I just got my first 'time to think about weaning' from a HCP

(36 Posts)
EauRouge Wed 17-Apr-13 16:47:02

Do I get some sort of badge now? Bit peed off, also with myself for not just saying "it's not negotiable" instead of getting all flustered and saying something about it just being bedtime. I shouldn't have to defend myself angry

Startail Wed 17-Apr-13 16:53:15

How old is your DC?

Suffice to say DD2 was BFing when she went to the GP aged 5 months and wasn't the next time she went aged 11 years.

Fortunately the nice orthopaedic surgeons who fixed her broken arm in the mean time didn't ask wink

EauRouge Wed 17-Apr-13 16:56:14

Eldest is 4.6yo, youngest is 2.2yo. It's never really come up that I've had to mention it before, I usually research all the drugs myself.

I've got to see another HCP tomorrow, I'll have the DDs with me this time so I am preparing myself to say 'not negotiable' and just change the subject. There is medication I can take that will not affect BF so I have no medical reason to wean.

WouldBeHarrietVane Wed 17-Apr-13 16:57:21

Eau sad

I find it so hard when what seems normal and mainstream to me (ebf) conflicts with the general view of society that I am often shocked. Sometimes only think later of what I should have said at the time!

Why is weaning being suggested?

How old is your dc?

WouldBeHarrietVane Wed 17-Apr-13 16:58:34

Sorry, x posted!

Good that there are other options medication-wise! Your youngest is only just beyond the WHO minimum!!

EauRouge Wed 17-Apr-13 17:04:27

I know, I think people just don't get it. I've been going 4.6 years, it barely even registers to me now- it's as normal as eating and drinking myself. I don't see it as an area of concern at all, I did say as much but I suppose people must think there's a reason why you would breastfeed a 4.6yo.

midori1999 Wed 17-Apr-13 17:13:34

Well, yes, there is a reason to BF a 4.6 year old, they want to, you want to and it's good for both of you healthwise and otherwise. But of course, you know this.

It's a shame they said anything to you. If it makes you feel better I had to discuss breast surgery with a plastic surgeon when DD was about 9 months old and was told I would have to stop BF for the surgery. I asked about how soon after the surgery I may be able to relactate and he looked horrified and said 'your milk would have dried up', so obviously didn't have much of a clue, but I just burst into tears... Embarrassing.... I have since found a surgeon who is supportive of me breastfeeding and said 'it's your daughters right, just come and see me again when you have finished breastfeeding and completed your family' as I may not be able to breastfeed after the surgery. If only they were all like that...

WouldBeHarrietVane Wed 17-Apr-13 17:14:09

That's the thing, isn't it Eau? Mine is nearly 2 now, but I think to myself, 'why wouldn't I bf' when he loves it, it's such cosy time and so good for him!

WouldBeHarrietVane Wed 17-Apr-13 17:15:53

Midori, I had a similar experience with surgery of a different kind and a surgeon who kept saying 'are you STILL bf'? DS was 4 months sad hmm

Then I found a really supportive surgeon who was great about the bf and had my op later.

EauRouge Wed 17-Apr-13 17:24:06

I wish I'd just kept my mouth shut now. I had surgery a few months ago and I don't think I even told the surgeon I was BF because there was no need. I'm annoyed with the NHS at the moment anyway, this is not improving my opinion at all! 4 months, Harriet? sad

midori1999 Wed 17-Apr-13 17:53:55

4 months is so young, even if you went by the 'EBF for 6 months' it's still well under that. sad

I know it's easier said than done Eau, but I'd just try and forget it, remembering that they are a sad product of our culture and ignorant.

I have mentioned breastfeeding to all the health professionals involved in my pregnancy care (there are lots of them, I am very high risk) and except the stupid midwife at booking, not one has so much as frowned, they seem quite approving. DD is 22 months, which isn't ancient, I know, but still. The booking midwife was awful, but when I quoted the WHO guidelines to her she backtracked, so she must have known she was in the wrong.

Odd though, how they want everyone to BF, but just not for 'too long'... hmm

EauRouge Wed 17-Apr-13 18:11:29

I might take my copy of Breastfeeding Answers Made Simple with me tomorrow, it's got loads of good stuff in there and hefty enough to double as a weapon grin

5madthings Wed 17-Apr-13 18:19:30

I would gather some info on natura
L term bfeeding and the natural weaning age of between 3-7yrs? And the stuff about MILK teeth and how weaning occurs naturally as most lose their latch as they get their permanent teeth.

I horrified a Dr at hospital by bfeeding ds2 age two and a half ish.I had already been feeding ds3 who was a few month s old, the Dr had already said I couldn't have enough milk for ds3 (big baby) which I ignored and then he was all "you are still feeding him, you do know he should be eating solid foods by now"....cos obviously a whopping great big two and a half yr old is still going to be solely bfed....

EauRouge Wed 17-Apr-13 18:35:59

Well if they think I should wean then the onus is on them to come up with the evidence. They'll have lots of fun looking, I'm sure grin Gah, I'm so annoyed that I didn't stand up for myself a bit more.

TrinityRhino Wed 17-Apr-13 18:37:31

dont be annoyed with yourself, its ok

just be ready next time grin

Kveta Wed 17-Apr-13 18:40:54

BAMS will make a fine weapon grin

WouldBeHarrietVane Wed 17-Apr-13 20:07:32

Eau if you accidentally dropped it on his toe it would definitely hurt! Happened to me the other day smile

harverina Wed 17-Apr-13 21:15:10

Grrrr very annoying eau.

My dd fed until she was 2.5 when she self weaned. We had moved in with my in laws temporarily and I think she was too busy to bother with bf so just stopped.

Anyway, when she was 9 months she had a terrible sickness bug for 9 days. At one gp appointment I was told not to breastfeed her at all as this would just make her sick and the gp said "don't worry about your supply, it shouldn't matter if she stopped now anyway"....actually it would have!!! Anyway thank goodness for mumsnetters telling me the correct guidance for nursing sick babies grin

EauRouge Thu 18-Apr-13 08:47:00

Harriet, yowch! I've got an e copy now on my phone, very handy and not as heavy.

It seems to be quite common for mothers to be told to stop BF if their baby has D&V confused I think GPs must get cows' milk and breastmilk mixed up. Doh.

WouldBeHarrietVane Thu 18-Apr-13 08:53:28

Sounds great, Eau! Didn't even know you could get an e copy - is it pricey?

I was also told not to bf until 4 hours after an episode of sickness. Like I could stop DS feeding when he's lying in bed ill next to me!! That would have just caused tears and major upset, and I ignored the advice blush

EauRouge Thu 18-Apr-13 09:01:34

I don't know, it was a present from DH. I can't imagine it would have been more than about £20. Not as handy for hitting HCPs round the head when they tell you to wean though grin

DD2 had D&V recently for 8 days and breastmilk was the only thing she could keep down for more than 5 minutes. She probably would've ended up needing medical treatment if I hadn't been BF. I was like Lady MacBeth that week, I was so determined not to catch it. Knackering enough exclusively breastfeeding a 2yo without getting D&V yourself!

EauRouge Thu 18-Apr-13 10:54:42

Ha, all that worrying over nothing. GP was lovely and quite grateful that I'd done all the research on which drugs were safe. grin

WouldBeHarrietVane Thu 18-Apr-13 12:57:57


eagerbeagle Thu 18-Apr-13 21:36:24

This is interesting. DD (18mo) currently had a horrific D&V bug. Was at hospital earlier this week and they did not know what to make of her BFIng. The ward nurse advised me not to Bfeed and swap to dioralyte as milk was not advised for D&V. I explained that I knew diary should be avoided but that breastmilk was not dairy and that NICE guidelines said to keep nursing. They were trying v hard to work out how much breastmilk she was getting. Again I had to explain that 18mo were very efficient feeders and time on the breast would not tell you much about how much was going in but that I was confident that she was getting a fair amount. Later on the doctor was befuddled as he thought DD was exclusively Bfed (heaven knows why) as he was asking if I made enough milk to sustain her. I had to explain that yes, she did eat other food as well hmm

Unimpressive lack of knowledge from the paediatric ward.

ShowOfHands Thu 18-Apr-13 21:46:46

A hcp asked me the other day when ds would start having things other than breastmilk. He's 19 months old and obviously because I'm still bfing him, he hasn't had any solids <sigh>. Wonder what she'd have made of dd who fed for years. Would she have assumed that I nipped into preschool at lunchtime whilst shrieking about the horrors of chewy food?


You're only doing it for yourself
Keeping them a baby
No nutrition
Blah blah zzzzz

Just, y'know, in case...

I am considering contriving a meeting with my hv. I saw her first time round when dd was 19 months and she was horrified I was still bfing as I would waste away, die of anaemia and dh would leave me due to lack of sex. The mind boggles. Really, what do people think extended bfing IS? Not that 19 months is even extended. Now I have another 19 month old, I'm alive and dh is still her and getting his oats. She's pop.

ShowOfHands Thu 18-Apr-13 21:47:14


ShowOfHands Thu 18-Apr-13 21:48:34

Ooooh I've also had the you can't bf your child during norovirus as dairy is bad for them. I am not a cow.

harverina Thu 18-Apr-13 22:21:38

Haha showofhands grin at I am not a cow!

You know i am laughing at the responses of hcp'a but as you say eau your dd could have ended up in hospital if it wasn't for her staying hydrated via breast milk. My dd was exactly the same and added to that she got a tremendous amount of comfort when poorly and Breastfeeding. It's actually pretty dangerous advice we have been getting.

Cannot believe that some hcp'a would think that a toddler would oy be getting breastmilk. My dd loved boo boo but she loves her grub too!

Someone said up thread about setting up a meeting with their hv just to shock them - seriously I was often tempted to goad health professionals and others as I knew what their response would be! But that's not nice of me grin


harverina Thu 18-Apr-13 22:22:16

So sorry for typos blush

Teatimecakes Thu 18-Apr-13 23:17:59

I came across some major ignorance on our local hospitals peadiatric ward this year. DS was just 13 weeks and admitted to hospital with d and v bug. I was told to stop feeding immediately. Being a ftm I did so for 12 hours. Then after a bit of research as it just didn't sit right with me, had an actual row with peadiatric nurse who said my milk was a dairy product and would make him worse! Threw the WHO and NICE guidelines at her and fed DS. He was well and home in 8 hours after 12 hours of going downhill on dioralyte - unbelievable that drs can be so ignorant.

LauraPashley Thu 18-Apr-13 23:30:54

Am loving "I am not a cow" grin! Sure I will have occasion to use it soon as the d&v bug is doing the rounds again here. Dd2 has her 2 year check coming up, where the HV will no doubt tell me off for still feeding her, as she did when dd1 was that age. Anyway just wanted to put in a good word for nhs24 who on 3 separate occasions recently have made positive comments re bf and also confirmed that it was the best thing a d&v stricken dd could have!

5madthings Fri 19-Apr-13 00:40:00

teatime that is shocking that they made you stop bfeeding a 13wk old!

If I were you I would be writing to inform them if their misguided and frankly shockingly crap 'advice'.

Startail Fri 19-Apr-13 00:54:00

AS for medication, DD2 probably got a some non BFing anti fungal stuff when she was about 4, I did gently try and suggest she stopped.

She was having non of it so I decided she really wasn't small enough or feeding often enough to worry hugely.

Fortunately in the next 5 years I never had to take anything the dr. wouldn't have given her.

And no I haven't died of anemia, I'm sadly, heavier than when she was a baby and DH certainly seems happy.

And given she went to school with my GP's DDs it's probably best I never did have to say anything.

Teatimecakes Fri 19-Apr-13 01:29:03

Made a formal complaint to the ward sister the next morning. She was mortified and took it very seriously - the next peadiatric dr we saw congratulated me on standing my ground with the night staff and that I'd don't the right thing! Senior consultant then came to see us to apologise on behalf of 'the team'

Teatimecakes Fri 19-Apr-13 01:29:37

Major arse covering!!

moremintsliceplease Sun 21-Apr-13 08:05:37

Gosh I am glad we live in Oz whenever mine had D&V as a baby/toddler the drs were always relieved he was still feeding and said small frequent feeds were the best thing for him.

When I went to the doc when preg again I was a bit apprehensive about saying I was still breastfeeding my 26 mth old but she just smiled and said she fed her youngest til he was 3.5

I thinj health professionals have a really big influence on attitudes I know I have been v lucky and am sure I have breastfed longer here than would have otherwise.

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