Someone calm me down please! Dad threatening to discharge himself - has mrsa and c-diff!!!!

[janestillhere]

He has been in hosp. 3 months with liver and kidney failure and twice we were told it was unlikely he'd make it. Told to tell family and friends to come and say bye etc etc. As you can imagine it's been a long haul. Anyway he has turned a corner and has been moved to rehab ward. He is also suffering from mrsa and c diff and is being nursed in a side ward. He says he is going to discharge himself which terrifies me as I am caring for my mum at their home ( I live nearby) They are both alcoholics and mum has chosen to continue drinking and is physically declining again (rollercoaster or what) she has stomach ascites and all the rest, doesn't get out of bed except to get alcohol etc.
The bit than worries me as well as everything else is - I have two young children - one 8 and one 15 months so HOW ON EARTH AM I GOING TO BE ABLE too care for them both now they have disabilities and they need chores round the house doing when when I won't be able to take the kids in the house because of the horrendous infections???
They are not even allowed on the ward to visit him.
Someone give me some perspective here - I am cracking up. Thanks.

[themoon66]

He should be seen by a social worker before discharge. A care plan should be put into place for the pair of them. You shouldn't have to bear all this alone.

[WanderingTrolley]

Have you explained all this to the ward staff? They will need to liaise with social services about the support he needs at home, and even if he claims you will be helping out, the discharge staff should take your point of view into account. I would phone and ask to speak to a nurse who has been looking after your father and tell him/her that on no account will you be able to help care for your father (or mother) upon his discharge. They should alert social services, who should arrange carers/cleaner/meals on wheels etc. You could even put that in writing and ask for it to be attached to his notes.

Failing that, get in touch with social services yourself, and explain the situation.

You're in a dreadful position, I really feel for you. Your parents are not your responsibility. You won't ever stop them drinking and you are not to blame for their actions.

[janestillhere]

Thanks for the messages. I'm not sure the staff and social workers are fully aware of the situation - I need to bring their attention to it it if his discharge seems imminent.
The situation as from today is that we are still waiting for results of tests to enlighten the doctors why he is bleeding per rectum. It may be the c diff, clotting factors as a result of the liver complications or something else. They are thinking of transferring him back to the acute ward (he is on rehab) as his stomach ascites is not improving.
I have been to the shops and bought him some soft sweaters as he is always cold (small comfort!) x

[pedilia]

So sorry you are having to go through this. Good advice from Wandering.

One thing to add, if he is dischagred with a care package that the hospital have provided then it will only be for 6 weeks so make sure social services have a long term plan in place. Neither DC's should be around CDiff so stick to your guns!

[CarGirl]

Perhaps you have to just refuse to care for them anymore and force social services to fulfill the responsbility - much easier said than done I know

[ShinyDysonHereICome]

Surely MRSA is so dangerous they won't let him discharge himself?

[tori32]

janesillhere you are not cracking up, just under so much stress. Definately agree that you need to arrange a multi disciplinary meeting where you can discuss your concerns with everyone involved in his care. This will give you the opportunity to express your views onhim going home and to insist it is not in his best interests. He cannot go with c-diff. MRSA is not quite so bad but c-diff is definately no way.

[tori32]

I agree with wandering that you should tell the nursing staff that you will not be able to look after them on discharge. If they get the impression that you will go in daily then they drag heels with social services. By saying that, you can still visit but there will be support in place before discharge. So you have all this to deal with.

[janestillhere]

Isn't it sad that I was so relieved today when the staff nurse said they may be transferring him back to the original ward
It is good for me to know that at least when he is in the hospital - the kids and the rest of us are distanced from the infection.
Interesting that there is a big notice on his room door that says 'barrier nursing' and that when I questioned it, was asked to put on mask, gloves and apron and other relatives have been going in willy nilly no protection etc and ablivious to it all. Pah! Makes me very frustrated!

[Mouselady]

Sad you're having to cope with this but - wow, I'm not alone.
My Dad (severe gash to head from fall two weeks ago, liver failure, circulation failure, COPD, incontinent, no short tern memory, etc etc) is doing exactly the same.
We are waiting for the psychiatrist to give a capability judgement on two issues:- whether Dad is capable of making his own medical decisions, and whether Dad is capable of making his own housing decisions.
Dad of course keeps ranting about needing to get home to his town house which is on 6 levels and has nearly 40 stairs.
That would be our worst nightmare.