12 year old 'Everyone self harms in my school' please help

[Libby456]

hi everyone, i hope you can help me in this.

Im friend with a mother of 8, one of her DDs is in year 7, shes 12 and shes been self harming. She comes from a loving family and for the three years i have known her she has been a very happy child.
She does however 'go with the social flow' as i put it. She hangs round with a 16 year old boy who self harms.
Her wrists were noticed by her sisters and her mum, when asked why she says everyone in my school does it, its normal.

While im aware its a common issue in schools i am concerned she is doing this simply because people she looks up to does it.

She puts on very concerning photos on instagram that have shown the cuts with little pill and knife emoticons. As i have had experience with self harm i messaged her offering a shoulder any time she needed, which she declined.

I really dont know what to do to help.

friend's DD knows exactly where to cut and they are quite severe so im extreemly worried she will really hurt herself because she thinks she should be doing it at her age.

I know this is not an easy question but any advice or experience willing to share i would really appreciate it.


Thank you.
Libs X

[DottyDooRidesAgain]

Her mum needs to make her an appointment with the GP.

It is the only way forward. Self harm is sometimes used as away of releasing stress/anxiety or coping with depression. It is treatable with professional intervention. This girl needs counselling to find out the cause/reason she self harms.

[Selks]

Yes appointment with GP is needed.

[itsbetterthanabox]

Does her mum know?
A lot of teens do just do this to be cool. Her mum needs to speak to her and find out. I used to say I was depressed etc but really it was to fit in with my goth friends when I did this as a teen. Anything to be cool and dark. Look for real signs of depression and how severe the wounds are. Maybe speak to her bf and let him know he is influencing a child..

[slartybartfast]

my dd did this at same age, i spoke off the record to camhs, who asked if she was feeling helpless or hopeless, had no joy in her life. and she herself saw a counsellor through school who gave her a rubber band to wear when she felt the urge.
however she was as i suspected, doing it to fit in, she admitted to me later. still it is horrible and scarey, speak to her mum or tell school who will speak to mum.

[GreenMouse]

Hi OP you could show this to your friend: www.selfinjurysupport.org.uk/files/docs/Helpful%20responses%202014_2.pdf

Good luck