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Bullying

Effects of 5/6 yo being bullied at school

4 replies

ItIsHowItIs · 01/12/2013 12:24

My now nearly 7 yo was bullied at school last year and had no help from his teacher to change it. He has now moved school and because of aggressive behaviour towards other children and being unsettled during group and class tasks (not when he has to concentrate on tasks on his own) he has been referred to the psych. The psyhc. wants to assess him for Asperger's because he says he doesn't make eye contact with him (or his teacher, but he does make good eye contact with us) and hasn't made friends at school (his teacher says because of aggressive behaviour he puts kids off) although he did have a close friend for some time. He is an ID twin and has an older brother. I am driving myself mad looking up everything I can on the internet about Asperger's and am more and more convinced that his behaviour is the results of the bullying. Can anyone tell me the effects bullying had on their young child at school. I am particularly interested in effects on eye contact and interaction with other kids.

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ICameOnTheJitney · 01/12/2013 22:13

Ah OP this must be so hard for you and DS too. I don't think that a child would lose eye contact unless they were subject to prolonged bullying over some time...my older DD was picked on in reception and year 1 and changed schools at age 7 and bloomed due to much nicer children and a better school in general.

Have you done the Chat Test at all? It's the general test that proffesionals will do as a starter towards diagnosing Aspergers or Autism.

Does your DS have any other points about him which make him seem different in any way? Or is he fine and dandy in other respects? It's important to note that children and adults with any Autism related condition can and do have good eye contact at times, especially with those who they love and trust.

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inanycase · 15/12/2013 15:16

I think it's very admirable you're tackling this. It's not easy for parents of young children to deal with bullying - either side. My eldest was bulied by a child with a number of diagnoses, one of which was in the autism spectrum. It was making my eldest's life a misery {at age 6!!} Obviously I had to try to deal with the situation delicately, but I ran into brick walls with the mother - "what problem? must be your kid.." was the basic attitude.
Because it became impossible, I had to cut them off. That's when the 'coaching' started - pretty unbelievable for a grown adult to use her child's condition as a cover for getting back at me, but some very starnge comments started coming our way through her child to mine. Stuff a 6yr old child would never think of, autistic spectrum or not. Feel sorry for that young boy.. They finally left the school. Other people had been thru the similar thing. The mother even used to yell at other kids in the school ground. Amazing..

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inanycase · 15/12/2013 15:19

fwiw the effects of bullying can be withdrawal, sadness and not feeliing liked. doesn't help when the perpetrator tells other kids not to be their friend, just reinforces the situation.
Lack of eye contact is definately in there aswell but could be due to some other cause. The best thing you can do is talk to your children and listen to what they're saying to you. Good luck - there can be a light at the end of the tunnel

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ItIsHowItIs · 18/12/2013 12:49

thanks both of you for your replies. We are waiting to see what the psych. says, but I don't feel that he has AS. He is definitely starting to feel more self confident now and isn't aggressive towards other children impulsively and without being provoked. He is reacting very strongly to being teased/tormented by other children (difficult situations seem to make him very emotional and tip him over the edge) and I think he may be starting to bully/tease/torment other children himself (a natural reaction I think for a child who has been bullied). There is loads of information on how to help your child when he is being bullied but so little offered to help a child who is the bully and these are the children that really need help. It may work itself out, but it would be nice to know how to help him to knock this on the head before it starts as well as continue to teach him how to deal with being bullied.