Should I just give up bfing?

(49 Posts)
Cupcakemummy85 Sun 17-Mar-13 07:40:34

My dd2 is 4 weeks old now and we've had all sorts of problems with bfing. From extremley windy to being sick a lot to feeding for 7 hours straight. Dd1 is 20 months and I'm exhausted. Dd2 is doing so well, gaining lots of weight but she is never really settled and constantly needs to go on the breast. A few days ago I ended up feeding her for 7 hours which nearly killed me and mentally broke me. Her latch has been checked, I've spoken to bf counsellors, we r seeing doc and tongue tie clinic again next week to check it hasn't grown back.
Yesterday I gave her my milk in bottles and she seemed so much better. She also had formula and everyone said I should just go straight to formula. It makes me really sad as I fed dd1 for 8 months and I'm frustrated because its not working this time. I keep telling dh that even after formula she still needs the breast for comfort. He keeps saying she's too sick on my milk and it's causing her pain so why would I want to cause her pain. It's making me very upset. I have no support to carry on bfing. Dh thinks the stress of bfing will bring on PND again but not will probably bring it on again too as the guilt will just overwhelm me.

zoobaby Sun 17-Mar-13 08:30:54

Hi cupcake. Didn't want to read and run. Please just do whatever is best for you and your LO. No-one has the right to question or judge your decision and your DH needs to support whatever that is. Only you can decide.

I don't think there is failure with BF. Just different problems and solutions that are unique to different women and different DCs.

I'm certain there will be some very knowledgeable people along soon who will be able to offer some great advice (Sunday morning and all).

Hope you find a solution you're both happy with.

Jayne266 Sun 17-Mar-13 08:40:35

I had to give up bf for medical reasons and He had more windy/tummy issues.

But I never looked back and it felt really nice as DH could feed him also. But I got a lot of comments about this and people made me feel horrible for not doing it.

You pick which one is best for you both.

tiktok Sun 17-Mar-13 09:01:39

sad sad Cupcake....I have read a number of posts from you, and it is so sad you are struggling like this.

Your dh and you are not on the same wavelength about this - you are experiencing a lot of difficulty but your milk is not making your dd sick or making her experience pain.

The main issue seems to be the length of time your baby is needing to be on or near the breast. It's not possible to see from your posts how literally it is that she is feeding non-stop for this number of hours, or if it is she needs to be close to you and prefers to nap/sleep in your arms/at your breast. This could be managed more easily I think, but you need someone in your real life who understands about bf, who understands how bf is important to you, and who will listen to your feelings. Who is the 'everyone' telling you to completely switch to formula? They are not helping! Find someone else you can trust and develop a plan to cope better with this stage of your dd's needs - is there anyone you have consulted so far who can help in this way?

Cupcakemummy85 Sun 17-Mar-13 09:21:56

The "everyone" is my dh and his family. My mil feed my dh and his brother on formula very early on and says I should just get on with it think about my dd1 an do the same. There is noting wrong with formula and if there was tey would tell mothers to give it to our children when they r six months or vitamins. But, I've been trying so hard to keep going and it would b so frustrating to just how up now. My dd2 really is litreally in my breat sucking for hours upon hours. She cries in pain and fusses and is sick a lot after comin off the breast. I've not gone to dd1's play groups because I've been to so many breast feeding groups and I'm starting to really feel guilty about that. I fed my dd2 non stop for seven hours two days ago and my dh said he's had enough its not fair on anybody. It's a horrible feeling knowin I'm making everyone in my family sad. I'm going to the doctors next week and I'm hoping they can shed some light on why my dd2 is crying at the breast in pain, won't settle and has a ridiculous amount of wind. It's not that she wants to nap on me or be close to me, I have a sling and use it but se searches for the breast and wants to drink. When u see it it's obvious she has runny pain and wants to relive it. I feel really sorry for my whole family. I'm not sure what to do.

HerrenaHarridan Sun 17-Mar-13 09:29:55

You are not causing you baby pain that is a horribly cruel thing to say.

I'm not going to tell you to continue or stop.

If YOU want to continue, do.

It doesn't sound to me like you do though. Ignore detractors!

Remember it gets easier as baby gets better at it. smile

HerrenaHarridan Sun 17-Mar-13 09:32:01

Also, have you tried eliminating various things from your diet?

Cupcakemummy85 Sun 17-Mar-13 09:41:04

I want to continue, but I want the 7 hour marathons to stop. I'm no stranger to breastfeeding and I know it perfectly normal for a baby to feed for hours, my other dd used to comfort suck for hours, we used to fall asleep in bed with her using me as a dummy. I'm actually scared of stopping as its so much easier to comfort a baby when u breastfeed and that is exactly what I did with dd1. It hurts me to see my baby in so much pain and I'm worried its my milk. I'm trying my absolute best to cut out dairy. Which is so hard for me as I'm a big lover of all things dairy and don't have the strongest bones in the world. It could also b her tongue tie is still a problem and wasn't sorted. I'm hoping the doctor and the tongue tie lady can help me shed some light on what's going on. She's in pain, windy (both ends, more the bottom end ;) ) unsettled and being sick. It's very distressing and stressful for my dh and I. I don't think a day has go r by we haven't argued yet.

SoftSheen Sun 17-Mar-13 09:42:12

Sorry you're having such a tough time cupcake I'm not an expert but I just wanted to make a couple of points:

-The first 6-8 weeks are usually the toughest. Perhaps if you could stick it out a bit longer then things might improve by themselves?

-If DD is feeding for several hours at a time, it might be that she just needs to be close to you rather then being constantly hungry. Have you tried putting her in a sling so that she can sleep on you whilst you do other things? Some people also manage to bf in a sling (though I personally never got the hang of this).

Good luck and I hope things get better for you soon smile

kernowmissvyghen Sun 17-Mar-13 11:22:02

Oh Cupcake, poor you! I've been wondering how things have been going (I posted on your earlier thread).

You said breastfeeding isn't working this time- well, it is, your DD is alive and gaining weight, being nourished by your milk. It IS working!

She may have a medical issue that is causing her discomfort and needs to suck a lot to make herself feel better. Or the tongue tie might have regrown- a medical issue that can be fixed. You've arranged appointments, so for now that's all you can do in that department.

You breastfeeding isn't the thing causing the problem, that's a daft thing for your DH to think. And not particularly helpful of him either. The problem is a separate issue. Might it help to have a talk with him on those lines?

I don't want to demonise your DH because having a newborn is tough for everyone in the family. Maybe he's forgotten how tough having a newborn is? Or maybe he's worried about you getting pnd again and wants to try to make things more controllable ( along the lines of "bottle fed babies only feed every 4hrs, my mum told me so, if only DW would bottle feed, DD would conform to my mother's 1970s ideas about infant feeding"- nonsense of course, and totally ignores the fact that there's a reason why your DD is feeding like this, probably a medical reason. But if that is his thought process it should be easier to make him see sense than just having a row about it.

One suggestion for today: can DH put her in the sling and take her out for a walk so you can have a break / some time with your other one? I get that she will probably protest, but you need a break and she will survive for an hour with her dad.

Hang in there, you are doing a difficult job very well!

kernowmissvyghen Sun 17-Mar-13 11:33:21

Oh, and please try to stop worrying about DD1! At 20 months she isn't going to know that she's not been to 4 sessions of play group, and it will not have harmed her at all!

Round here all playgroups etc stop for 6 weeks every summer- that doesn't harm or upset any of the children who go, so it really is a non- issue. Don't beat yourself up about things that don't matter.

Not an expert, but your dd sounds like she may have reflux? Symptoms are ringing alarm bells for me - wanting to constantly feed and being sick. They want to feed as the feeding soothes their little poorly tums, but they over feed and therefore are sick, causing the cycle to begin again.

Formula will not solve that.

Could also be tongue tie: if she is tied again, she can't form a proper seal on the breast, so she takes in air, leading to lots of wind.

Cupcakemummy85 Sun 17-Mar-13 20:41:30

It's so worrying. I hope the doctor can help if it is reflux. She just had one of her cluster feeding marathons and then threw up a lot of milk. I feel so sorry for her. It's really distressing to see your baby throw up so much. Now she will want to feed some more because she has thrown up so much sad

stargirl1701 Sun 17-Mar-13 20:46:45

Could it be silent reflux?

piggyboo Sun 17-Mar-13 20:51:50

just a thought but could it be cows milk protein intolerance? i know you said lo had had formula before but with ds it was the third time he had formula that he had a real reaction to it. whilst i was bf he was always really sicky and like you i thought formula might help. he then had a reaction to the formula every time i gave it he would projectile vomit til he brought up bile. luckily i hadn't stopped bf altogether so pu him back on bm and cut out dairy myself which was really hard at first. he was like a different baby after 2 weeks. he is now more settled, less needy and is sick much less. Just a suggestion.
Also as the others said bf gets so much easier, we are now at 6 months and its going really well, the early days are hard.

Cupcakemummy85 Sun 17-Mar-13 21:11:59

I tried cutting out dairy and I failed miserably. I'm going to talk to the doctor about it and see what she says but I will try to cut it out for good starting tomorrow. Monday is always a good day to start with these things. I just want her to b more settled and not seem to b in so much pain and being so sick all the time. Everything is being covered in sick now is horrible.

kernowmissvyghen Sun 17-Mar-13 23:47:05

Good luck tomorrow! As you say, new week, new start. Will be thinking of you.

abi2790 Mon 18-Mar-13 09:30:50

Hi cupcake I'm sorry you feel like this sad Hope this helps... my ds was exactly the same in the first few weeks and I was so close to giving up but I'm so glad I stuck at it! he's still a sticky baby now but that's nobody's fault and for anybody to make you feel that you are putting your baby through pain is horrible, especially when it's the people that are meant to support you the most. it is your decision on how to feed your baby and you shouldn't feel guilty either way smile

Cupcakemummy85 Tue 19-Mar-13 14:27:32

We went to the doctor today and she said it sounds like reflux and gave us gaviscon and we have to give it to her in a bottle. I'm not 100% convinced its a cows milk intolerance but I'm going to cut dairy out and see what happens. Can I just cut out milk and see how that goes or dies it have to be everything? I don't eat too much of other things that are dairy just perhaps a lot if milk.

stargirl1701 Tue 19-Mar-13 14:39:24

Oh, Cupcake I hope that works. For bf mums it's a bit of a faff I think. DD was very constipated on infant Gaviscon. If it is no better in a week I would advise returning to the GP and asking for Ranitidine.

tiktok Tue 19-Mar-13 14:44:38

Cupcake, glad the doc listened to you smile

You need to try one thing at a time, to be able to ascertain what works/doesn't work.

So do the gaviscon for a while, and then do the dairy-free.

It's the only way of knowing which would be the right approach. If your dd improves and you are doing both the gaviscn and the dairy free, you won't know!

cupcake - have you tried a glass of wine in the evening? A small glass of wine can do wonders for your mental state when it all gets a bit much. One of the best things I was advised is a nice cake and a glass of wine - it made me feel human again and gave me just enough of a boost to keep going through the tough times.

Cupcakemummy85 Wed 20-Mar-13 06:42:57

Stargirl- I'm a bit worried about the constpation thing now as have gaviscon to dd last night and she hasn't done a poo since yesterday. Can it have an effect on her bowels already? When should I go back to the doctor if she is constipated. I don't want to leave her without pooing too long. It was done giving her the gaviscon as my dh gave her a bottle and I actually got to cook dinner and play with dd1 which was amazing.
World- I am indeed having a glass of wine in the evenings, great advise. It really does help to relax.
Tiktok- I am going to give the gaviscon a go first before embarking on a dairy free diet.
The gaviscon helped her sickness but she was still very windy and crying but 1 out of 2 isn't bad I suppose lol

kernowmissvyghen Wed 20-Mar-13 07:17:58

I was told to go back to see the GP in 7 days to assess how things were going. But if you have concerns you could go back sooner of course, I'm sure the GP won't mind.

Constipation is common with infant gaviscon i gather, so it'll be wise to tell the GP if it becomes a problem.

Did you mention trying a dairy-free diet to the GP? What were her thoughts?

Cupcakemummy85 Wed 20-Mar-13 07:23:33

Yes I did she said I could give it a go but not to b too drastic with it, just cut milk out etc. she didnt really go into much detail about it. I'm going to get the tt re-assessed today and the lady who does it is also a lactation consultant so I might b cheeky and ask what she thinks about it. With the symptoms my dd has there is a whole list of what it could b.
she has been uncomfortable and crying all morning so I don't know if that's constipation or wind or something else. It's the crying whilst feeding I hate. So upsetting!

MaMattoo Wed 20-Mar-13 07:31:37

You seem to be having a hard hard time! I am not going to give you any advice, instead shall give you a big hug!

Cupcakemummy85 Wed 20-Mar-13 08:30:05

Aww thank you a hug is very much needed and appreciated smile

Cupcakemummy85 Wed 20-Mar-13 19:54:32

I'm surprised I haven't had a bottle alon with my glass of wine, I have had a whole entire day of crying. This evening has been non stop. Had to go to the doctor for her and he has given us colief, has done nothing. She has cried and cried. I'm at the end of my tether! I want to bang my head against a wall, it would give me relief from the crying. She feeds she cries, she does anything, she cries. The doc said there's no point giving up dairy but I have to try something. I can't carry on like this anymore this is horrible!! My poor dd1 is not getting any attention from me and dd2 is in such a state. What do I do. I've got all the help I can possibly get from every breastfeeding expert.

tiktok Thu 21-Mar-13 09:53:18

Cupcake, what a difficult, distressing time for you all sad

How about a different tack?

I haven't seen anything in your posts to make me think this is a physical problem (eg CMPI, reflux, or similar), though that's not to say these are ruled out....just to say I don't see any evidence of them in your descriptions.

A psychotherapist or mother-infant mental health specialist might explore the notion that your baby is articulating and reflecting emotional distress and you and your baby are in a communicative, linking 'loop' where each of you compounds each other's sadness and confusion. Of course the baby is not distressed on a cognitive level - these responses are not borne of understanding or anything approaching that. But the feelings are real, nonetheless, just as real as yours.

If you have a HV who is open to different ideas, or if you felt your GP was, or if you have an infant mental health service in your area (some places have them) or specialists working in your local CAMHS (Children and Adolescents mental health services), perhaps you can explore this with them?

kernowmissvyghen Thu 21-Mar-13 20:08:36

Oh, Tiktok, I know you are the Mumsnet guru of all things breastfeeding, and so I say this with trepidation, but I think you are wrong!

<waits for sky to fall on head>

My son had cmpi and was identical, exactly the same as the OP describes her daughter. Nobody believed me, either, for 5 long and hellish months. I really think trying to find some kind of mental health "cause" for this problem is not helpful. It would've pushed me over the edge, that's for certain.

Signs and symptoms of my son's cmpi:
Colicky symptoms 24 hrs a day with no daily pattern (ie definitely not 5 o'clock colic)
Gallons of sick (way more than normal posseting)
Lots of painful wind, painful enough to wake baby from a deep sleep with cries of pain
Inconsolable crying virtually all the time, even when coming up for air during feeds
Very frequent feeding - 1.5- 2 hourly
Always reluctant to stop feeding
Poo virtually liquid

All the above are classic signs of a dietary intolerance. It was very, very hard to cope with, but had nothing to do with anyone's mental health!

I am not sure why you say that there is nothing in the OP's posts that indicate a dietary intolerance? As far as I can tell she is experiencing pretty much exactly what I did sad

I feel so terrible disagreeing with Tiktok......

dekari Thu 21-Mar-13 20:17:00

Hi Cupcake - chiming in a bit late, but just wanted to add that it doesn't have to be all or nothing. If you're in two minds still, you could give a small bottle of formula in the evening when your DH is around to pitch in (and you and your DD are both probably at your most stressed/tired). I added a top up at bedtime from 6 weeks (on advice) and expressed at some point in the evening, so I always had a supply of EBM in the fridge/freezer and kept my supply up (if I wanted to drop the bottle). Best of both worlds! x

kernowmissvyghen Thu 21-Mar-13 20:27:11

Oh, and he. never. slept. That was the 2nd worst part (inconsolable crying being the worst). There was no respite.

Cupcake, what we did to survive was every day my DP took DS out of the house for a least an hour, usually in the sling for a walk. He would scream non stop for DP, but since he screamed virtually non stop with me we figured it didn't make much difference. He was still with a parent. That hour a day gave me a breathing space.

Also, he was happy in the bath! He didn't scream in the bath. So we gave him long baths every daysmile

Are you able to give Dd2 to your DH at least twice a day and get out of earshot of the screaming? Without that, I would have been suicidal.

I have no idea if its CMPI, could be... anyway, my ds had this and I tried to cut out ALL dairy from my diet - reading packets etc... I lasted a whole 7 hours blush. Anyway, I decided to just cut out pure milk, cream, obvious sources of dairy, and see what happened. There was a huge improvement in my ds - he stopped screaming but still chucked up buckets of milk BUT as his weight gain was good and he was happy, this was enough for us.

hairclipcloe Thu 21-Mar-13 21:52:27

Hi Op, it sounds to me like it could be silent reflux. Have you done any research on it to see if your baby's symptoms match? My dd has this and the first 3 months were awful, I knew it was reflux pretty early on having suffered with bad acid reflux myself. She would scream and scream in pain, over feed making it worse . If you think it could be this it would be worth going back to your gp and getting something other than gaviscon, it did not work for us at all and so we got ranitidine which has turned things around. Prior to this I was considering swapping to formula as I thought it was my milk until I researched that ff could make it worse in that this is harder to digest, therefore more tummy acid etc. the thought of it getting worse persuaded me to stick at it.

Be cautious about trying too many things at once. If you think she has silent reflux and what you have been given by doc isn't working go back.


tiktok Thu 21-Mar-13 23:48:30

kernow - you are being far more dogmatic than I am!

I am not diagnosing anything or ruling anything in or out - just suggesting another avenue for the OP to explore, given that the medical investigations have not revealed anything physical, and the OP's baby's symptoms vary a lot in intensity.

kernowmissvyghen Fri 22-Mar-13 00:00:28

Sorry, I don't mean to be dogmatic! And I really don't want to pick a fight with Tiktok.

I only posted what I did because when I was in a similar situation to the OP, I would have gone out and thrown myself under a bus if someone had suggested to me it was a psychological / mental health issue - ie that i was causing it. And I worry that the OP might blame herself for what is going on. Particularly since the extended family seem to be doing quite a bit of that already sad

tiktok Fri 22-Mar-13 06:41:30

Not fighting with you, kernow smile

It's a poor show if we can't mention mental health issues and, crucially, the help available for them to someone who has already been down other paths and is still nowhere near resolution and who is despairing of things getting better.

I know it's a sensitive area - but it's worthwhile bringing up especially as the OP has had PND in the past, and is worried about guilt overwhelming her sad

Jims Fri 22-Mar-13 07:11:25

OP if you're anywhere near oxford i'd highly recommend the JR hospital feeding clinic. Sally inch and chloe (retired midwife) are lovely and brilliant. Sally saw me about persistent thrush (still got but long story!) and made me feel much better.
I know you've seen several groups but i found this one much more helpful. They have a drop-in session mon and thurs

Cupcakemummy85 Fri 22-Mar-13 19:24:32

I'm sorry tiktok I'm not quite sure what you meant. The doctor has diagnosed reflux and I can assure u she is in pain. I'm pretty sure it's a mixture if reflux colic and I'm cutting out dairy to see if that helps.
I don't really think my mental health has anything to do with her crying tbh.
I gave her bottles of ebm yesterday and she seemed ok an was feeding at regular times so perhaps that might have to b something I have to do for a while until the colic has gone. Combination feeding is the way forward for us, for now.
One day at a time I think it will have to b.

Cupcakemummy85 Fri 22-Mar-13 19:26:31

I wish I was near Oxford jims. If I was I would go sad but I can't see what more can b done. I've gone to every breastfeeding expert I can find and all their suggestions and help have been great but not for us. Eg block feeding didnt work because dd is so hungry she needs a second breast lol

tiktok Fri 22-Mar-13 23:22:14

cupcake, I hope things go well for you.

To explain: where there is doubt about a physical diagnosis (and your doc is not sure) it is always worth considering that the stress of a baby who is continually upset and unsettled over weeks yet is in good health and thriving may be ramping up the general stress and making it more difficult to calm and soothe...and that can sometimes be helped with therapy/counselling/emotional and psychological support. It is a suggestion to explore, not a 'diagnosis' - who can tell on a talkboard what's really up? smile

Hope you have a good weekend and your dd gets better.

DewDr0p Fri 22-Mar-13 23:31:17

cupcake I'm so sorry to hear you are having such a difficult time. What you have described sounds very much like my experience with ds2 who had silent reflux. It was truly truly awful.

Infant Gaviscon was a bit of a faff until we got in the swing of it but it helped massively - just wanted to add that it took a good week to 10 days before his poor little throat recovered properly and we saw the full effects.

I used to keep him upright as much as possible and another tip is that a dummy can help as part of the reason they want to suck a lot is that it helps keep the stomach contents down (you can't throw up and suck simultaneously)

Hope things start to improve for you both soon.

Cupcakemummy85 Sat 23-Mar-13 11:05:58

Pettyprudence- I was wondering if u could tell me exactly what dairy things you cut from your diet because I'm really struggling, I'm missing cheese and chocolate, things I don't have a lot of but I notice they r gone now. I've successfully cut milk out and I don't have cream really (perhaps a little ice cream ;) ). I'd really like to to try and see if it makes a difference. Anything is worth a try. I just feel like she is so windy and seems to be in pain whilst feeding, perhaps I can make it beter by cutting dairy. It's worth a try.
Dewdrop- I am persevering with the dummy. She takes it when we r out but when we r in the house it's like she knows I'm able to give her the boob and starts gagging on it. I've tried every dummy I can. Dh is shocked at how many we have lol. How many gaviscon did u give ur dc? Dd is on 1 but we thought about giving her 2 sachets.
She just seems unsettled and wants to feed, ALL DAY!!!! One of my nipples is purple she's fed so much this morning lol

Lotta1234 Sat 23-Mar-13 16:03:37

Cupcake my baby had reflux and used to suck on me for hours. And throw up my milk a lot. I found formula and a dummy (recommended by GP) helped a lot. You have to do what's right for you.

Lotta1234 Sat 23-Mar-13 16:05:06

Sorry just seen your post above about dummies. I also found hours out in the pram calmed daughter. I literally took her out everywhere. But not sure how easy that is if you have two.

midori1999 Sat 23-Mar-13 16:22:30

Cupcake, I know you have said you have had the latch checked, but if your daughter seems better, even when she has had your breastmilk in a bottle, then perhaps it is worth getting it checked again. I was repeatedly told when my DD was born (she showed similar symptoms although not really very sicky) that the latch was perfect, but it clearly wasn't as once I altered it, things were much, much better. You may know this anyway, but someone needs to watch a full feed to assess the latch.

Have you seen the tongue tie clinic again yet?

Poppet45 Sat 23-Mar-13 17:30:04

The bottle success makes me wonder about tt but tbh my two have cmpi (dd has tt and lip tie too) and I could have written your post. Ds was never treated and his first 16 months were so hard. I'm not sure my mental health or marriage hace ever fully recovered. Because dd was 3 months prem she has many medical contacts and her cmpi silent reflux has been addressed. Gaviscon didnt help but an antacid (omeprazole) and me eliminating dairy and soya have given all of us our lives back. The diet sounds much harder than it actually is the baby weight has melted away and with planning and label checking you can still have cakes biccies and chocolate. Cant recommend it enough. Pm and i'd be happy to help. I applaud tiktok for voicing other ideas but from my experience i found i cultivated far far greater resources for calming and soothing ds than dd... I had no other option.

Sorry cupcake, only just noticed your message. I just cut out milk, cream, custard, ice cream and yogurt. I still ate cheese and butter because the CMP levels in those are VERY low (as is homemade yogurt but shop bought they seem to chuck in some extra milk powder at the end of the process). So i had to drink black tea and stop having cereal for breakfast, but I would still have a cheese sandwich at lunch. I still ate chocolate grin because its an intolerance not allergy and tbh if chocolate had caused a reaction in ds I'm not sure what we would have done.....

I cut out what I could tolerate cutting out (sanity wise). I don't know what we would have done if it hadn't worked though.

It can take about 2 weeks to notice a difference but I found and improvement in ds by day 3. I accidentally ate ice cream one evening and ds spent the next 24 hours screaming after feeds so I knew that cutting it out was definitely making a difference.

As I said before, he didn't stop chucking up gallons of milk but he did stop screaming and comfort sucking and as his weight gain was very good I decided that we had reached a happy compromise (ish - the laundry was a nightmare!)

I eventually used oatley milk for cereal and cooking. Once ds got to about 1 I tried him with soya products and he has been fine with these. DS is also fine with (most) cheeses and butter (he is 2 now) and chocolate hmm

jessebuni Mon 25-Mar-13 07:44:39

Wow I'm glad you've had such a response to this. I had problems with my first baby Breastfeeding. He seemed to drink loads then burp and throw up literally the whole feed! I felt awful! I lived in the middle of nowhere and never got to see the doctor about it but fortunately after a while it started to improve. The older he got the better he handled feeding. He was also very windy. Looking back he probably had a reflux problem because he did occasionally throw up still after we stopped Breastfeeding at 7-8months. But with every passing month from around 2 months he improved a little on the breast and threw up less. I am currently bfing my daughter (9months) she hasn't appeared to have this problem however I did notice that the day after I drank a lot of milk she was sick and windy and grumpy. I tested the theory again and she again was upset after I drank lots of milk. So didn't seem to have a problem with me having yogurts or cheese just drinking actual milk so I try not to have too much. As for the lack of support you've been receiving in your family, its horrible! My family were very supportive to me, my mother struggled to bf me her first and gave up but she did it with both my younger brothers and was very supportive to me. You need someone like that. My husbands family were horrid! They acted like I was selfish for Breastfeeding and constantly said things like "well that's what happens when you decide to breastfeed" it was so frustrating. Hopefully between the doctors advice and time things will begin to improve for you. But whether or not you breastfeed is not causing your child pain and not likely to make a huge difference to the reflux problem. You have to just be honest with yourself and do what is best for you and your baby not anyone else. Everyone else should be supporting your decisions. Baby's often get constipation, for a few days this isn't really a problem but beyond that then speak to your doctor for advice.

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