Im overwhelmed

(15 Posts)
jztjakes82 Thu 28-Jan-16 13:09:40

My son as had ongoing bullying for 3 academic years 2 different schools and im at the end of what i can do

Sallyhasleftthebuilding Thu 28-Jan-16 19:59:35

Ok - how old? What's the issues?

wickedlazy Thu 28-Jan-16 20:01:39

Does he have friends outside school? A club, neighbours, similar age relatives?

jztjakes82 Thu 28-Jan-16 20:27:32

My son is now 13 he as one friend n goes youth club x2 a week the issue is everything

SavoyCabbage Thu 28-Jan-16 20:31:31

That's awful. I can't imagine how difficult it must be.

I think schools find it more and more difficult to keep on top of bullying as it can easily continue after school with phones and social media.

Sallyhasleftthebuilding Thu 28-Jan-16 20:33:36

Ok - what have you done to help? Remember the bully is the issue not your son - the bully has a problem and he's making it your boys.

Have you a copy of the bullying policy/complaints procedure and behaviour policy?

Do you have a relationship with school

Are there any "helpers/councilors" who speak to the kids

Is it physical?

Any paper trail?

jztjakes82 Fri 29-Jan-16 11:23:04

Ive helped by supporting my son im always here for a point of contact for him ive been to meetings endless times the bullying happens in gaps it will be quiet for a while and starts back up again, the relationship with the school is poor as i understand teaching and other things is difficult but so is it for my son n me for him to go school everyday not knowing when or what next.
We have applied for support within school i have paper trails i have the bullying and behaviour policy i havent yet gone down the complaint side of things as i was concitrating on using my energy to sort the situation out for my son.
But its seems i understand bullying wont ever stop and i know its not my sons fault as he is the higher achieving pupil in the school for all reasons as a whole.
Ive got organisations helping as with my mental illness i find things get to me alot but i dont show it to my son as to be strong for him so he can get good grades even though he is prodicted A* grades i dont want this bullying thing to effect him for the future.

Sallyhasleftthebuilding Fri 29-Jan-16 13:20:41

Please find the complaints procedure - it is a list of stuff school should be doing - I.e written plan - action and review dates - meetings etc support offered - incidents noted etc

Then you need to refer to the document - it's worth a read complaint or not!!

I tak it its high school -

Can he move tutor groups?

Does he have any friends?

Can he move schools?

Is there a safe place for lunch time?

Any staff who can talk to him?

Can you involve the police - school should have an officer attached to the school (prevention rather than cure)

RandomMess Fri 29-Jan-16 13:24:29

It's not a satisfactory result tbh but could you home school him?

jztjakes82 Fri 29-Jan-16 13:49:11

Oh i would love nothing more to home school him im kicking myself to think im not able n i dont feel confident to do so as to full fill his education needs as i failed all school work because of my own issues of bullying when i went school.
My parents lets say could not careless.
Which im not that way.
He as moved schools and yes high school.
He as also moved tutor groups.
Only yesterday my son was asked from his head of yr from accusations of the bullies if my son as been mean verbaully obviously he as not, knowing the history from the school and a good student i dont y they would concider it but i get its a duty but it as just put my son in a miserable state ive email the head of year.
I hope i have answered all questions and i appericate all that have taken their time to help me.
P.s the complaint procedure i take it, it will be on the school web site like with the bullying policy sorry to ask n im going to take a look now to see.

RandomMess Fri 29-Jan-16 17:39:58

There will be lots of support from your local Home Ed people if you go that route. He is 13 and bright you can work through the syllabus together - you probably only need to do a handful of subjects. His self confidence is more important than how many GCSEs he gets at 16.

I would seriously consider it in your circumstances.

jztjakes82 Mon 08-Feb-16 13:34:45

Hi my S as disclosed to the support help organisation that he feels he is not getting bullied (with the understanding that my son as possibble aspergers so his understanding of bullying may not be as clear cut as someone that as not got possible aspergers)
Sorry im just again feeling overwhelmed and am i fixated on this im getting the impression im made to feel im making more than what it is????????

Sallyhasleftthebuilding Tue 09-Feb-16 11:26:08

Bullying does make you question your own sanity - tiny incidents that build a bigger picture -

A child in DS class was being bullied - she could see them making fun of him and he thought they were being his friend - he stood up to them to leave him alone - teachers did nothing unless the boy complained -

It's a difficult situation - and bullying affects the whole family not just the child -

Is there a key worker in school? I think you need some support

jztjakes82 Tue 09-Feb-16 14:06:40

Sorry to ask a key worker what is that sorry

Sallyhasleftthebuilding Tue 09-Feb-16 14:42:11

DD has a SEN room where kids can get away - staffed by special needs staff - could be physical mental behavioural type issues that they deal with - during lessons or lunch times -

DD was bullied and she was assigned a very nice lady who co-ordinates any problems - DD is bright and kind and this lady over sees any problems and she can go any time - luckily she hasn't had too but they do a catch up once a term.

Could your school have this? It's quite common

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