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Caring for elderly relatives? Supercarers can help

Carers

support/advice/anything-help!!!!!

3 replies

kittypants · 02/02/2007 12:00

just been redirected here!im so glad theres a tpoic on this!my mil had a stroke about 2 weeks ago,shes home but unable to do much at all.she has carers going in morning and night but rest of day(and while they are there!)is me,dh swaps at night and stays night unless she needs help on loo(shes got awful diarhoa)and we swap again.ive also got 3 children.2 at school in day,13 month old with me in playpen.lastnight he was poorly so made my bil feel guilty and go in!first 'dayoff' in a week,although have poorly lo instead!
i dont know why im typing this,i suppose i just need support!im so amazed by people who do this all the time,after 1 week im exhausted!sorry long post.

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3littlefrogs · 08/02/2007 19:38

Can you ask whoever authorised the carers to reassess her needs? You need to keep asking and begging, because this will go on for as many years as it takes before you reach breaking point. Sorry to be negative, but i know from bitter experience that:
a) it is a post code lottery what help you can get.
b) you need to spend hours filling in endless complicated forms and being assessed by various people - and in my case, when we couldn't get all the appointments/forms/assessments etc completed in the time frame, it all had to start again.
c) the system is geared to avoid the use of the words "nursing care" at all costs, because then the NHS has to pay and you can't be means tested.

Ask everyone you can think of and keep telling them you cannot cope. Get a letter from her GP. You are entitled to a carer's assessment, but they won't tell you that.

Is there a carer's association or support group in your area? You can get advice and support from them, and they can help you to understand how the system works.

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3littlefrogs · 08/02/2007 19:42

I am sure there is a Stroke support charity - try google. Often the charitable organisations are more forthcoming about what help is available. Good Luck.

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3littlefrogs · 19/02/2007 10:27

How are you coping KP?

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