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Anyone with experience of parenting a suicidal/poss psychotic 6 yr old?

(13 Posts)
SorryMyCandyCaneLollipop Fri 07-Dec-12 23:07:50

I am struggling at the moment. I have a 6yoDD and a 4yoDD. My older DD has been low for a while, wanting to kill herself, wanting to die, saying that she is fat/ugly/stupid etc. We were referred to CAMHS, had an appt for January, then I found her on the upstairs window ledge wanting to jump and kill herself because she is "stupid" and "ugly". So we had an emergency appt last Monday.

She has "people in her head" telling her that she is fat, she has "angry fingers that want to hurt people, (help me mummy, make them stop)", she sometimes thinks that I am an impostor (not the real me etc).

The person who saw her at CAMHS thinks that she needs urgent psychotherapy, the GP thinks that she needs a psychiatrist, I have been asked by CAMHS whether I think she would be better off having 1to1 work or work with me as well.

I have an appt with CAMHS on Tuesday, just me, to discuss DD. What do I say/ask? How do I know what's best for her therapeutically? Can psychotherapy work on a six year old?

I am very confused.

Greensleeves Fri 07-Dec-12 23:11:00

I am really not qualified to advise, but just wanted to say I sympathise, it must be terribly frightening for you sad

You are doing the right things, I think. You are doing everything you ca to get help. I think in the meantime all you can do is be there, be calm and loving, try and help her to relax and give her lots of praise and affection.

Does her teacher have a perspective to offer?

So sorry you are going through this x

SorryMyCandyCaneLollipop Fri 07-Dec-12 23:17:24

Thanks Greensleeves. All the advice I have had from professionals is that I am doing the right things, empathy, listening, validating her feelings, non judgmental, not reacting to things etc. It just feels like it's not enough.

School have been good, they have started a book to record positive things in about each day, the class teacher has been telling her that she is lovely and beautiful etc (which made me cry). They have spoken to her close friends about being extra kind to her (that made me cry as well). She is getting loads of praise but its like trying to fill a sieve with water. sad

Greensleeves Fri 07-Dec-12 23:21:51

The teacher sounds lovely. That will help, if you all keep banging the drum, you can change a child's self-concept.

It may seem like a naff idea, but when my son with Aspergers is going through a bad patch and is very anxious and down on himself, we do relaxation exercises, deep breathing, visualisation etc. Especially before bed, and it does seem to bring his stress level down. Might be worth a try.

Whatever the future holds, your daughter has a mum who adores her and is obviously prepared to move heaven and earth to help her. That's got to count for a lot.

cosysocks Fri 07-Dec-12 23:22:27

No advice really, but just wanted to say how hard this must be for you, sounds like you are trying really hard to do the right things.

Selks Fri 07-Dec-12 23:24:59

I'd discuss it again with CAMHS. Have they done / are they in the process of doing an assessment of her mental health? Did they give any feedback to you so far?

At the very least of it I'd speak to them again about how to manage your daughter if she becomes suicidal again - have they given any advice about this?

Therapy can be very helpful for this age group. Often play therapy is used for younger children, or art therapy. It's possible that whatever approach will aim to help your daughter open up about her fears and worries and help her work through them and begin to feel better about herself. Poor love, to be feeling so bad at her tender age. But children of this age can often recover really well from these sort of problems with help and support.

Re what to ask at the appointment - ask whatever you feel you need to. Write your thoughts down on paper before hand if that will help.

This will all be very new and worrying for you, but just take it a step at a time with CAMHS and don't be afraid to ask for help, second opinions or anything that you feel needs to happen. How is school for your DD - does she have any problems there? Any bullying? CAMHS can be very good at dealing with schools and advocating for the child's best interests with the school. Don't hesitate to discuss this side of things with them.

I'm a CAMHS practitioner by the way. Hope that helps and I wish your daughter well. x

Selks Fri 07-Dec-12 23:29:01

P.S she's very unlikely to be properly psychotic at her age. Young children often describe thoughts as 'voices'. I'm not trying to diagnose her or anything, but statistically it is very rare in young children. It's more likely to be a way for her to try to describe her upset or worry.

SorryMyCandyCaneLollipop Fri 07-Dec-12 23:32:28

Thanks everyone. I'm off to bed now for some R&R. I'll be back tomorrow.

Greensleeves Fri 07-Dec-12 23:34:37

Sleep well x

sallymartin Tue 18-Dec-12 19:26:03

Hi I'm so sorry , for you and your little girl, I don't know much abt what you can do , but wanted to share my story with you as you are not alone , my grandson is 6 years old and partially deaf , he has a pretty catastrophic home life at times with his mum and dad splitting up, and constantly rowing ! Now the mother is having some mental
Health probs , including drinking, my grandson consequently has agressive outbursts and has hit his teacher , he has been great for three weeks , now naughty behavior has resumed , including angry faces , hitting and spitting , I'm exhausted , my daughter and I have my grandson most weekends , and he is well loved , but nothing seems to work , so you see your not alone in this , would like to hear from the lady that works at camhs xxx

Selks Tue 18-Dec-12 21:42:13

Sallymartin, did you mean me? Happy to help if I can.

SorryMyCandyCaneLollipop Wed 19-Dec-12 20:56:43

Hi, apparently everything I am doing so far is spot on according to the professionals (good to get some reassurance but I feel a bit deflated that there's not obviously anything I could be doing to make things any calmer, and it's exhausting!!!).

We have been told that she/we will get some support in April and until then, we are on our own sad

sallymartin - have you heard of Deaf CAMHS? They are a national organisation that work with hearing impaired young people, they may be able to offer some advice support.

Selks Thu 20-Dec-12 20:25:25

Sorry to hear that you're having to wait so long for an appointment. CAMHS depts are so overstretched these days sad angry. But even so, if you are worried about your DD in the meantime do not hesitate to call them back. They will give advice and may offer a more urgent appointment if needed. Best wishes.

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