How can I help DS1 to stop being bullied?

(5 Posts)
MagicLlama Sat 08-Dec-12 14:08:07

DS1 (8) is being bullied at school. He only told the school yesterday, following a complete breakdown after an incident in the cloakroom. School appear to be supportive and are going to take steps to "nip it in the bud"

From what DS1 has said though, it has been going on for a while, and has escalated, resulting in the physical incident yesterday. Im now kicking myself as he has been quite and withdrawn over the last few weeks, and not as keen to go into school, but we thought it was because of other issues.

He has mentioned to the teacher that he would like to be able to "defend himself" if he gets picked on again, so I was thinking of enrolling him in some sort of karate / kick boxing classes, but am a bit concerned about him then getting into trouble if he hurts the bullies whilst stopping them IYSWIM?

What other strategies can I give him to help him here? His self confidence is already quite low, so ideas on building that up would also help.

3b1g Sat 08-Dec-12 16:43:48

Sorry to hear this has been happening to him.
I don't have any specific tips, but DS1 was bullied in Y6 and managed to turn things around with help from the class teacher. It's horrible when a sort of 'pack mentality' sets in, a lot of children go along with the meanness because they are scared that if they speak up then they'll become the next target.

DS1's problems went on for a term and a half before I realised the extent of it. I wrote a long letter to his teacher with a request for an appointment. When I met with her, she had spoken to several members of staff and some 'neutral' boys to get the full picture. With her help, DS1 turned things around within three or four weeks. The 'ringleader' is now one of his good friends.

Chottie Sat 08-Dec-12 16:46:19

Just sending you a hug [ ] it is horrible being bullied. I'm glad the school is on side.

ilovexmastime Sat 08-Dec-12 16:50:03

I think karate would be good for him, because as well as being able to defend himself it should also increase his self esteem and confidence, which in turn may prevent him from being bullied in future, iyswim?

lamoseley Tue 11-Dec-12 18:47:20

I completely understand your concerns and just wanted to offer my support.

The guys on hear really helped me with good advice when this happened with our dd(13).

Do they have a anti bullying policy, ask to see it and make sure they are following it if the bullying continues. Unfortunately ours did not and we removed our daughter from school for her own health.

I would advise to ask for regular meetings and updates as to keep on top of what is happening and to see what action they are implementing to put a stop to the bullying,as they have a duty to make sure your child can learn in a safe environment. Do not feel like you can not keep phoning them.

Good luck and best wishes

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