Mumsnetters aren't necessarily qualified to help if your child is unwell. If you need professional help, please see our mental health webguide

Severe anxiety and agoraphobia in DS12

(11 Posts)
Fab41 Fri 05-Aug-16 07:25:08

My son is having a really rough time with anxiety just now. Yesterday was his lowest point yet. He was saying that everything is scary and overwhelming and he can't deal with it. He couldn't describe what was causing this, but had horror scenes in his head every time he looked around. Imagining things happening to him, me, his dad, even our dogs. He got to the stage he wouldn't leave the house. DH also has mh issues, mild bipolar, and has just started treatment for this. He insisted that DS came out to walk the dogs which he did, but spent the time looking at the ground, grabbing hold of me and sobbing that everything was too scary.
He brightened up in the evening once we got home, DH distracted him by watching cricket and asking him lots of questions about it.
Today seems OK so far, but who knows.

He has seen a counsellor privately after GP suggested it, but the two sessions so far have not succeeded in getting him to open up. Wondering if we should change counsellor. She is a psychiatrist, not some random person, and does specialise with children.

To top it all, I have fibromyalgia and am struggling to hold everyone together. Feels like a long uphill struggle just now. Sorry, just needed to let it out, not sure what to do next.

PrincessHairyMclary Fri 05-Aug-16 07:31:52

My brother was like this male mental health issues can really flare up with the onset of puberty.
Get in touch with Mind they were amazing. My brother got to a stage from not leaving his room other than to go To the loo to where he was happy to go to their youth group with similarly affected teens and when he was at his worst they sent someone round to build him up with short walks around the neighbourhood. Eventually it was found that his brain didn't make ANY serotonin and was put on medication which helped.
He still has wobbles now and again but much better than he was.

PrincessHairyMclary Fri 05-Aug-16 07:34:30

Get in touch with the school, anxiety and depression are extremely common at Secondary school and they can help if he is a school refuser and also try CAMHS. Get them to send work home for him/ online passwords to resources if he has access to them at school etc

Fab41 Fri 05-Aug-16 07:45:09

Thanks. School and school nurse are aware as he had a couple of major reactions about a teacher asking him to redo some work. He is a model pupil at school, good grades, no behaviour issues, he saves it up for us at home. Luckily it is the summer holidays just now, so no issues over his attendance.
He does have stomach problems, which I am sure are caused by anxiety. He is also very controlling with his food, and this is exacerbated by frequent mouth ulcers (triggered by stress) and teeth coming in and causing pain. Sometimes he will only eat chocolate sandwiches and smooth yoghurt.
I will try Mind, thank you.

Fab41 Fri 05-Aug-16 07:50:31

Mind have nothing for young people in my area, we live quite rurally, and their services seem to be for old people. Will keep looking.

LapinR0se Fri 05-Aug-16 07:54:52

I have anxiety and agoraphobia and it is really difficult. At one point I did not leave my house for 7 weeks. I tried counselling but in a way it made me worse as we just talked about the problems and their causes over and over.
The things that genuinely helped me were:
- Cognitive Behaviour Therapy which does not focus on the causes of anxiety but practical ways to deal with the anxiety when it comes on
- Exercise
- Medication. I am on a low dose of antidepressants which started working after 2 weeks and really really helped
Now I am a full-time working mum with a great social life. Occasionally I get bouts of anxiety but I have tools and techniques to help me cope. I guess what I am saying is your son can absolutely lead a full and happy life, he just needs the right help.
Unmumsnetty hugs to you all

Fab41 Fri 05-Aug-16 08:08:56

Thank you. I already receive medication for anxiety myself, I have not been able to work for over 5 years now due to fibromyalgia, and I know my son has been influenced by me. Also DH has had recurrent depression and is in a bad place just now, also feeling it is his fault DS is developing anxiety disorder.
He is normally a very sporty kid, plays football and cricket, cycles to school, loves all sports. Just now he wants to play xbox to shut out the real world.

LapinR0se Fri 05-Aug-16 08:10:28

This is neither of your faults. The reason for his anxiety and agoraphobia doesn't really matter. It is just there and it doesn't define him.
If you can, see about CBT for him, it really is brilliant for agoraphobia specifically.

Fab41 Fri 05-Aug-16 08:15:15

He is back to see the counsellor next week, she can offer CBT as far as I know. Yesterday I just wanted someone else to help right now, but services don't work like that. Just now he is chatting happily to his friends on xbox, like nothing ever happened.

LapinR0se Fri 05-Aug-16 08:21:29

glad he is feeling better this morning

hannahgibbons01 Thu 01-Dec-16 16:40:54

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now