Really good article about adults who were bullied as a child

[purplemonkeydishwasher]

i know there are a lot of us out there. this article really hit home with me:
here

[purplemonkeydishwasher]

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[mrsmortenharket]

hello! just going to read it now

[mrsmortenharket]

it brings back so many memories of school that i would rather not have

[psychomum5]

brings back memories for me too.

tis so true what she says about the legacy it leaves us with as adults. I can still walk into a room, and if it goes silent, instantly assume it was because they were talking about me.........even tho, TBVH, that is actually quite arogant of me to assume that I make that much of an impact.

see......paranoid even now!

[TotalChaos]

sorry clicked on the link but don't want to read it, it's painful to remember my schooldays.

[mrsmortenharket]

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[mrsmortenharket]

was crying when i read it to the extent that i have posted link on fb page, telling those who were at my school that was how i felt. i hope they read it and are ashamed of themselves.

[purplemonkeydishwasher]

oh god
i'm sorry. i didn't mean to upset anyone!

[TotalChaos]

no worries, no need to apologise at all. It's the bullies and teachers that let this happen to blame, not someone who highlights the issue.

[whitenoise]

I was both bullied and a bully. Not something i am proud of in anyway at all but i have to say that i apologised to each and every person i was nasty too(name calling) when they let me out of their clan(i was too scared to leave the "group"). The bullying for stopping being a bully was far worse and to this day i can still feel my face hitting the the pavement as they pushed me off the bus in an area i didn't know

[psychomum5]

starlight, yep, I go thru that a) and b) each time too.

not always so easy to do the b) tho sometimes.

whitenoise..... and

[nontoxic]

Will read the rest of that later - no time now. Thank you for posting it.

The 'social aggression' point struck a chord with me - a few years ago I was systemmatically shunned by a 'friend', and was consumed with shock and disbelief as I really hadn't expected to encounter this (again) in adulthood.

But I know there's been lots of threads on the subject, so clearly the queen bee syndrome still exists.

I wish aomeone could explain to me why they still persist in this behaviour as grown women- okay, I'll accept that there may be mitigating circmstances as far as children are concerned.

And I think shunning is just an extreme version of clinging together in cliques, not talking to the mum who's new or looks a bit different- possibly because she's struggling to hold it together without bursting in to tears in the playground.

Must go as I'm welling up now.

[mrsmortenharket]

purplemokey that's ok, it helps a lot to know that you're not the only one, thanks for highlighting the article. some of the pointas have helped me quite a lot, i didn't realise that the reason why i am so hard on myself was because of what happened at school.

thank you pm (((((())))))

[mrsmortenharket]

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[nontoxic]

Bump again

[mrsmortenharket]

bump for tuesday ladies

[mrsmortenharket]

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[Bumperslucious]

Haven't read the article yet, but even the posts here have struck a chord with me. DH just can't understand my paranoia and complete belief that people don't like me and an insane jealousy at being left out by other people. Every now and then I have a complete meltdown, sobbing that people don't like me, I have no friends etc. DH just can't understand it. When I've read the article I might send it to him.

[mrsmortenharket]

i would bumperslucious (((((())))

[gagamama]

That struck a cord with me, too. I was lucky enough to exist within a group of 4 close friends, but the four of us were therefore bullied (so it seemed) by the entire school, from Year 3 onwards. It still hadn't fully dissipated by the time we left in Year 13.

We pretty much existed in a 'bubble' and were always told to ignore the bullies (although nobody ever called it bullying). I think this is the thing that has damaged me above everything else - I now ignore most problems and many people because I don't know how else to deal with them. My school was very anti-bullying and was so proud of their anti-bulling reputation that they refused to ever accept that this is what was happening to us. Although we were all academic high-acheivers, we were made to feel like we were being difficult. That still impacts me, too. Mind games and manipulation from all sides. Horrible.

Sorry if this isn't the right place to discuss this, but I am always very aware of the impact childhood bullying continues to have on me as an adult.

[AnguaVonUberwald]

couldn't read it, brought back too many memories

[mrsmortenharket]

gagamama i used to have the same issues too -tho some still affect me and it happened at my brother's school.

[MeMudmagnet]

This really struck a cord with me too.
I had a miserable time throughout the whole of secondary school and now my 11yr old dd is starting to have problems.
DD starts secondary in sept and she's going to the same school I went to!

When we went to visit the school with her, all the old feelings came back and I couldn't bare the thought of her going there, even though it's a good school.
DH convinced me though, that she's not me and the school is not the same as it was then.

I'm finding it hard to fight the urge to confront the nasty girl dd is having to deal with atm. I'd love the opportunity to give her a piece of my mind...

[candiceb]

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