racial and physical

[Rache101]

By DS punched a boy in the face because the boy was using racist behaviour towards him. The boy was saying "At least I don't worship 300 millionn fake gods" and "Well I don't worship a cow" (my DS is a Hindu)

If reported, how far could this go and to whose side?

[ReneeVivien]

How old are the boys?
Any history of bullying, on either side?

Are you asking whether physical violence trumps racial abuse, or the other way round? Because I hope the school would take a more nuanced approach than that.

[Rache101]

they are 15/16, my DS has no record of violence but the other child is a aggravator but the teachers don't really notice this. The boy is quite, lets say...liberal in his views to other races and opinions, but the teachers don't really aknowledge this

[igggi]

Your ds shouldn't have thumped him (ie school won't let him away with that) but the racist abuse should be taken very very seriously. If you're not happy with the head's response your council will have a complaints procedure (assuming not a private school). Equality act should be taken seriously in schools.

[Rache101]

but would the boy actually report him? I mean, he would be pretty stupid to do so when he has just used racial language

[duchesse]

I don't think the abuse your son received was racist. Cretinous, yes, and detrimental about his beliefs, but not racist. Your son should not have thumped him, but I'm sure he knows that. The other boy sounds like a wind-up merchant.

I would hope that their head of year would get them in, give them a stern talking to, get them to apologise to each other and shake hands and leave it at that. I wouldn't like to second-guess the outcome in a real school though.

[ReneeVivien]

I have no idea whether the boy would report him. Your ds may want to take a view on whether he should go to the head first; that may reflect well on him.

How serious was the punch? Did your ds leave marks? Were there witnesses and are they likely to back up your ds' version of events? Does ds know what he SHOULD have done (other than throwing a punch) and will he be able to articulate this to the teachers?

[Rache101]

He punched him, apparently... average strength (he is not that strong) and yes, they were witness's who would back my DS pov. My DS knows it was the wrong thing and is seriously worried that it will get reported and he could be excluled and banned from entering the school's sixth form. I presume they were bruises. And I think he will tell the teachers properly. This is the ONLY fight he has ever had and is otherwise a good pupil, prefect etc (the other boy is a Deputy Head Prefect) And he is regretting it now.

[igggi]

Oh, I assumed you were reporting the other boy's abuse?
Religion (like race) is a protected characteristic under the equality act. Religious taunts like that (as opposed to a healthy debate about religion!) is never acceptable in school or society.

[Rache101]

but if I report it, my child will also be in serious trouble. Double edged sword :(

[RabidEchidna]

I think both boys need to be punished TBH

[Rache101]

how badly?

[duchesse]

Has the other boy reported anything? He would have to be seriously idiotic to do so. My guess is that unless it is aggressively explored by staff nothing will happen at all. It is unacceptable for that other boy to make stupid taunts like that but he got a fist in the face for it today and may just realise that he went too far.

IMO you have to view incidents like this as part of a person's development- 15-16 year olds are emphatically not finished human beings. In ten years' time he will be utterly different and might be utterly charming. Or he might still be a twit.

[igggi]

Ok, thinking of minimising consequences for your son then. If neither boy says anything, nothing happens. If the other boy speaks first, then your son telling about the racism might sound like an excuse. If he tells first, it's more credible, but of course brings up the punch. I'd love to say the school will be understanding about the provocation, but that depends on the headteacher's attitiudes I suppose.

[Rache101]

The headmaster is pretty strict. But is there a chance my DS could be Excluded?

[duchesse]

What your son could do if he's mature enough, is go to his tutor and tell them what happened. Something along the lines of "I did something silly today that I regret, and this is what happened:..." Your son will then have someone among the adults who know what is going on. At least someone will know the full story should the other boy try anything silly like reporting him for violence. It's my guess from working in even very rough schools that no or very few other pupils will support the insulter- they will mostly likely support your son despite the punch.

[Rache101]

My child has apoligised to him over FB if it makes it any better... but i'm sure the boy will still be pretty angry

[Blu]

aaargh at any involvement of fb.

Hopefully getting punched was just what was needed and this will be the end of it. SO many people have said that bullying didn't stop until the victim turned round and punched the bully. I know it's not right etc etc. But, y'know...horses for courses, sometimes.

[igggi]

Rache has any more happened?