Suicidal 12 year old - no idea what to do.

[pleasesleepallnight]

I was supposed to be taking my 12yo Sister home this evening. I got all kids into the car but she started wandering around the streets crying, saying she wanted to walk in front of a car and kill herself

I spent half an hour following her around with her begging me to leave her there so she could kill herself.

I eventually got her in the car by promising is take her back to mine first. I phoned my mum to explain. Apparently threatening suicide is now her 'thing' My mum thinks it's all attention seeking. It was terrifying to see and I doubt anyone could put that on for attention. I was going to have her stay overnight then drop her to my brothers tomorrow on the way to work to give her time to sort herself out and to get to the bottom of this. Mum doesn't want her missing school but whenever I suggest taking her home she says things like

'How long does it take to die if you stab yourself?'

'How many paracetamol do you need to take to die?'

Bit of background, mum is a bit toxic, I don't really have a relationship with her anymore. Her partner is horrible to sister, shouts at her for everything. Mum does too really, she has a twin brother who is incredibly well behaved so it kind of makes her pretty normal behaviour look worse.

The children's father passed away when they were young and it was not dealt with at all. She is a very angry little girl and does fly off the handle at the slightest thing. Other family members see it as bad behaviour, I see it as there being something underlying causing it.

I don't know what to do. She said she can't oh home. I have children of my own, a
tiny house that is too small for us already and definitely cannot afford another person in the household.

I've said that as it's so late she can go straight to bed, then she's got school so wont see much of them and I'll go and have a chat with mum tomorrow. Also make an appointment with GP.


I'm not really sure what I'm looking for I'm posting but just don't know what to do. Sorry if it's a bit garbled, incredibly stressed and on app.

[pleasesleepallnight]

Anyone?

[PeriPathetic]

How awful :-( I have no advice, but bumping for you.

[Golddigger]

Where are you both now? At you house?
You do need to tell your mum tonight in my opinion.

[pleasesleepallnight]

Yes at mine. What do you mean Gold? I've told her what's happened so far.

[pleasesleepallnight]

Thank you Peri

[Moxiegirl]

Gp for a Camhs referral is needed I think, been through it all with my dd.

[Heathbaby]

I would take it seriously - it sounds shocking and scary. You could call the Samaritans and ask their advice - there is information on their website directed at parents/ family, and it says you can call them if you're worried about someone. They are on 08457 909090.

[pleasesleepallnight]

Moxie I plan to make a GP appointment tomorrow and I'll take her myself. The difficult thing is that it seems to be her home life making her feel this way. If it was my DD then at least her home would be a safe place and she could come to me etc.

The thought of having this conversation with my mum is mKing me feel ill. I have issues with confrontation due to witnessing DV as a child.

[Dirtypaws]

Bless her! It may well be 'attention seeking' but she's crying out for help. Sorry I have no real advice. The teenage years are tortuous even for stable kids

[ReluctantBeing]

You need to get her to the GP and get a CAMHS referral. In the meantime, speak to a charity called young minds.

[Moxiegirl]

Good luck op hope it goes ok x

[IsobelEliza]

CAMHS referral and maybe let the school help with school learning mentors. Might the doctors also help rule out any possible hormonal imbalance.

[pleasesleepallnight]

I plan on calling GP and explaining to see if they'd be able to make an emergency appointment. Have just explained that the only thing we can do at the moment is to go and see a doctor and that they'd be able to help her feel better. Her reply was 'don't you dare take me to a doctor' and that of she was given medicine she wouldn't take it.

Her defences are back up and she is being aggressive and angry. For example she just said to her brother ' Tell me what you're looking at or I'll stab you before I stab myself'

Her refusal to see a GP is making me think that she may not actually be feeling suicidal but that this may be her way of getting help with the situation at home. Obviously I'll do all I can to help her but we're going through a very stressful time ourselves as a family and I worry about what I can practically do. I know this probably sounds incredibly selfish

[titchy]

There should be a pastoral care person at her school who should be able to help. They should also be aware of what's happening at home too.

[Cazzymaddy]

Sorry to hear about your sister - going through a similar thing with my 11 year old DD at the moment - yes, I agree with the others suggesting a GP and CAMHS referral but please be prepared that this may take weeks (personal experience) and that the young person may not wish to engage (personal experience also). My DD also feels unable to live at home overnight and is staying at MILs at the moment overnight where unfortunately she is not wanted (heartbreaking for me as her mum), though I know this is not applicable to your situation. Is your sister calm when she is at yours and going to school etc - I know others may flame me and I dont know personal circumstances but if she is OK at yours, could you not let her stay - she sounds like she has chosen you to be her safe person. Although obviously, if she is violent and aggressive to your children thats a different matter but it doesnt sound like she's got a lot of options at the moment.

[tiredoldmum]

Kids can be manipulative little shits at that age.

My sister's daughter was doing that around age 13. Apparently her friends said it was a good way to get stuff and get her way.

About the 3rd time the daughter threatened suicide, my sister called the police on her and they came and took her to the hospital and she was admitted on the psych ward. They didn't put up with tantrums and she had to stay 3 days.

Never did it again.

[WTFlike]

You sound just lovely, tiredoldmum.

[Misfitless]

Please how are things going? Did you manage to get your Dsis to the GP?

[HairyPorter]

Is there anywhere else she can stay? It may just be a cry for help and she may just be bluffing, but some suicides are 'bluffs' that went too far and were in intentioned IYKWIM. I hope she has some support. Perhaps if home environment is toxic then some space would do her good.

[PepeLePew]

Yes to GP but meanwhile do give Young Minds a call - 0808 802 5544. I found them really helpful when I had worries about dd. Might be a good first step while you try and get a doctor appt.