeks and Mum and MIL are again giving me advice based on their labour experiences in the 70's . They think it's soft wanting DH at the birth (he wants to be there - as he was with dd1!). They also say that they had everything done for their babies by the ward staff. I'd much rather have a modern hospital, where both parents are educated and mentored. Instead of going back to a 'Life on Mars' style Labour Ward where parents (especially Dads) are not-to-be-trusted. What do you reckon?

[Clayhead]

Great thread title.

I was born in '73 and my mum tells it from a different angle...her tales are more of the fights she had to get them to leave her alone with her baby!

[fisil]

my mum said that giving birth was a great equaliser (she did it in 1972 & 1974) - in that every mum was treated as if they were stupid. Also that mums had to fit in round the hospital, and like it. Things like having morning clinic for antenatal appointments - so just sitting there all morning waiting. My Dad told me about the waiting room for Dads. I can't imagine that.

I've got a feeling there's also a story about them refusing to let him into the hospital while I was being born. He dropped her at the door expecting her to still be working her way through reception after he'd parked (it was the middle of the night after all so he knew he wouldn't be long). But as soon as she walked in the door they whisked her off to the delivery room. So as I popped out he was at reception trying to convince them that his wife was inside and he wanted to come in.

[gingernut]

My Dad was sent home while my Mum had my sister in hospital - she was induced due to pre-eclampsia and was in labour overnight. They called him in the morning to tell him to come in to see his wife and baby. When Mum had me she went to a maternity hospital which must have been very progressive for the time because Dad was allowed to stay. That was in 1968.

Interestingly though, she was expected to have my sister at home which was the norm then (1966) and only ended up in hospital because of the complications.

Both scenarios would have terrified me!

She also tells me about routine enemas and being shaved, yuk! Glad things have changed even if they still aren't ideal.

Good luck with the birth Bellbird.

[flutterbee]

My Mum gave birth in the 70's, 80's and the 90's and has told me that she can't believe the change in hospitals.

When she had my 3 older bro's my Dad wasn't aloud in for the birth in 78 when I was born they had just started letting them in but with all 4 of us they wanted to take the babies away from the mum at night (so she could get some rest) but she refused to allow them to.

When she had my younger brother and sister in the 80's she said they were made to feel like Dad had to be there otherwise there was something wrong with them and was unable to take a 5 min break from either of the babies without a nurse coming and finding her (even in the shower)

Then when she had the youngest in the 90's she was given pretty much every option she could have thought of never bothered one little bit, she said it was like the world had found a happy medium. Although my Mum was hassled all through the 7th pg because she was in her 40's.

I think in the end what really happened is that the staff realised that when on her 7th child my Mum knew more than any member of staff and I have to say I agree she is a God send for me.

[beartime]

I have to say I did wish the staff would have changed my baby for me, because i had a ventouse delivery with episiotomy and 17hrs labour and could hardly sit let alone get up off the bed, walk to the other side (they put him the same side as the cabinet so I couldn't get out that side) and change him!

[gingernut]

When I say my Dad was allowed to stay I mean he was actually present at my birth BTW (although he stayed very firmly up at the head end apparently ). I'm amazed that this wasn't generally the case in hospitals until at least 10 years later (from what other posters have said)!

[tillykins]

My sisters are a few years older than me, born in 1958 and 1960 and back then, there were specific visiting days for Dads, so my dad didn't see them at all until they were a couple of days old!

[Bellbird]

In awe of your Mum, flutterbee - wow . Her perspective on this subject is really interesting. The nostalgia for 70's labour wards that the older generation of my family has, is bizarre(to me)really. After all this wait, I am so eager to spend time with my new baby. Thanks for well wishes gingernut!

Although, I see beartime's point, that being left to our own devices after an exhausting labour can be pretty gruelling for new parents.

Our generation is not 'soft' .

[mummytosteven]

When my mum had me in 77 she was given medication to dry up her milk

my experience was a bit like beartime - I could have done with a chance for a bit more R & R - lots of stitches and soreness, and had to trail round catheter on a stand for a few days - mind you they did change most of the first day's nappies for me!

[TuttiFrutti]

My father was at all 3 of our births (in the late 60s and early 70s) but that was seen as relatively unusual in those days.

I think hospitals are better in most ways now, but if you've had a tough birth it is hard to be expected to look after your baby from day one. I would have loved the ward staff to take over during the night so I could have got some sleep!

[RedZuleika]

I was induced in the early 70s - for no very good reason that I can ascertain (some vague comment from my mother about a 'faint' heartbeat - not an irregular one, you note, which suggests to me that they should get some better equipment...).

My father didn't want to be there, so he went back to work and my mother laboured alone. Episiotomy, enemas and shaving were the norm. She was coping with the pain perfectly well (having always experienced a great deal of pain with menstruation, she found labour a doddle) but they came along and said she 'had to have' this injection because it would make her 'nice and relaxed'. She declined, but they injected her anyway.

It was, of course, pethidine. When I was born, I was too sleepy to do anything and had quite a low birth weight. (Of course I did, you've just induced me really early, you fools!) I was whisked away to be force fed with a tube up my nose.

Apparently I managed to pull said tube out of my nose and was brought back to her. She tried to breastfeed, but I was too sleepy and she wasn't given any advice. She was then told not to be so silly and I was put on formula.

She was then told that she couldn't be discharged until I had put on x amount of weight. The (cottage) hospital didn't have many patients, though, so she did have a lot of staff running around her, but was turning into Jack Nicholson in 'The Shining' by the time she left...

She gave me one of her childbirth books when I was pregnant and both the information and tone are outrageous (I thought she gave it as a joke, but she was seriously hoping to inform...):

• The writer gives advice to husbands to prepare them for their dainty little wives becoming unrestrained in language and gesture during labour.
  
• Women are advised how to be polite to matron during a contraction.
  
• She recommends a version of what is basically the Atkins diet during pregnancy, so that you don't put on too much weight and find yourself unable to squeeze back into those little frocks that so please your husband.
  
• Most horrifyingly, the writer's version of 'natural childbirth' seems to involve lithotomy stirrups.
  
  I kid you not.

[Highlander]

my mum said that I was taken away to sleep in the nursery and only brought to ther for a bottle feed every 4 hours, and not during the night. She received instruction on the correct way to bathe and change nappies, but didn't have to do it regularly in hospital.

She says it was a huge shock when she got home that I screamed all the time!

In the early 80's, she had my brother at age 39. Becasue of ehr age, they insisted on inducing her on her due date

[doormat]

i was born in late 60's and dad wasnt allowed at birth, dad described it like a carry on film where matrons were the boss.
Mum enjoyed it as they were served full cooked brekfasts every morning., unlike the crappy cornflakes or weetabix slopped out now (not to forget the slice of bread and teeny tub of what you call jam)

Having dd1 in early 80's I had to stay in 5 days as she was first child.
Rool on nearly 20 yrs and having ds3 I was home 4 hrs after birth.

[acnebride]

RedZuleika, I would love to read that book - is it an earlier edition of a current book, or a different volume? any chance of a title or author?

[MamaG]

I was born in 1974 and my Dad was allowed at the birth - but Matron sternly told him that if she said "out" he had to hit the doors running!

When it was time for delivery, they had to use forceps (I always was an awkward bugger) and the Matron hissed "out" to Dad - he went without argument apparently

[RedZuleika]

acnebride: I have currently hidden that book in the far corner of the back bedroom, because it winds me up so much. I believe, however, that it's called 'The New Childbirth' by Ena May Gaskin. The cover shows a woman delivering flat on her back. I think it must have disappeared from print a long time ago - it's so outdated, some of the contents are positively dangerous.

She's also quite big on the 'trained mother'. That is, you will have practised your breathing and so on in advance (whilst not knowing what a contraction is!) so that on the day you are in control and restrained and not embarrassing anyone.

To be fair to the woman, she does address comments to the father-to-be about how to get into the delivery room without being stopped and ejected.

I also have an old Spock from the late 60s. At that time he was recommending giving prunes to newborn babies to overcome the effort that goes into (already fluid) bowel movements. I imagine that this has been removed from the new Spock for the 21st century...

[foxinsocks]

I was born in the early 70s and my dad was not allowed on the labour ward. My cousin was also born around the same time (1970) and his mum (my mum's sister) had eclampsia that wasn't spotted.

She became so ill during the birth (fitting etc.) that she had to be transferred to a neurological hospital. She was eventually discharged 6 months later only to die a few years afterwards from some sort of brain problem (they think this was related to the eclampsia).

So I think the medical advances in things like spotting pre-eclampsia in antenatal care are fantastic.

[anka7]

Scary stories from Soviet Union.
I was born in 1981. My dad wasn't allowed to be at the birth or see me and my mum until 5 days after birth when they went home.

The hospital rules were:
*Women had to stay in hospital for at least 5 days after giving birth.
*They were able to see their babies ONLY on feeding times, rest of the time babies were in one special big 'baby room'.
*If their babies didn't dring all of their milk, women had to express it for the other mothers who din't have enough or didn't have milk at all.
*Women weren't allowed to walk around or sit down, they just had to lay on the bed. And also they weren't allowed to wear any underwear, they just had something down there for blood (sorry if TMI).

The sadest story my mum told me was that in the same time when she was in the hospital one woman gave birth but doctors couldn't save the baby and it died. But this lady had to stay still in hospital for 5 days in the same room where all the new mothers were! And she wasn't allowed to go even to her child's funeral!!!

At that point I told my mum to stop telling those stories, I felt so sick - I just can't believe how unhuman everything was on those days over there.

[mrsdarcy]

A midwife friend told me that when she started training (30 years ago perhaps) women in hospital were shaved every week, regardless of why they were on the obstetric ward or how pregnant they were.

The patients were also given VEs at every check-up and one doctor told her that he found that his patients were more relaxed for the VE if he stroked their clitoris first

[Pruni]

at Ina May Gaskin - are you sure she's the author of that book?

[snafu]

\link{http://www.guardian.co.uk/obituaries/story/0,,1299212,00.html\Do you mean Erna Wright, RZ?}

[Karmamother]

My DP's mum & I were having a chat about BFing when my DD was a few weeks old. She asked if I was feeding her "a minute on each side & keep swapping". WTF?? I nearly choked on my coffee. I know years ago they used to say 10 mins per side but to keep swapping side after one minute?? I can imagine how utterly annoyed my DD would be if I did that.

[PeachyClair]

I was also born 1973.

based on her experience of an Ambulance Man coming into the unit and staring at her whilst she bf, she advised me against BF. pardon?????

BIL was born 74, MIl was hospitalizeed for 4 weeks beforehand and DH (aged 3) was only allowed to wave through a window, and FIl was made to send him to a relative with a farm (??!! Somerset for you) as men couldn't care for small children. Dh had no idea what was going on.

[PeachyClair]

Mrs darcy

don't forget the daily ration of guinness 'for the iron'