I'm so upset for my son

(12 Posts)
AtticusMcPlatypus Mon 16-Dec-13 20:45:59

I've just had a phone call from a teacher at my son's school asking me if had told us anything about an incident that happened while he was at school today. He hadn't. It turns out that a bigger child but in the same year (year 9) thought it would be a fun idea to pull my son's trousers down in the middle of the playground in front of everyone. My son is a sensitive chap and also incredibly skinny and found this extremely embarrassing and ended up in tears. Another child alerted a teacher who took my son to one side and calmed him down and reassured him that this was not acceptable behaviour by the other boy. This teacher has rung me this evening to explain all this and told me that the other boy is going to be in isolation tomorrow and then he will excluded because of this incident. The school view this as a serious assault in another pupil.

My poor son has now dissolved into tears again which has set me off and I just feel so angry and upset that this has happened. I was bullied myself at school and remember how isolated and worthless it made me feel. I'm glad the school are taking a serious approach to this, but I am worried that once the exclusion is over, this could have repercussions for my son in terms of further bullying.

I'm not really sure why I am writing this but I just felt I needed to share it. I hope that he never has to endure the tormenting i suffered at school and I think perhaps that is why I am so upset on his behalf as seeing him so distressed has brought it all back to me. I'm also a bit worried that he didn't say anything until the school rang to inform us. I've always encouraged both DC to tell us if anything is worrying them.

Anyway, I think that has made me feel a bit better.

Jinglebellsforthebetter Mon 16-Dec-13 20:53:43

brew Poor lad!

A day in isolation is not enough. It is common assault. The perpetrator should be shown the door. I hate that nice kids are subjected to these bullies and nothing is done. hmm

MayimBialik Mon 16-Dec-13 21:07:57

Sounds like the school are dealing with it really well and the child is going to be excluded. It sounds like a stupid, thoughtless action from a silly boy that has obviously, and unsurprisingly, upset your son. Try not to worry about future bullying as the school seem to be taking it all in hand. I would just reassure your son that he must talk to you if he is worried about anything at school. It maybe that he didn't tell you on this occasion because he was embarrassed?

5HundredUsernamesLater Mon 16-Dec-13 21:20:52

Really feel for you, it hurts us so much when our kids are hurting and we can't just kiss it better. At least the school are taking it seriously and will be hopefully keeping a close eye on him. I know that doesn't help much at the moment though and it must be awful to be worrying about him so much when he's away from you. Life and other people can be so cruel. Hugs to you both.

Hassled Mon 16-Dec-13 21:25:34

It does sound like the school are handling it well and you must remember that the whole culture has changed since your days - I know there are some awful exceptions, but on the whole bullying is taken so much more seriously now. While it was never talked about when I was a kid, now the kids do understand how wrong it is. It's out in the open now in a way it just wasn't. Hopefully the exclusion will nip things in the bud.

AtticusMcPlatypus Mon 16-Dec-13 21:26:31

I think thats right Mayimbialik. He was obviously mortified about having his trousers pulled down in full view of everyone as I think anyone would be. I'm going to take him to school in the car tomorrow as I would hate to think that he might get teased on the way to school. He does have an older sister who I'm going to ask to look out for him a bit, although they are in separate areas at lunchtimes. I think the school are dealing with it in an appropriate way and having had a quiet word with my older DD, it would seem that bullying is dealt with consistently and firmly. Thank goodness term finishes on Friday, as I think that DS will potentially only have to see the other boy on that day as he will be isolated tomorrow, excluded on Wednesday and will be having reintegration meetings on Thursday (whatever they might be). Friday is a half day and I am presuming that the school will be keeping a close eye on things for a while afterwards, although I am going to email tomorrow to explain how upset my son was and ask how this will go forward from now.

mumofthemonsters808 Mon 16-Dec-13 21:42:31

I understand your upset and concern I'd feel exactly the same if it were my boy. I'm glad to hear the school are being proactive, perhaps you can speak to the school and relay your concerns about what happens when the boy comes out of exclusion. It probably is an isolated incident but regardless encourage your son to confide in you. Most importantly let him know he is not alone and this is not the first person this has happened to. Although we do not like to see our children cry it is good that he is expressing his frustration. Spoil him rotten he needs to feel loved. The annoying thing is that the other kid is probably oblivious to all the hurt he has caused in the name of having a laugh. I'm sorry this has happened.

AtticusMcPlatypus Mon 16-Dec-13 21:50:41

Defo feel he needs spoiling. Let him open the Crimbo chocolates which I have carefully hidden away so he could have first dibs earlier.

mumofthemonsters808 Mon 16-Dec-13 22:09:31

Atticus- it's amazing the problems chocolate can ease, a bath works wonders for my soul, but for my kid's it's definitely chocolate and because yours are from your forbidden Xmas stash they will taste even better .Enjoy, you deserve it, it's amazing how a bloody phone call can change the whole mood of the day.

5HundredUsernamesLater Wed 18-Dec-13 20:59:12

Hi, just popped back to see how you are both doing. Hope your son was ok at school and you wasn't sat at home worrying to much.

AtticusMcPlatypus Thu 19-Dec-13 19:15:46

Aww, thank you 5Hundred. He is fine - was a bit quiet the next day, but back to normal now. Luckily its a half day tomorrow and then its the holidays. I would imagine the other boy has had a bit of a talking to and his parents would have been informed, so hopefully it was just an isolated incident. The school have been great and have checked on my DS and told him he must tell them if anything happens again.

5HundredUsernamesLater Fri 20-Dec-13 17:13:11

That's great. Pleased he's ok. Have a great christmas. X

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