It breaks my heart to see her so upset

(6 Posts)
twiglet59 Sat 28-Dec-13 21:17:25

It breaks my heart to see my dd who is in year 8 at secondary school. She was happy when she started there seemed to have a good group of friends, but one day a friend of hers she has known since junior school was being bullied by a group of other girls. DD stuck up for her and ever since has been bullied by them. One day she was followed home by them and intimidated and generally seemed very unhappy. At the beginning of the autumn term this year she was in bits about having to go back and was always adamant that I should not say anything to the school as she felt it would make it worse. On her first day back of the autumn term I received a phone call from her whilst I was at work. She had vomited, She had got herself in such a state about going in. I told her I had to talk to the school. We both arranged to go in together and talk to the head of year. She seemed very nice and understanding and said that these girls (a group of 3) were well known to the school for bullying and had one had been involved with the police (It is a good school). She then said that one of them was a nice girl really. Surely nice girls do not bully? Anyway the bullying seems to have lessened but she has does not have any friends. A friend invited her round for a sleepover this evening and then contacted her at 4, to say she couldn’t do it. She was so hurt. Sorry to go on but my dh thinks I get to involved but it hurts me to see her so upset. I have tried to get her interested in after school clubs, but she says they split it the years up, so she would always be with the same group of people.

willowisp Sat 28-Dec-13 21:22:56

Sorry to hear about your dd. I would hate that too & would be doing my best to help her fix it.

You could try & invite the bully girl over or one of the friends, in a keep your enemies closer type way, invite other less threatening girls over AND get your dd joined up with other non-school clubs, so she can make different friends. How about guides or cubs/scouts that kind of thing ?

At the end of the day, you probably won't change the other girls, but you can affect how your dd feels.

everlong Sat 28-Dec-13 21:25:41

That's so sad. Of course you are going to worry about her. It's good that the bullying seems to have lessened but I would keep in contact with school to make sure this is the case.

Could you invite the friend round to your house for a sleepover?

twiglet59 Sat 28-Dec-13 21:29:34

Thank you. Yes that sounds a good idea, but I know she would absolutely hate that and I'm sure they would not come. I am going to keep looking and try and find something out of school that she would like. She does horse riding and dancing, but has not made any other friends there. The trouble is I think an experience like that knocks your confidence. I won't give up but it's frustrating when dd is not interested too.

twiglet59 Sat 28-Dec-13 21:30:00

Sorry meant to say dh not interested. Oops!

twiglet59 Sat 28-Dec-13 21:45:49

I will contact the school again. We have invited friend(s) round for sleepovers and it does happen, but its dd being so alone not having friends back etc so upsetting for me. We have older ds and it was so different with him. He has so many different friends and never had any of these problems.

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