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Childbirth

When your dd/ds was born did you..........?

109 replies

pepperpots · 19/01/2006 22:16

Have them delivered straight onto you? ie skin to skin And do you think it affects bonding if not?

OP posts:

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spacedonkey · 19/01/2006 22:18

I did with both dd and ds. I don't know if it helps bonding though! I assumed that unless there was a medical problem this was the norm?

Nbg · 19/01/2006 22:18

It was my plan to but dd needed resuscitation so was whisked away.

She was also looked after by midwifes overnight as I was whacked out on pethadine.

Didn't effect bonding at all.

mummytosteven · 19/01/2006 22:19

Not absolutely straightaway - as DS had to have the cord unwrapped from round his neck, and I had to have loads of stitches. Personally I don't feel it affectd my bonding with DS. But I didn't experience an overwhelming all at once whoosh, I found that my bonding experienced happened more over the first weeks/months.

lucykate · 19/01/2006 22:19

i don't think it effects bonding, what about people who are knocked out for an emergency c-section, they don't have a choice about skin to skin contact.

both mine were delivered straight to me but on to a towel, not skin. i didn't object to skin, but both deliveries were quick and i can't really remember being asked

homemama · 19/01/2006 22:20

I didn't and it still upsets me.
When DS was born they let DH cut the cord then cleaned him up and handed him to DH. I clearly remember saying, 'can I see him now?'
It didn't affect bonding but it did make me cry.

Lilliput · 19/01/2006 22:20

Wow! Are you considering having your baby presented to you all clean and swaddled? Skin to skin is lovely and really important esp if you are planning to breastfeed.

Jasnem · 19/01/2006 22:22

DD1 came straight onto me, but DD2 was born via e c sec (under ga) so obviously not.
Don't think bonding was affected at all.

SPARKLER1 · 19/01/2006 22:22

No my two needed resus too. Cords tight round their necks.

pepperpots · 19/01/2006 22:22

Only wondering as my ds1 wasn't as he wasnt breathing at birth but when he was bought back was placed still warm and nude onto me, my ds2 was delivered onto my chest. My dsister asked for the baby to be cleaned weighed and dressed before nursing the baby, and i found this quite strange (no offense to people who do this btw [smile)

OP posts:

Hattie05 · 19/01/2006 22:22

I didn't, would've liked to, but not phased by the fact that it didn't happen.

The reason is because i gave birth on all fours, and took a while to turn around ( i was seriously high on gas and air and was in shock) The midwife was going turn around so you can hold your baby and i just didn't move! So by the time i did mw had wrapped her up to keep her warm.

Certainly didn't affect mine and dd's bond. She also didn't have a breastfeed till a few hours later as a) i had to wait for surgeon to stitch up etc. and it just didn't occur to me to feed her despite my knowledge and plan to do it straight away and b) the hospital was so short staffed the mw ran off pretty quick to deliver the next one.

mazzystar · 19/01/2006 22:24

had a cs (with spinal) so he went to DH (shirt off and grietin') after they'd cleared his tubes.

no probs with bonding at all!

Jasnem · 19/01/2006 22:24

It was lovely with DD1, and I would choose it again, but wasn't an option with my 2nd, and I definitely bonded, and breastfed for 8 months without a problem.

pepperpots · 19/01/2006 22:24

I also thought it was the norm for baby to be placed straight onto my chest providing that all was well of course but after this discussion with my dsister im a little confused

OP posts:

expatinscotland · 19/01/2006 22:25

yes. i don't think it affects bonding, tho. i mean, there's so much in their lives besides the moment of their birth.

WigWamBam · 19/01/2006 22:26

I wanted her delivered straight onto me but ended up having an emergency c-section and they took her away to check her over and clean her up. They brought her over to dh but my hands had been strapped up in front of me so I couldn't hold her. Dh was then taken away by one of the midwives to dress dd, and I didn't hold her until they had finished stitching me up and I was in the recovery room. Unfortunately I was completely out of it and I can't remember the first time I held her; she apparently fed too, and I can't remember that either.

I didn't have an automatic bond with dd - I would have walked over hot coals to protect her but I didn't love her straight away, that took time. I don't think it's because I didn't hold her for so long - I think I would probably have been the same however things had worked out.

Piffle · 19/01/2006 22:26

I was upright nad had them both handed straight up to me from underneath, both breastfed straight away
I've not any experience of not having it that way so could not comment - but I bonded with both of mine very easily

MrsSpoon · 19/01/2006 22:26

DS1 no as he needed his airways cleared, DS2 yes, can't say if it affected bonding, certainly found bonding with DS2 to be easier but the birth in many ways was easier with DS2, don't think it all hinged on him being delivered onto my stomach.

MrsDoolittle · 19/01/2006 22:29

My best friend was my midwife and remember dd being thrown onto my tummy. I remember being so shocked I just looked at her dumbstruck.
Then my friend kept apologising to me because she had to take her from me to weigh her and do whatever checks. I couldn't really understand it, I just felt relief.

expatinscotland · 19/01/2006 22:35

I had PND, believe me, it affected bonding way more than what happened in the moments after delivery.

treacletart · 19/01/2006 22:40

My DS had a very fast (unplanned) home birth. He was handed to me immediately but the placenta was retained and our midwife needed to mess around with clamps and stuff and after 5 mins or so I remember her saying "right dad shirt off!" DS was handed to DH and they had at least an hour of skin to skin whilst I waited for the placenta and then an ambulance. I was very content with DH doing the cuddling. Dont know if affected our bonding at all but it certainly felt like a sensible thing to do at the time.

fishie · 19/01/2006 22:50

tt that's a lovely thing for your ds and dh, so nice to think of them snuggled up. really wish they/we'd thought of that when i had cs, poor baby was stuffed into clothes while i was sewn up, then plonked into crook of my arm and couldn't move to cuddle him!

lucy5 · 19/01/2006 22:53

dd was delivered onto me but whisked away to be resusitated. It didnt affect bonding but it did make me paranoid about her breathing.

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Pixiefish · 19/01/2006 22:55

I wanted her to be delivered straight to me- it was the only thing on my birth plan- but it just didn't happen like that as she was a ventouse and her heart rate had dropped. She was blue when she was born so they took her out of the room as soon as they'd cut the cord. Didn't get her back for about 1/2 an hour. Bonding was fine- no probs at all

edam · 19/01/2006 23:02

Ds was delivered onto me, so I held him the second he was out. Not sure how long it was before anyone else got a go, tbh, it's a bit of a blur. But it just felt right to have him snuggled up to me. I'm very glad that it happened that way. I had a primal feeling of recognition: 'Oh, it's YOU', as if I was meeting someone I already knew. Dh cuddled him at some point, maybe when I was being stitched up. But dh definitely felt it took him longer to 'bond'. He didn't get that instant connection, it grew.

No idea whether it would have felt different had ds not be delivered on to me, but I think I would have been upset if I hadn't been able to hold ds immediately for anything other than a damn good reason (and possibly even if there was a good reason).

moondog · 19/01/2006 23:07

Think a lot of rot is talked about 'bonding tbh.
Agree with expat's point.
I wanted nothing to do with the little buggers once they'd arrived-wore me out!

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