Sensitive 9 year. Old

[coco1]

I was wondering if this is normal behaviour for a 9 year old or whether I should seek professional help?

My ds is really sensitive, we have always had problems getting him to sleep as he worries about someone coming in the room. He is quite articulate about describing his feelings, last night when husband went out he got really upset and said how much he missed his dad, also that when he is in bed and unless he knows we are both downstairs he worries.

He wonders why some of his friends can watch certain things on tv/YouTube and not be worried when they go to sleep. I have tried reassuring him that everyone is different and that his friends may indeed worry but may not want to say.

I think he is quite immature in lots of ways but emotionally articulate in others , he ha low self esteem and thinks in his words that he is rubbish at things.
I just worry that as he gets older and hormones etc he will be more likely to suffer mental health problems. Does anyone else have experience of this and if so any advice please.? I feel like I'm being. Neurotic

Thanks

[ImperialBlether]

Where does his dad live? Is he still part of your son's life? If he is, could he send him a text every evening?

Could you encourage him to keep a diary? He might be able to write about his worries in there.

[coco1]

Hi there

Thanks for taking the time to reply, my husband and I are together in the same house and that's what baffles me, my husband went out with work colleagues for a meal. Not as if my son has ever experienced divorce or any other separation so I was a bit surprised.

[Iceyard]

I think you are doing exactly the right action in supporting and reassuring your son. Children can mature at very different levels and sometimes can have certain areas they have issues - I wouldn't be too worried, I think with your continued support this should pass. If after a year maybe, is a fair time, you are still concerned I would make an appointment to see your GP. Firstly on your own, just for their advice.

[MidnightVelvetthe4th]

Has your son seen anything that you're unaware of that has involved burglary/violent crime in the home etc ? If he has a tablet or similar could he have seen something on YouTube or in a game that has worried him? Does he have a friend whose parents are divorcing?

My ds has something similar but not quite the same and I'm trying to teach him ways to cope, rather than telling him not to worry, hes being silly etc

I can go into details if you think it will help?

[minilegofigure]

Hi there.
If he is able to do this with you, this book is excellent.

http://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/aw/d/1591473144/ref=mpssa111?qid=1454453165&sr=8-1&pi=SY200_QL40&keywords=what+to+do+when+you+worry+too+much&dpPl=1&dpID=51kmpp5bl5L&ref=plSrch

It's style is CBT but extremely child friendly. A worry box where he can write down worrying thoughts and then discuss them in the day rather than at night might help too.
Also if you worry maybe share 'tricks' you do to help him ie distract yourself, talk to a friend, exercise whatever. It might reassure him to know that lots of people worry and it can be coped with.
You have my sympathies. My ds is a worrier .

[coco1]

Hi there
Thanks for your replies, I will order the books as the reviews look good.x

[Northernsoul58]

Another good book is Elaine Aron's The Highly Sensitive Child. It was like a manual for how to understand my kid.
www.amazon.co.uk/dp/B008CBDOQG/ref=dp-kindle-redirect?_encoding=UTF8&btkr=1&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21