what do I do if I believe a teenager is at risk?

(10 Posts)
neveroffduty Fri 06-Jul-12 22:10:57

my 14 year old daughter has told me a friend plans to meet up with a 17 year old boy she has met on a chat room tomorrow. The girls are supposed to be going to a friends house to work on a project and then onto a birthday sleepover. The girl in question is meeting up with the boy for the afternoon - showing him to his hotel - he is apparantly travelling 200 miles to see her. She is then supposed to leave him and go to the sleepover and meet up again with him on sunday.
Questions I ask myself are how much is this boy spending on train fare and hotel? Would he spend this much just to meet up for a couple of hours?
My daughter talks openly to me and I value this. If I call the girls parents they will lock down on her - she has a habbit of chatting to boys on line and meeting up but they are usually local and known by friends of friends, but the friend will know it was my daughter how told on her as she has told all the other girls that the boy is the son of her parents friends. It may all be innocent but what is a 17 year old doing travelling to meet up with a 14 year old. Should I tell the parents, the police or should I try to find out more and go along to check it out. I really could do with advise here. I want to encourage my daughter to be open with me but if this back fires on her will that trust be lost.

UnderwaterBasketWeaving Fri 06-Jul-12 22:13:38

ring her parents - rather a blown friendship and upset girls, than the potential alternative.

We've had warnings at school recently about someone approaching students on facebook.

numbertaker Fri 06-Jul-12 22:14:57

If it were your daughter would you want me to tell you if I knew?

I assume the answer would be yes.

It could be the difference between life and death.

numbertaker Fri 06-Jul-12 22:17:23

Maybe you daughter was telling you as she was worried.

Anyway you are a parent, not a friend and you need to explain to your daughter that you do love and trust her, but some issues are bigger that pissing a friend off, i.e she might not have a friend if the person that girl is meeting is really a 50 year old bloke.

you MUST tell her parents.

what if it isn't a 17 yr old boy at all?

i know you're worried about losing your daughters trust, but i think you need to sit down with your daughter and explain WHY you are doing this, and that you are really glad that she can talk to you about things and you don't wnat that to change, but that sometimes people aren't what they seem and that this is so unsafe that you just have to act.

neveroffduty Fri 06-Jul-12 22:22:37

Thank you for all the comments I know you are right, I wouldn't forgive myself if anything happened and the parents can make the judgement about whether she is allowed to go or not. I'll call them first thing.

numbertaker Fri 06-Jul-12 22:26:58

My DS teen, is not allowed on the FB or any of that stuff, harsh but I don't give a monkeys what he thinks.

Good for you. Follow your gut.

neveroffduty Fri 06-Jul-12 22:45:34

Any advise on how I start to tell them. Should I just say my daughter says this..... or should I ask them first if they know what their daughter is upto tomorrow?

i would just say "i was talking to dd yesterday and she mentioned that X was meeting up with someone... etc etc" and you felt that they ought to know

discobeads Sat 07-Jul-12 21:37:18

how did it go never? Did the parents thank you? Has dd forgiven you?

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