Does anybody have any ideas who I can talk to?

[Squitch]

Hi

Quick history. I live at home with my dd(2) and my mum. Mum was admitted into hospital in October with a urine infection (she had become very confused and lacked mobility - though she had polio as a child so her mobility isn't fantastic anyway). After much ineptitude, which I can't be bothered to go into and 8 weeks in hospital she was discharged to a rehabilitation bed in a local care home, then 2 weeks in another care home for some physio. By this point it was decided that she had dementia.

I was always very adamant that if I was able I would like mum to come home. It's her home and she has been great to allow me and my dd to live with her. Social services offered a care package, which I thought would be more than adequate so she came home.

Problem is that now I'm not coping at all. The care she recieves is shocking. I have tried to speak to social services but I feel that now she is at home with me they don't really want to know. The home care people also arent being very helpful. Mum is so confused and doesnt want me to help her. I just don't really know who to talk to now.

I've heard age concern are quite good, has anybody had any dealings with them?

Any advice would be really greatfully recieved

[kitkatqueen]

Hi squitch, I didn't want to read and run, but I don't have the answers i'm afraid. The home care for the elderly is shocking at times, that I have experienced. In my Nans case she finally ended up in a care home, neither option is ideal. I got quite a long way by arranging a meeting with her social worker and she did come up with some options. Good luck and hang in there!!!

KKQ x

[Eve34]

Keep on at adult services, tell them that if they don't come and sort something out then you will be returning her to the home - ask for a carers assessment for your self. Tell the home care company if they do not improve the service you will contact CSCI inspectors and complain. Check mum's paper work and ensure it is accurate and explain mum's needs and difficulites for the carers.

Keep at them. google carers group in your area, ask adult services if they have a carers social worker. If I think of anything else I will be back.

Don't let this continue, it will be a fight but good care is out there it is hard work though. x

[Squitch]

Thanks both, have spoken to social services again today and we've got a CPN coming tomorrow to rassess. Hopefully if the assessment is done (she's never had one) the care might improve.

Thanks again

[Ripeberry]

Hope you get the care you and your mum deserve. My dad cares for my mum who has Dementia but he does not like anyone else helping.
But he is on his last legs but just is so stubborn!
You also have a young child to think about, you have to look after yourself as well for your DC sake.

[tengreenbottles]

Hang on a minute ,youve got a cpn coming to assess your mum and you say she has never had an assessment ? surely she must have had a mini mental test at the hospital for them to decide she has dementia . You say you are not coping ,can you write down exactely how you are finding it difficult ? what things you need help with ,what times of the day are worse ,is your mum a danger to herself ,does she wander ? The only reason i say this is because of the immense stress you are obvioulsey under ,its better to write it all down so when you do speak to her care manager ,you can give her all the information they need to increase or change the care . What about the care your mum is getting are you not happy with ? Sorry for all the questions Ring help the aged too ,they have volunteers who can offer respite for an hour or two if you need to go out and dont feel its safe for you to leave your mum alone . Good luck and perserve ,keep on at social services ,they too are under immense pressure but they will help if they can .