12 year old son screen locking phone

(21 Posts)
busymum44 Wed 07-Mar-12 14:16:33

I did do a bigger post but don't know where its gone and can't re type it all now!

Should I stop my 12 year old son screen locking his phone? I monitor his FB account(don't have one myself) and feel that this is not acceptable at his age. Me and his Dad don't lock our phones and I worry that if there was any bullying going on I would be unaware.

He says he does it so I can't look at his texts(have you seen the way they write?!! Like I'd want to read them!) I just want to know that hes safe, I would never forgive myself if he was being bullied and I didn't know because it was on his phone.

Thanks

diddiehunter Wed 07-Mar-12 17:55:34

Tis a difficult one! I havent got older children,my eldest is 8. Its a kind of a double entrendre on the sense that he has a mobile, that is a private thing, but u expect it to be completely unprivate!
if it was me,id have my own account too,lots of imformation into whst he's up to is on there, without having to demand his passwords.
Have u had the cyber bullying chat with him? I think a little bit of trust is needed in him too.hopefully that way, he can come to u with any issues he has. I agree with being able to access his fb,i reckon any probs would start on there anyway before it became personal and to his fne!

I think if he's travelling to and from school with his phone then it should be locked if only because if it gets stolen the thieves won't get immediate use of it and you've got time to lock it down permanently via your service provider. As an adult I always have a password on my phone for the same reason.

However I do think you should know his passwords. DS1 is 14 and I know his - it's a general rule in this house. We allow a certain amount of leeway on the internet/with phones but the adults have to have access (even though I'd never actually read his messages/facebook etc) The DC have mobiles so that they can contact me and vice versa, the fact that they use them to talk to friends is completely incidental and a nice perk for them but it's definitely not why I pay for them!

nev308 Fri 13-Jul-12 21:48:18

My son locks his phone but tells me his code. He just doesn't want his brother looking at his texts. I don't want to look at his texts anyway to be honest. smile

Tamlev13 Wed 18-Jul-12 11:26:45

Oh no, people trying to have some privacy, he's 12, get over it, his life.

angelarobinson Tue 11-Sep-12 16:32:26

I agree with MrsDmitriTippensKrushnic, As parents who have provided our children with phones in case of an emergency, you should know their passwords. Having their phone's locked will prevent theft and bullies making prank calls or text messages from other children's mobile phones.

I also don't like it when my son uses the credit I buy him on text messages to his friends as it worries me that when he eventually does need to call me, he has no credit! So I've subscribed to '68700' which i heard on the radio - anyone have any other recommendations on this?

I know all Of DDs passwords. She is not old or sensible enough not to get sucked into stuff. I want to know who she talking to and what she is saying just in case someone tries to drag her into something dodgy.
Probably sounds bizarre but we do not have secrets, I work on CAMHS and have known of cases where the parent checking Phine history could have saved a whole lot of heartache a bit further down the line.

korky123 Fri 14-Sep-12 11:24:18

I pay for my 12 year old DD mobile phone contract so when she put a password on her phone I told her to take it off or I will take the phone away. No secrets in our house! She can have her privacy when she is a bit older.

ironhorse Thu 07-Feb-13 17:15:49

hes 12 - he doesnt need privacy on/about his phone useage and should not lock his phone or if he does you need to know what the details are so you can get into it any time you want.

tamlev you are obviously a child posting on here...

Fair enough to have a pin on the phone so that his siblings/mates/anyone who pinches it can't hijack it, but you need to know what the pin is. That is my rule with DS (not that he has a phone yet, but with his netbook and ipod).

zombie thread

colditz Thu 07-Feb-13 17:35:11

Tamlev13, he's not 'people', he's a child and doesn't get privacy with things like mobile phones and email accounts.

colditz Thu 07-Feb-13 17:36:11

And yes, if I'm paying for something I will do as I damn well please with it, and that includes taking it away if it's not respected.

We only gave DSD a phone on the proviso that she never passworded or pin coded anything. If we found she had, it got removed. End of.

As parents it is our job to protect children from the reality out there on the Internet, and I think smart phones have only helped to make it a much more difficult job!!

original post is from nearly a year ago

blankenburg Thu 07-Feb-13 17:43:00

My dd1(12) had a lock on her phone. I told her to take it off. She moaned that it was unfair as it was her phone so i said either take it off or have no phone so she did. Im glad i told her to do it as i checked her phone yesterday and found alot of very inappropiate stuff on it so she now has no phone for the foreseeable future. IMO at 12 they do not need privacy.

Startail Thu 07-Feb-13 17:46:27

My DDs lock their phones and iPods in case they get stolen, but I know their codes.

I actually don't check because I know DD2 would hate it and at present I have no reason to pick a fight when I don't have any reason to think she's doing anything other than chatting to her friends.

DD1 wouldn't be so stupid as to not delete anything she didn't want me to see.
She is the openest, chattiest most trustworthy child you could wish to meet, she is also DH and I's daughter and neither of us ever told our parents things they didn't need to know.

weegiemum Thu 07-Feb-13 17:49:30

If any of my dc (13, 11, 9) lock any device, wheteher it is kindle (dd2), psvita (ds) touchscreen phones (ds and dd1), laptop (dd1) the device is simply removed until wre negotiate a system in which no one in our house has passwords and, I they do (for phones carried to school etc) all our passwords (Inc dh and I) are shared.
Nothing to hide, nothing to worry about. Also in our house, all phones/devices (apart from my iPad as I have a disability w which means I can't hold and use books) are downstairs overnight. I'd switch off the wifi if I thought it was being flounted!
Bed is. Forsleepung, and my young teenage dc get Internet or website access merely on tne understanding that they listen!

Startail Thu 07-Feb-13 17:50:35

Dragon Who cares it's an interesting subject

weegiemum Thu 07-Feb-13 17:50:37

Clearly, my iPad can't spell <fail>

Posters often get annoyed when they realise it is a zombie thread, Startail.

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