Am I being over-sensitive?

[MrsRuffdiamond]

Ds3 (9) came home and casually dropped into the conversation that several children in his class are calling him fat. He isn't fat, imo, but he is tall for his age and 'well-built' or 'stocky', like ds2, who is now over 6' and muscular without an ounce of fat on him. Ds1 was always fairly lean (and now also over 6')!

None of the dc have tended to come back with info about who said what to them and I don't think I can recall ever having to intervene with regard to their relationships at school. I don't think ds3 would have mentioned it at all, if it wasn't bothering him.

I suppose it is because of this, that I am taking more notice, rather than dismissing it as classroom banter. It seems to be an ongoing niggle, and largely the same two children periodically doing the name-calling, usually when they get changed for P.E., I think. Otherwise, he is usually v happy at school, and a sociable little boy, who I don't think is inclined to make personal insults to others, which is why I feel so aggrieved on his behalf!

I don't want to blow this up out of all proportion, but wonder if I should mention it to his teacher?

[Flexiblefriend]

I would mention it to the teacher. You don't have to make a big thing of it, but if the teacher is aware they can hopefully nip it in the bud before it escalates.

[MrsRuffdiamond]

Thanks, Flexible, You've confirmed what I was thinking. He says he tries to ignore it, but I worry in case others in the class catch on (one of the children is at the top of the pecking order in class, IYKWIM), and it becomes a 'thing'.

[DrankSangriaInThePark]

"well built" or "stocky" in parent speak can be translated as "fat" in classmate speak, sadly.

He is clearly not thin, is he? Is he overweight? Honestly?

No excuse for the name calling, and yes, absolutely go and tell the teacher, you are not being over sensitive at all. But please, be honest about his weight as well, because he's not being called fat when he's actually thin, is he?

[MrsRuffdiamond]

Well this is a huge red herring, Drank, but yes, I am being honest. I know that he isn't thin. Neither is he fat. I put 'well-built' and 'stocky' in inverted commas, to indicate that I recognise that they are well known euphemisms, but that's just what he is.

I think he is going to be tall, lean and muscular, like his brothers and dad. They don't carry any excess fat, but neither are they beanpoles, and ds2, in particular, was exactly the same build as ds3 at the same age - well-built, prior to shooting up and becoming very lean. I'm 5'7", dh is 5'11" and his brothers are both over 6'. None of us are fat. so the likelihood is that ds3 is in the same mould.

If I'd said that children were calling him thin in a derogatory way (e.g. beanpole), I wonder whether you would have questioned me as to whether I was honestly feeding him enough?