How long after an episiotomy did sex stop being painful?

(31 Posts)
FeelingFrigid Thu 06-Oct-11 13:46:26

During the delivery of my daughter, who is now 4 months old, I was given an episiotomy. Everything seemed fine at the time. The midwife and ob/gyn who checked it both said it was very neat and healing well etc... and most of the time I'm not even aware of having had it. That is except for when me and my husband try to have sex... sigh.
We've tried twice over the last month and both times it has hurt so that we had to stop. I had no idea that it would hurt like that - is this normal? How long has it taken for other people to find sex ok again? I know it's not a matter of lubrication blush

My husband is a patient man - but I feel that he doesn't really understand (how can he?) how I feel. I think he thinks that if we keep trying it will somehow stretch/ease things in that area (ouch...). Since giving birth my body feels like a bombsite and I find it difficult to allow him to cosy up to me anyway as I don't like being touched (was not a problem before childbirth). Now that I've tried and found having sex so painful this has just made my feelings about my body (and difficulty in recognising it as being me/my own) worse. Sigh.
Please tell me that this'll get better?

BoyMeetsWorld Tue 17-Jul-12 08:40:43

This still blights my relationship 3 years after birth of DS sad episiotomy & rough forceps delivery = ow!!!! Don't get me wrong, it has got slowly better. But can't even be touched umm down there blush without half a tube of KY or the damage is just not worth it. Positioning slightly wrong or over enthusiastic & the episiotomy just completely re-rips. & yep, that's 3 years down the line. I'm terrified about trying for no2 soon - if they don't give me a C Section (which scares me in itself!!!!) My sexlife's going to be a write-off. Would be v interested to hear comments from anyone who's had the earlier mentioned procedure (Fenton's something or other) for scar tissue build up, if this worked & how you persuaded your GP as mine just aren't interested....

GobblersKnob Tue 17-Jul-12 08:43:58

6 months before it was comfortable but tbh 4 and a half years later it still hurts in some positions.

FeelingFrigid Mon 28-Jan-13 17:25:50

I know this thread is ages old, but just wanted to say that what helped me the most was a cream that the Dr suggested with lidocaine in it which is meant to be applied when you have tooth ache! Nearly DIED of embarrassment when the pharmacist asked what I wanted it for (there was a huge queue behind me). Anyway, it made such a difference as it helped me to relax. It didn't take long after getting the cream before I found that I didn't actually need it anymore. I can't remember now when this was exactly, but IIRC it was under a year post childbirth.

Sorry to hear about the problems that other folks have been having - I hope that BoyMeetsWorld and the gentleman who's wife has had problems, have managed to get help.

zionsmith Sat 30-Mar-13 05:19:50

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NicolaSeal Sat 30-Mar-13 19:14:20

I had forceps and an episiotomy, and it took about 10 months for the stingy feeling to go away completely.

atrcts Sun 31-Mar-13 08:55:02

My episiotomy scar didn't heal well so at my routine 6-8 week GP follow-up after giving birth, she noticed that I needed cautery to the wound so it could heal properly. I had wondered why it still stung when I peed!

About a week or so after cauterisation we started having sex again and I was nervous so hubby was patient and gentle, but it was absolutely normal and fine.

I had a friend who had been stitched up too tightly and had to have a scar revision to stitch it together with more room, which made a difference afterwards for her apparently.

What I'm saying is there is bound to be something that can be done if thays what you need, and if enough people report to you that they were lucky enough to be ok with a normal episiotomy scar healing, then it might help give you a clue as to what's going on with you. I would second going to your GP though, ad my midwife regularly checked my episiotomy scat and never noticed it needed cautery to it!

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