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My 9 yr old son suddenly won't sleep in his own bed any more and wants to sleep with me

(15 Posts)
Passionfruitpavlova Mon 11-Feb-13 22:00:32

My son was sick at the beginning of Jan in his bed and then saw what he said was a scary advert on TV a couple of days later to do with burglary. Whether or not the two are connected I don'T know, but he is now scared of sleeping in his own room. He tries every trick in the book to get into my bed and I've tried everything I can think of to get him back into his bed: reward charts, promises of sleepovers, etc. We have talked through the TV ad which I haven't seen, but he is now worried we're going to be burgled. I've reassured him at length that our house is safe and secure, and that he's totally safe with me. Anything else I can do to get him back into his routine? My sleep is suffering, and I don't think it's doing either of us much good. Thanks!

Dromedary Mon 11-Feb-13 22:03:08

Mattress on your floor as a half way point?

expatinscotland Mon 11-Feb-13 22:03:55

I vote for mattress on floor.

Pancakeflipper Mon 11-Feb-13 22:06:47

Can you in the daytime go around your house with him talking about security of your home and even have a trip to the DIY shop to buy/fit anything that you both think will make the home more secure. Songs feels he's helped to make it safer.

Would a night light work? One that can be dimmed really low? For his bedroom to help him feel safer.

Poor you and poor him.

Pancakeflipper Mon 11-Feb-13 22:07:35

So he .... Not songs. Songs won't help.

MariusEarlobe Mon 11-Feb-13 22:10:22

My ten year old has been in with me since we moved 16 months ago, I've tried everything, she just waits until I'm asleep and comes in.

FiercePanda Mon 11-Feb-13 22:10:50

If it's the ad I'm thinking of (the one for the alarm company, ADT maybe?) it gives me the shivers so I can totally understand why your DS might be spooked by it. For what it's worth, I was like your son at his age, spent many a night at my parents' bedroom door crying to sleep in with them. The only thing you can do is reassure him, sadly something I didn't get as a child. I'm now 29 and I'm still a very nervous sleeper - I keep lights on at night and if I'm home alone I'm usually awake until 4am, freaked out by any noise in the house. Lots of reassurance and understanding, maybe sit with him at bedtime and let him talk through his fears, or check on him every so often between his bedtime and yours, at least until he's feeling a little less worried.

I know exactly the advert he means - it is one for adt alarms - it had exactly the same effect on my dc's when they saw it (not late at night, I think it was during Time Team or similar).

The ad basically went on about never feeling safe again, totally bloody emotional blackmail. We too had bedtime avoidance as a result.

It is getting better, and I did tell them/show them what we do to keep the house safe which seemed to help.

Cross posted with FiercePanda.

I am probably too soft, but if they really want a cuddle in the night I don't mind too much. They won't still be wanting to come in when they are 15 after all..

(Mutters even this shall pass under breath)

Passionfruitpavlova Fri 15-Feb-13 20:18:05

Thanks so much to everyone who posted here. Your comments are very reassuring. We have tried many of your suggestions and he's always had a night light, but last night (after lots of talking) he actually slept in his own bed - all night! We've also 'refreshed' his dreamcatcher with magic dust (glitter!) and he feels happier with that now.

Thank you for telling me where the advert came from too. I'll look it up. Am very cross that advertisers can get away with this. Maybe a call to the advertising standards authority will be on the cards...

Will keep you all posted with our progress. Thanks again.

Yay! Glad to hear that he was better last night - here's to lots more nights of unbroken sleep!

ggirl Fri 15-Feb-13 22:03:59

we were burgled in the middle of the night when dd was 6
she came into our room and slept on the floor for yrs after it
i had a roll up under my bed that she just pulled out and got into
we had to be upstairs for her to fall asleep
it was the worst consequence of the burglary and I was so angry with them for creating such fear in her for yrs

agree with other in that indulgence and reassurance is the answer

liveoutloud Wed 13-Mar-13 18:09:10

My sister’s daughter started coming to their bed when she was 8. It did not seem like much at the time so they let her, but it escalated at some point and they started taking her back to her room, she would then wake up again and go to her sister’s room or something. She is almost 12 now and has not stopped. I honestly suggest you do everything in your power to stop this behavior now before it escalates.

mumof4darlings Sat 16-Mar-13 07:41:49

I'm glad that he had a better night, poor boy. I agree with the suggestions of mattress in your room. Think I would even put one in my room made up all cosy so that he could come creep in and get straight in when he felt he needed it. If something had scared me severely I would want to be with someone I felt could keep me safe. Reassurance that he is safe. He will return to his own room when he feels ready. Goodluck.

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