The New Festive Christmas PUDDLE,

(1000 Posts)
ShakySingsMerryXmasEveryone Thu 13-Dec-12 16:48:50

Here we are, a lovely shiny, new thread just in time for Xmas.

<puts up Xmas tree and decorations>

<hands round mulled wine and puts Christmas songs on the iPod>

Evening all,

Can I have a wallow/rant?

I have had the afternoon/evening from hell with dd1, she has been hard work all her life more so on school holidays so usually I can keep calm and get on with it but today she's decided to keep screaming and kicking/hitting me, when out in the car she kept moving her belt to hang out of her seat and leant forward to pull my hair twice, I understand adjusting to having a baby sisters hard so took her to my mums when ds finished school as she loves it there and her attitude resulted in all 4 big dcs being foul, I'm just exhausted, I can't let her behave like this because she has a sister but I feel so fucking guilty for being on her case, it seems a vicious cycle, she screams, I tell her off she is naughty because she's cross at me and so on... I'm cracking out the reward charts for her and ds, he's a mouthy sod atm but being in FT school he's far easier to handle. Dp has a sodding medical on saturday hours away from ours, the idea of being home alone with all 3 for hours is terrifying.

Shaky Thu 10-Jan-13 21:49:07

Aw State <strokes hair> I don't have any advice, sorry, just some snuggles for you.

Thanks shaky I just feel so frustrated I worked with children her age I should know how to handle her but I just seem to mess it up no matter how carefully I plan how to deal with things.

I adore her, but no one has ever pushed me to tears so often!

Shaky Thu 10-Jan-13 23:13:40

They just push you to the limits though, my ds told me yesterday " I just love daddy NOT you!!!" shock

I've had that from the boy before even though I know if I waved a freddo bar at him I'd be favourite again, it bloody hurts! Dd told me today I am mean and horrible so I calmly told her I don't like being mean and horrible but when her behaviour is horrible it makes me sad and angry, that seemed to go in, tomorrow is another day...

I just brought a years pass to Jimmys farm for all of us on a groupon deal, so once Lilys a bit more predictable we'll have something to do.

Tee2072 Fri 11-Jan-13 07:21:19

Morning. Who has the brew? Another bad night. Stupid brain.

State other than a telling off, what happens if she misbehaves? Does she lose any privileges? Because I know with LT, a telling off goes in one ear and out the other, but 'Since you acted like that you do not get tv/bedtime story/something' stops the act (usually) and seems to prevent that same act in the future. Not that he doesn't then try something new, of course. grin

Taking LT to daycare (preschool closed for training) then doing some shopping then flopping on the sofa for a bit. MrT is in Dublin until very very late tomorrow so I had better sleep well tonight!!!

BonkeyMollocks Fri 11-Jan-13 08:20:08

<makes brew >

State Actions! One warning. 'I don't like it when you do x
can you stop.please or else i am going to take x away' .
She carries on? It happens without a word.

Go totally overboard on praise. 'It makes.mummy so happy when you take your plate in the kitchen. Thankyou' *kiss *cuddle.

Sounds.so simple.but its hard...but if you stick to your guns like superglue then it really does work.

Punishments need to be instant with small.children. No good saying 'when qe go home.....' it needs to happen then so missing out on something because she has to stay in another room or not being allowed sweets nyc etc

Hope your ok and manage to sort it! These bloodybkids know how to push our buttons! hmm

BonkeyMollocks Fri 11-Jan-13 08:21:05

And meant to say sorry or typos and crap typing.

Phone does not want to co.open rate!

BonkeyMollocks Fri 11-Jan-13 08:21:27

hmm

EmpressOfThePuddle Fri 11-Jan-13 09:37:31

Tee, here's your brew. Bacon sandwich?

Bonks, at least your phone isn't repeating the message 65 times.

Not just small children either. DD's consequences don't have to be so instant any more but they still have to be very, very clear.... If you do this, THIS will happen... Instructions have to be the same because if she sees the barest hint of a loophole she'll be through it in seconds hmm.

Tee2072 Fri 11-Jan-13 09:52:46

Oh yes the consequences have to be quick and not backed down on, although I will give LT the chance to win the privilege back by showing exemplary behaviour.

Thanks for the offer Empress but I am now in Waterstone' s cafe with a latte as big as my head and a cinnabun along side. grin

EmpressOfThePuddle Fri 11-Jan-13 14:45:50

<flops down next to Tee>

Oh yes. And if youn back down without good reason they decide you're soft.

Just spent the morning on the till in my charity shop. Would you believe the number of hagglers? Even though they know the money's going to a good cause? shock angry

They get toys/privileges removed for consistently crap behaviour, warning, then naughty step then toy/privilege gone if naughty step doesn't end the issue.
Hand on heart neither child cares, brand new toys confiscated and they carry on, the crappy behaviour escalates until we finally put them to bed, my Mum treated them to dinner out today and got them both a small toy as she got Lily some clothes, this is a huge deal they never get any toys between birthday and christmas and we don't eat out often, they were vile kicking off screaming and messing around as soon as the treats had been handed over as such, I've removed the new toys and they can earn them back. I've sorted the reward charts out again though and were starting them tomorrow which usually gets results, they aren't bad kids. Christmas/no school/being spoilt by relatives and new baby has just been too much for them, and me!

Any tips for shifting baby wind, somehow lily gets awful trapped wind (I assume) and is screaming/going stiff half way through feeds, winding her takes ages and she gets really distressed if I don't feed her to wind her, but she won't feed as she needs to burp. I got some colief today and she's burped several times since I managed to get half the dose into her, she did NOT want to swallow the stuff poor girl, and she's fed nicely and settled on dp since...that in itself is Rare! I've tried baby massage and all the winding techniques I know, but I'm not sure if ill get the colief into her again, she hated it so wondered if any one had a tried and tested technique?

BonkeyMollocks Fri 11-Jan-13 20:18:25

Me thinks you need a cupboard with a lock then State wink .

Dentinox colic relief stuff worked a treat for ds. HV told me to switch to it and it worked a treat.
Ds also used to love being across our knees on his tummy <weirdo> but he burped like a trooper!

and yes Empress I can imagine! There are some cheeky buggers out there!

I do bonkey its called the garage grin poor dp was so excited to have a garage, needless to say it is just full of stuff, mainly toys.

Either colief works or it was co-incidence because she had a much better night, no screeching and she went down at 12 instead of fussing until 1 and she is very content this morning under her gym. <Happy>

What's every one upto this weekend, I'm taking the dcs to my Mums today whilst dps at his medical hoping to go for a wander to the park, considering Jimmys farm tomorrow but its freezing here and I don't want to drag Lily around out in the cold for too long really.

littlemisssunny Sat 12-Jan-13 10:21:03

Morning everyone smile

Sorry I've not been back sooner been making more welsh cakes, and having a sort out in the boys bedrooms I have a challenge with my friend who can get rid of most bin bags! I have sorted my bedroom, the kitchen cupboards and the kids bedrooms so far, and the conservatory I have been putting off as its bursting with toys which need sorting. I am a hoarder so quite pleased I am actually managing to throw stuff.

Might make an apple pie later I think, off back to work tomorrow. I'm a bit nervous about going back as I've been off for 2 weeks sick and am on tablets for vertigo. Bit worried I might fall over in work. Then they asked me to do extra on Monday which is good as I am using the hours I work to take a Sunday off when I am struggling with childcare. I agreed to start at 7am what was I thinking?

giraffesCantGoFirstFooting Sat 12-Jan-13 11:27:53
DreamySleepyNightySnoozySnooze Sat 12-Jan-13 12:52:49

Have fun giraffes. Great news about Colin!

Tee2072 Sat 12-Jan-13 14:33:34

Howdy.

Yawn.

Not much else to say, actually. I hear Les Mis is excellent. I've never seen the play or read the book.

DreamySleepyNightySnoozySnooze Sat 12-Jan-13 22:02:29

Dh took Ds1 to the hairdressers this morning. He came home looking like they'd combed his hair and given him a lolly. angry I had to phone them up and ask if I could take him back in and get some more cut off! I wasn't pleased at having to drag Ds2 out with us as well (everything takes so much longer when I have the pram, nappies and feeds to take into account) but Dh couldn't take him back as we had a load of boxes of stuff he needed to take to the storage unit and it closed at 2pm. So off we went, they sorted Ds's hair so he looks vaguely presentable (he has Harry Potter hair), and when we got back Dh was playing on the PS3, still surrounded by boxes of stuff! angry He did manage to get to the unit by 2pm fortunately, despite eventually going, getting there and realising he had forgotten the key, having to drive back home to get it then go back. hmm He was on the twat bench for a while today, but I've forgiven him because we're both very tired and he has back pain.

I've had a totally shite day, ds and dd1 were feral, even my poor Mum got the treatment usually reserved for me, she was gobsmacked.

After doing the hours sodding drive for his medical dp was told oh sorry its cancelled, we'll send a letter with a new date, he was fuming. So 2hrs driving, pricey parking, and 20mins waiting to be told to go home.

Dds finally decided she will co-operate with the dummy fairy, I know she's way to old to still have one, but anyway she went to bed without it smile

Lilys been screaming since 12.30, managed to get wind up, she settled wanted to feed, more wind and more screaming... None of this is helped by the lack of naps the poor childs had, as ds and dd have been so loud all day she's not slept more than 20mins since 9.30, she looks exhausted.

Well she stopped screaming at 2.40 after I finally convinced her to take some colic drops, dp rocked her for a hour or so while she grumbled as she only likes to sleep on me and then she had a quick feed and went sound asleep on me. Its heartbreaking her crying like that and not being able to do a thing, I am shattered.

Tee2072 Sun 13-Jan-13 12:59:04

Colic is just horrid, State. And just proves the bad design of the human body. I hope today is a bit better and you get some sleep.

Had a bit of a fretful evening myself last night as I read the news to find out Central Station, where husband was due in at 1045p, had been closed for a bit due the rioting. The police were getting the water cannons in place for the night and for the first time ever I was afraid of what's going on. But he managed to get an earlier train and was home by 10 so all was well. This whole thing is just so fucking stupid.

I hope everyone's having a peaceful Sunday.

Oh my goodness tee so glad he got home earlier and all was well.

I risk sounding rather stupid here but I just don't get colic, she's not had drops since 2/3ish and she's burping fine and very content this morning, and its not every night either? And we can stop her screaming, so say she screams for 15mins we can settle her briefly its stop/start. Everything I've read says its relentless with no breaks? She slept pretty much solidly until 12pm so I've had a good rest. I just hate not knowing what to do.

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