Pregnant and bf- how do you know when your milk dries up?(42 Posts)
I think mine's going. I'm only 9 weeks but Ds1 isn't swallowing much when he feeds and seems to want to feed all day and all night- I think because he isn't getting much. Any feeding while pg or tandem feeding stories most welcome because I'm currently hating bf for the first time ever but reluctant to give up as DS goes ballistic if I refuse feeds at night. I've always fed him on demand and he just doesn't understand if I refuse. Currently getting my head round the idea that he'll have to cut down A LOT but not sure how.
That was a bit incoherent. In short, please tell me all your bf while pg and tandem feeding stories. Thanks
Hello, no advice but didn't want to read and run. I'm 20+4 and still EBF my 9mo boys on demand. I've never had supply problems, I seen to have a really good supply. Do you express, maybe stimulating your breasts could help.
Oh and I tandem feed constantly. It's easier and our preferred way. There at a point where they slouch or lay on each other and feed haha.
Wow that's impressive! I'm finding bf very painful too I used to love it before I got pg. When you say boys, are they twins?
Just re read- both 9 months they must be!
DS1 and DS2 respectively complained vocally that it was "all gone" (were over two) and self-weaned
thank fuck as I had major aversion by that point. A few weeks later I was getting the odd weird dried colostrum crystal but nothing else.
That was 8w and 16w respectively - or to put it another way 26m and 25m.
I only just found out I am pregnant, they reckon about 13 weeks (surprise baby). I have been breastfeeding my 16 month old so far, but will be switching onto cows milk slowly. She feeds on average 4-5 times in 24 hours.
How old is your ds?
Ah I would like him to self wean now (I think), although will be devastated too if he does. It feels like he's trying to unsuccessfully extract marrow from my bones... I just don't think he's a quitter! If there's not much there he just sucks harder!!
Oh yes and that reminds me. Cow's milk. People always breezily say 'switch to cow's milk'. My DS won't touch it! He throws it as far as he can and proceeds to take my clothes off to find boobs
Thanks for all the replies though!
DS at 26 weeks just went 'no more milka' and stopped. Either there wasn't any, although my boobs feel a bit fuller than when I was BFing, or it just tasted funny.
The way I got dd1 to accept cows milk was to express bm at first then add cows milk to it. Start with 90% bm to 10% cm then slowly decrease bm %.
I am going to have to do the same with dd2. Also getting someone else to do the first daily feeds non-boob helps, so when DH has holiday soon he will be giving dd2 her midday feed before her nap.
I think we will go cold turkey on the night feeds and just offer water like DH did with dd1. That just leaves the morning and bedtime feeds. Morning is easily got rid of by feeding cereal as soon as they wake.
Tackle bedtime feed last. We switched to not feeding to sleep, then straw cup of milk with dd1. It was cocoa at first to encourage her to take it (She was 2), then once she accepted that plain cm.
Thanks for the tips anotherstitch. When you went cold turkey on night feeds was there a lot of screaming? The one night feed I've ever denied DS he was so distressed, was screaming for what seemed ages, kicking, angry, betrayed... I couldn't keep it up and caved in despite the fact he'd bitten both breasts earlier and I was in quite a lot of pain. DH couldn't comfort him, and as for offering water, anything we offered got thrown away amidst the flailing arms and legs.
Mixing bm with cows is a good idea but DS never really drank expressed milk much and I can't express any more- only get drops. Adding cocoa to cow's milk is one thing we haven't tried, or I thought I might blend milk and mango. Will try that today.
Thanks for all your thoughts and tips. Keep em coming!
nomdeclavier that sounds easy! I hope my DS takes it that well! Bf seems to be his favourite thing in life. He has just 'fed' for three hours solidly this morning in bed, 4.30-7.30am although not much actual swallowing of milk so I don't think he's getting much.
chocolatemartini I have nothing useful to add except to say that I could have written this post!
I have a nearly 16 month boob monster, and am 7 weeks pregnant.
I'm always a bit nonplussed when people say "I just stopped" or "I just switched to cows milk". My ds sounds just like yours - he's not giving it up for anything!
I currently feed him to sleep for every nap (unless out for a walk or in the car), at bedtime, multiple times through the night, and whenever he asks (probably 3-6 times) during the day.
He won't accept any other method of going to sleep. He used to allow dh to settle him but started refusing a few months ago (so before I was pg). He is very persistent and can scream for a looooooong time.
I am finding bf increasingly painful and I am utterly exhausted. I am considering ways to at least night wean him quite soon but I don't feel very confident about succeeding. I dread to think what will happen if my milk dries up completely.
Anyway, I just wanted to say you are not the only one dealing with this situation. I have no helpful suggestions, but misery loves company, right?
Yes I could have written every word that you've just posted! Misery is indeed very happy to have company. Advice and tips are great and I will keep trying any suggestions people have that could work for us but apart from continuing to feed as he wants, whether there's milk there to drink or not, or letting him scream it out for a few nights I can't really see any middle ground that would work. He isn't feeding for nourishment, he gets plenty of food in the day, like you said it's for getting to sleep, and the same here, other people used to be able to rock or walk him to sleep for naps but not any more, since I was pg he goes into a blind panic without his beloved boob. Going to try whizzing up milk & mango today and see if that cuts down on feeds... Will report back. Stay in touch and let me know how it's going with you
Smoothies are a good idea choc <files for future reference>
Yes dd1 screamed like a banshee for 3 nights, then wimpered for a few more, but after a week she slept through unless ill.
Can you create a sleep comfort situation by feeding with him cuddling a blanket or cuddly toy? Then when you stop the boob at least he has that source of comfort. Dd1 had a jellycat bunny (she stills sleeps with at 4), dd2 has a tagged blanket. They both fall asleep to a Fisher Price singing seahorse that I played whilst feeding them to sleep.
Dd3 continued right through pregnancy & still going (ds is 4 months). She complained it tasted wrong & it was certainly low supply for a while but it didn't bother her that much. Was v useful in the engorgement days of a new baby as she could help out.
Hmm how does the sleep comfort go with the week of screaming? Presumably it's no use during that time but is useful after that? I literally cannot imagine DS going to sleep any other way than feeding. I don't think either DH or I could tough it out just yet but I am likewise filing away all these ideas for times of need.
hello. i am currently 11wks pg with dc2 and just stopped feeding dd 16months.
at around 6/7 weeks i started noticing that there was no swallowing going on and she was just dry suckiling so suspected that maybe ot had started to dry up then but dd is not one for just accepting that when it comes to the boob so she would just suck harder and harder!
at that point i was feeding to sleep and feeding back to sleep prob 2-3 times a night and sometimes in the morning if she got up early.
then my morning sickness kicked in (hypermesis actually) and i was too physically ill to get up in the night and feed her so had no choice but to send dp in..she has never settled for anything but boob but i was so so ill i just couldn't do it. the first time dh went in she screamed alot but actually only for 5 mins or so and he walked/rocked her back to sleep. but she woke every hour or so and bless dp had to repeat everytime. dd then would wake for the day at 4.30am and not go back to sleep so dp would get up for the day with her.
this went on for a couple of nights until i was admitted to hospital due to the sickness.
its the first time i had left dd overnight but dp and dd got on really well and as soon as she knew i wasn't there she stopped waking in the night!!
i was in hospital for 5 nights and dp had her sleeping thru by the time i was home.
i thought it would be better to not feed her again and i had tiny boobs by then so milk well gone.
she still asks every day but only as she is obsessed with my boobs and i just say all gone and distract her.
she still loves putting her hand down my top.
she has slept thru ever since.
dp still has to do bed time as if i do it she won't sleep and asks for boob but given that i did 16m of bed times its dp turn!!!
anyway, just wanted to share our story and maybe suggest that with boob monsters like ours sometimes boob staying away for a few nights is the only way!!
My supply dropped very quickly, I know because 16 month old DD became very distressed by it, I've never cried over breastfeeding, always loved it but that made me sob, how upset she got. Took her a week to adjust and now I'm 20 weeks and she has self weaned. My colostrum came in about a month ago and despite initial enthusiasm for it, she then started feeding for less time, missing days, asking for milk then saying no when I got my boob out. It's now been 12 days since her last breastfeed, which lasted 20 seconds, 10 on each side. Part of me is sad but part of me is pleased that she weaned herself. Would she have done it if I hadn't been pregnant? I doubt it. I would have been happy to tandem and was actually looking forward to it as I thought it might help with jealousy but not long after she was born I decided that I wanted her to self wean and that is what has happened so I can't ask for more. If she asks again to feed I'll gladly oblige, before or after the baby comes although I suspect she'll have lost her latch by then
Congratulations by the way
Ok so we tried milk blended with some peach, as we didn't have mango and he actually did a whole body shudder and cried, then asked for noose (juice) then started a massive campaign to find boobs. Will try again tomorrow with mango or cocoa... If he really doesn't like milk I'm loathe to push it as I always hated milk too. He eats yogurt. It's just that we would have liked him to have a milky drink at bedtime <sigh>
Fhdl34 and feekerry hello and thanks for your posts. It's really helpful hearing how it's worked for other people. I guess it's always sad when they self wean
Well, I gave ds a cup of cow's milk this morning with his breakfast - not as a bf substitute, just to see if he would like it. He drank it quite happily, so at least I can use it to get extra calories into him.
He has now been attached to me for an hour and a half, however. I keep trying to leave and he wakes up and cries.
You win some you lose some.
Chocolate have you tried other kinds of milk? Goat, soy, almond etc? Might be worth checking out.
I gave cows milk as a drink with meals from just over a year, she never drank much till my supply dropped, then she increased her intake. I never gave it in place of a breastfeed as I never wanted to heat it, she always has it cold out of the fridge
Fhdl34 yeah that's an idea, just to offer with every meal.
ontherun that's great you got your DS to drink milk. As for being latched on for hours and not able to sneak away, this is very familiar! My DS isn't really any different in this respect than when he was newborn. He will sleep on a person, or latched on to me, or with hand on boob. When deeply asleep I can sometimes sneak away but clearly this will have to change before the new baby arrives. I do not want to upset him over it so I'm hoping my dwindling supply will mean he starts to loose interest <sticks head in the sand and blatantly ignores the mounting evidence that no such thing will happen in our case>
We did try goat's milk but not almond or soy. I thought soya milk was not great for babies but I can't remember why.
Today I laid on the sofa all day and did not attempt to get cow's milk into DS
A month before that I was despairing btw. He was an utter boob monster, there was no way he was accepting any form of comfort from me that wasn't boob and he asked for it constantly even though it was only allowed at bedtime. Something must have changed pretty drastically.
Nom that's encouraging. Did the drastic change happen without too much upset? I don't hear many stories of happy weaning...
He will still ask but in a slightly hopeful 'milka? No more milka'. I was more upset than him I think.
Yes, DS2 weaned swiftly - from maybe 3-4 feeds a day to nothing in about ten days - but we were on holiday for part of that so he was very easily distracted. I thought he was never going to wean and I was desperate!
Horry and nom lucky you both... I will also be v upset
and astonished if DS self weans
We tried warm organic full fat milk with cocoa and brown sugar. Now I don't like milk but even I would drink that... Massive shudder from DS and a very firm NO. Oh well, would have been bad for his teeth. Think we have now tried everything.
Have you tries giving it in a different cup? My DD would only drink it initially out of an open cup, we gave her a bit in a doidy cup with meals and we'd drink out of cups too. Once she started drinking it that way everyday I had a different closed cup for milk. Now if I try to give her water in the milk cup she is not amused. It didn't happen overnight, took a few months. She asked to feed yesterday morning, first time in 2 weeks but when she put her mouth to my breast, she just smiled and laughed at it, then did the same to the other. Can't believe we've gone from full on sobbing 3 months ago because my supply had dropped, to no inclination whatsoever to even put it in her mouth. I miss BFing as she isn't a cuddly baby and I miss my milky cuddles
Another idea is just up his yogurt and cheese, he doesn't need his calcium through milk as long as he gets it from somewhere. I wasn't bothered about her drinking cows milk at all until I got pregnant and knew that my milk supply would not be an adequate source for his calcium anymore
When I fell pg with DD1, DS was only feeding morning and evening (he was 13 months and I was working FT), he self weaned at about 16 months, when I was 5 months pg. I don't know if my milk dried up, but one evening I offered and he didn't latch
Yes he's had yogurt and cheese and icecream today so must have got some calcium. I think we'll give up on milk for now. We've tried special cups too. I decided if he doesn't like it with cocoa then it's a lost cause. But yes, he'll be fine with yogurt and cheese.
Now I just have to see if there's any way around the boob= sleep thing that doesn't involve me deliberately allowing him to cry it out, I'm not prepared to do that yet. If not, sod it, I'll just have to feed both newborn and toddler to sleep countless times per night and become a sleepless zombie woman or something. Sleep is for wimps right?
I ended up tandem feeding ds2 and ds3 and then ds3 and ds4.
Ds2 was a real boob monster, he fed until almost four years old. I gradually weaned him off night feeds just by settling him when restless but still asleep iykwim? By patting/cuddling, but if that didn't work I just fed him.
Tbh he just grew out of it gradually, I was really worried when I was first preg but by the time ds3 was born he generally wasn't feeding in the night, still fed in the day.
Pantley pull off technique helps some people to stop the feed too sleep pattern, Google it.
But my advice is this will pass...
How old is he again?
Oh 5madthings thank you the Pantley pull off does look like it might offer some hope.
At the moment I resettle him by feeding back to sleep between 6 and err probably up to 25 times a night. It's been worse recently with the heat, under normal circumstances more like 6 times. I'm understandably worried about how I could manage that with a newborn!
When I was trying to night wean (to get pg) I offered water in a bottle while he was rooting, before he was properly awake. It often worked because he was seeking comfort sucking rather than actual milk. We were co-sleeping so it was easy to catch him early.
A few weeks of that and my cycle was kickstarted again so we relaxed the night weaning rule.
If anyone's still following this, I'm now 12wks and DS abrubptly self weaned yesterday we had the first milk free night (he still woke 5 times) and no feeds this morning. I feel sad now that I'd been trying the Pantley thing, it made no difference and just upset him in what turns out were probably some of his last feeds ever oh well, they have to grow up I guess...
PS I now know the answer to my original question. You know when your milk dries up because your toddler is inconsolable and stops feeding.
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