Are you STILL breastfeeding?

(50 Posts)
HalfBakedCleverCookie Tue 30-Apr-13 22:41:38

I have gone back to work after materninty leave, one woman asked me what diet I have been doing. I said oh none, its just breastfeeding.

Que shock horror, your not STILL breastfeeding are you?! Your not gonna be one of those women who are breastfeeding their ten year old are you?

Ds is 9 months old.

I thought I would come here for some reassurance that I am not strange or abnormal.

milkwasabadchoice Tue 30-Apr-13 22:49:19

Tell her to nob off.
I mix fed dd evening and morning till she was nearly a year and never thought I was unusual, different, special or weird. Just my choice.

MangoLangoTango Tue 30-Apr-13 22:50:46

Not strange, but I don't talk about it now. People just assume we have stopped. Only close friends and family are aware, as they see DS asking for it. He is two.

Unfortunately you colleagues attitude to breast feeding is quite common in Britain.

DefiniteMaybe Tue 30-Apr-13 22:51:46

Oh just ignore her I'm feeding dd now shes 21months so I must be more strange than you grin

YonicTheHedgehog Tue 30-Apr-13 22:51:50

Nah not strange, 14 months and no sign of stopping here. Sure there'll be more people who've done it even longer along in a min too.
I know it shouldn't, but I end up feeling like I'm doing something wrong when people say that to me, It's a shame really.

YonicTheHedgehog Tue 30-Apr-13 22:52:30

I'm such a slow typer! Massive cross posts!

WinkyWinkola Tue 30-Apr-13 22:53:42

I had this. Ds1 was 10 months old. I should have smirked and said, "Yep. Queen Bitty."

You've got to develop a thicker skin to shrug off the morons who make comments like this.

Daisydoomoo Tue 30-Apr-13 23:01:52

Oh I remember those comments.

Although not as bad as my gran (god bless her soul) told me off for breast feeding my first son at 6 weeks old! Her words being "he don't need his mummy still".....

All 3 of mine self weaned by age 2.

WouldBeHarrietVane Wed 01-May-13 00:44:01

I just don't tell people DS is 21 months and still happily feeding smile

Stupid comment by her, but good work by you to still be feeding!!!

You are normal she is rude! End!

louisianablue2000 Wed 01-May-13 00:55:38

FFS. My standard response to these comments is 'WHO advice is to BF for at least 2 years' followed by a hard stare. Usually shuts them up.

peacemoon Wed 01-May-13 01:07:17

RUDE! That's what! First 2 I fed for 6 months and dc 3 I fed for a year and probably would have done it for longer if I wasn't 3 months pregnant with dc4 ( who bythe way didn't take to it at all and I gave up after 3 months!).

PogoBob Wed 01-May-13 01:29:41

I'm feeding 4mo DS and is older sister who is 2 3/4 yo so 9 months is definately not strnage here.

Admittedly I would like to stop feeding DD but she's having none of it!

K8Middleton Wed 01-May-13 01:37:03

A cool "why would you think that I would breastfeed a 10 year old. What a weird thing to say. Are you feeling quite well?" usually does the trick.

I got this from my own mother. She went: "breastfeed, breastfeed, breastfeed, breastfeed, breastfeed, breastfeed, breastfeed, breastfeed" while I struggled and mix fed, until one day when he was 8mo and I'd dropped the formula for 3 months "Don't you think you should stop that now?" FFS.

goodasgold Wed 01-May-13 01:39:26

No I was working for a pretty big bank in trading and treasury, my little boy was two when I stopped feeding him myself. I didn't advertise that I was still breastfeeding, but I would never have lied about it either.
It wasn't relevant or important to my job, I just kept it to myself. I wasn't ashamed, it just never came up. My colleagues would never have dreamt that I was an extended breastfeeder. Loads of us do it.

bicyclebuiltforfour Wed 01-May-13 01:44:58

Nope - you're a great mum smile You should be proud of yourself.

HalfBakedCleverCookie Wed 01-May-13 08:17:24

Thanks everyone, where are all the real life breastfeeders!

Honestly all I ever get asked is when will I be giving up, even the doctor said that after 12 months I will have done my bit!

I feel better knowing you are all out there. I am hoping ds will self wean between 1 and 2 but I'm not too.g to force it.

I think it is a bit of a leap from "bf made me lose weight" to "I am still bf" so I wonder why she made that assumption?

"Still" here at just over two, and 13w pg. Someone asked me the other day if I was planning to tandem. I said I bloody hope not.

My current grand total is 51 months over two DC. Fully functional boobage here.

EauRouge Wed 01-May-13 08:27:29

Get thee to an LLL meeting grin You'll find plenty of women BF older babies there.

Don't worry, the 'are you STILL breastfeeding?' lot do give up asking after a while. WHO guidelines are to BF for 2 years and beyond if desired. Tell them to stick that in their pipe and smoke it.

HalfBakedCleverCookie Wed 01-May-13 08:32:35

I wish I was that assertive, I usually end up feeling like I am doing something wrong and mutter something about stopping when he is one.

Horry, I,m not sure how she made the leap, maybe because I've not put the weight back on yet.

my mother keeps telling dd 14 more that the milk is for the new baby hmm . no its not itrs yours dd, solely for another 4 months!

Homebird8 Wed 01-May-13 08:39:11

My FIL was the one who kept asking about me feeding his 18month DGS. One day I snapped and probably unwisely said 'Oh, I should think by the time he gets married it'll be someone else's breasts he's wanting to suck!' blush But it stopped the questions!

ShowOfHands Wed 01-May-13 08:43:18

"You seem very interested in my breasts Madame Colleague. Would you like to talk about why that is?"

You're not weird in the slightest. In fact from my perspective (fed one to natural term, still feeding a 20 month old), you're only just starting out. grin

I suppose I can understand somebody being surprised if they've never breastfed or been around breastfeeding because they see only the child you have now and not the continual feeding of a baby from newborn onwards. They don't see the progress of a bfing relationship but to make comments about feeding a 10yo is deeply inappropriate and not even approaching amusing, if indeed that was what she was aiming for.

EauRouge Wed 01-May-13 08:47:00

I'm sorry she made you feel like that. You're definitely not doing anything wrong! You're doing a wonderful thing. Have you seen this? There are loads of different ideas for coping with criticism if you don't feel you're assertive enough for telling them to bog off.

TheBookofRuth Wed 01-May-13 09:02:31

I'm still feeding my 15 month DD and have no plans to stop till she's ready. One of the other mums from my NCT group actually instructed me to "stop before she's one or I'll think you're weird". Yeah, that's a good reason!

HalfBakedCleverCookie Wed 01-May-13 09:40:51

Really bookofruth, well of course that is a great reason to stop feeding!

thanks Eau, that looks very helpful.

I thought we had cracked it when Mil realised that ds really won't take a bottle, she did think I was lying and just forcing the boob on him.

TheBookofRuth Wed 01-May-13 09:45:41

Ha, DD will take a bottle, though she prefers breast. When the same woman from my NCT group realised this, she said something how in that case I was clearly just doing it for my own benefit not DD's!

OrangeFootedScrubfowl Wed 01-May-13 09:55:52

By the time they're two, people have given up moaning on about 'still breastfeeding?' I found.

raisinggirls Wed 01-May-13 09:57:43

DD2 is 20 months old on Saturday and still BF. Jolly useful it is too!

She took a huge tumble the other day onto a concrete slab, massive graze and a black eye. BF was the best medicine and comfort I could give her, and instant. There are so many good reasons to carry on, your colleague is probably jealous although more likely just ignorant

You are doing a good thing. flowers

Startail Wed 01-May-13 10:08:24

You can smile and say of course I'm not going to feed him until he's 10.
9 will be fine. (DD2 did finally agree double figures would be silly).

Unfortunately you don't see people BFing older babies because most go to morning, evening and perhaps nap time once they are eating well.

The only place DD fed a lot from 6 months to about 12 months was in her sisters boring swimming lessons. By 18 months she was simply too tall. she needed to put her legs on the chair, person next to her. So it tended to be the sofa or the bed at home.

She is an outwardly very confident, socially aware child. She knew by two not to ask in public, I never said anything. Sadly she instinctively knew people would judge.

She choose to continue in private because, I don't think, she is quite as self assured as she likes to pretend. It was her quiet safe place, her having mummy and the world under her control for just 10 minutes. As far as I was concerned it was just as natural as hugging her and so much part of being her mum I didn't really think about it. Nor did DH or DD1 it was just what DD2 did.

Good luck OP, you and your DS will know when to stop and not your family, friends or GP. All the BF DCs I've known well have continued to somewhere between 2 and 5 years and, with the possible exception of a veggie doctor, not one of us has any lentil weaving tendencies.

HalfBakedCleverCookie Wed 01-May-13 10:14:15

Thanks. Everyone I knew I could count on mn to make me feel better about this.
It's so sad that people don't feel able to breast feed their older babies & children in public. I thought I had awhile before I had to explain myself or hide away, poor baby is only 9 months!

Startail Wed 01-May-13 10:15:45

As for forcing a boob on a child. DD1 choose to give up at 5 months.

She threw her head back and screamed if I tried to BF her. We'd muddled a long mixed feeding from 2 weeks and she hugely preferred bottles.

After I'd had a minor op and 24 hrs of feeding her she decided no more of this nonsense and just point blank refused ever to latch on avain.

Startail Wed 01-May-13 10:16:32

Agin

christinarossetti Wed 01-May-13 10:19:30

I bf 2 children over 6 years - youngest until he was nearly 4.

I just never, never mentioned it to anyone except maybe a close friend.

I do get the 'educate people' line, but I just can't be bothered - just smile, nod and get on with your day.

TheHuffAndPuffALot Wed 01-May-13 10:35:29

29 months and still going strong here!
I'd quite like to stop but dd is having none of it.
As pp said upthread it has its benefits so I'm not too bothered tbh.

Just keep going for as long as is right for you both, and do your best to ignore the sarcastic comments from idiots.

mrsmartin1984 Wed 01-May-13 12:32:13

some are still suprised I'm feeding my 3 month old. All this pressure to move on to formula is insane. keep going, you're doing what's best

MyNameIsAnAnagram Wed 01-May-13 12:42:58

I did fine there was pressure to stop at about 9m from a few people, but it tended to be family, my friends and work colleagues didn't have an issue.

Nyunya Wed 01-May-13 12:46:46

Still feeding 19mo DD here, and don't think she wants to stop any time soon. Usually respond with a "Yeah! Great, isn't it?!" In a very positive, sunny, smiley way!

Or "I expect she'll wean before she leaves home... <sudden realisation> ooo what if she doesn't? <think about it> ... well I'll just have to move out with her"

Keep up the good work - bf as long as you are both happy with continuing!

alikat724 Wed 01-May-13 14:25:23

You're perfectly normal! I'm still feeding my 17mo DD, been back at work since she was 9 months, pumping discretely as required. We'll go until she is around 2 I think, she is starting to self-wean but I'm fairly relaxed about an end date, hoping to do it naturally to save trauma on both sides. Do what feels right for you and your baby!

TerrariaMum Wed 01-May-13 18:49:47

You are perfectly fine. Your colleague is being silly.
I am currently still BFing my nearly 2.5 yo DD1 as well as feeding 2 week old DD2.

I also agree with the suggestion to go to a LLL meeting. You will meet a load of women doing similar things and having the backup of so many means comments like that roll off you.

HalfBakedCleverCookie Wed 01-May-13 20:44:51

I would love to go to a lll meeting but there aren't any round here. I know I have the mumsnet crew behind me so that helps.

harverina Wed 01-May-13 21:48:50

When I was pregnant a relative tried to give me little tubs to store formula and I said I won't need those I want to breastfeed. Her reaction was to say yes but you will need then after 6 weeks. Good intentions but sadly a sign of what a lot of people think in the uk.

My dd fed until she was 2.5 when she chose to stop herself. I'm not sure if she is classed as a natural term feeder as circumstances probably distracted her (moved in with grandparents for a whole) and there was so much more fun things to do than bf in the mornings.

Over the 2.5 years I had many shocked responses to my decision to continue to bf - friends, relatives, gp's etc. I tried the who guidelines a few times but many people seem to believe that this only applies to developing countries shockangry so I have up with this with certain people!

It's your choice, your giving your dc an amazing start in life grin

KB02 Wed 01-May-13 22:04:37

Another one here, ds just turned one and not showing any signs of stopping yet. I still feed him in public and luckily not had any negativity yet

BeyonceCastle Wed 01-May-13 23:13:00

Would have said to colleague in my best Miranda Hart voice Rude!!!
Fed both of mine to 27 months and expect shall do the same for my third.
Don't give a toss what other people think tbh - tis their problem if they have a problem with it not mine. If they make it my problem however by acting like asshats I have and will put them straight DH says I am a bit scary when provoked but is my most supportive bf advocate as it means he only does nappies not bottles flowers for you xx

1Catherine1 Fri 03-May-13 18:28:30

Still Breastfeeding here too, DD is 2 years old. I too don't talk about it though, I let people assume we've stopped after a (childless) colleague made a similar comment when she was 6mo, to which I informed her of the World Health Organisations reccommendations on the matter

HelloBear Fri 03-May-13 18:41:54

I remember getting this with Dd when I went back at 11 months. My team mate was horrified! But when I joked that it burns callories she said she wanted twins as she is perminately on a diet.

onehitwonder Fri 03-May-13 18:54:24

Well not anymore, but fed DD until she was 2.5 and DS to 3.5 (so a whopping 6 years). I expressed at work both times for about 4 months too, so plenty of people must have known. I got the odd comment, but just ignored it.

I'm on mumsnet on my phone as I breast feed my just turned 1 yr old ds to sleep

HalleLouja Fri 03-May-13 20:56:46

I am just stopping now and DD is 2 this month. We are taking it super slowly too. I think I will be sad when it ends.

9 months is early doors.

bicyclebuiltforfour Fri 03-May-13 21:13:43

Come over to New York: I'm seen as having stopped feeding DD early (at 12m). Every mum here I meet seems to have gone way beyond that without considering themselves to be 'extended' breastfeeders. I seriously think that getting out a bottle here raises more eyebrows than getting out your boob.

People are so committed to BF here: despite going back to work 12wks after giving birth they lug a breast pump to the office and pump three/four/five times a day. In the UK most people just wouldn't bother.

Do what's right for you and your baby: forget everyone else.

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