Any ebf-ers about?

(35 Posts)
FredWorms Sun 10-Feb-13 23:08:48

Inspired by another thread I wondered whether there are any about who have fed for years like myself (DS is 6.7)?

The thing is, these threads always seem to get so political and I'd quite like to ignore all that and just talk about it a bit. (Makes me sound like a journo, I'm not).

I think DS may have stopped bf now, I realised this earlier today, and I think it's interesting that I'm not particularly sad, unlike many seem to be. It's been such a long, slow weaning, years fgs!, that I haven't really noticed.

cheddarcheeselover Mon 11-Feb-13 00:28:03

Hello! I know what you mean about just wanting to talk about it without a 'debate'. I bf dd1 till she was almost 4, through my pg with dd2 and tandem with dd2 for a while, still feeding dd2 now and am pg again.
I think I'm probably heading for at least a decade of bfing by the time they're all finished.
I dont remember dd1s last feed, she wound down sooo slowly, one day I just realised she hadn't asked for ages, and she never asked again.

MaMaPo Mon 11-Feb-13 00:32:48

I thought you meant 'exclusively breast-feeding' and was definitely shock to see you refer to your 6-year-old child!

Midori1999 Mon 11-Feb-13 00:45:54

My DD is only 19 months, but I suppose even that young age is considered 'extended' breastfeeding by some.

I have to admit, I quite enjoy BF most of the time, but I do it for DD really and I suspect she will continue for quite some time yet, as she loves nursing. I don't think I'll feel sad whatever age she weans at though, as it will be her choice when she stops and that is good enough for me.

SirBoobAlot Mon 11-Feb-13 00:58:58

MaMaPo was there really a need for that comment? If it wasn't what you were expecting the thread to be about, don't post and move on... Sheesh.

DS self weaned in October just before he was three. I didn't really feel anything at the time, but have felt sad since blush I think that's partially because he may well be my only child due to health reasons, though. He's very cute about it now, he remembers breastfeeding, and if he sees another baby having milk he talks about it, then says very sweetly, "But I don't have milk any more, because I drank it all!". He also just one day didn't ask for it any more, so no big drama about it. I kind of wish I knew when his last feed had been, but at the same time, glad it was so casual for him, and that he made the choice himself smile

constantnamechanger Mon 11-Feb-13 01:13:49

I have 3 under 5 - the oldest has self weaned - the 3 year old and 7 week old nurse together.

I refuse to push any of them away. So I feed them.

AbbyCat Mon 11-Feb-13 01:28:47

Am not an ebf, but hoping to be this time round! My ds self weaned at 15m when i was pg with dd. I still feel sad about it and had dreams of continuing and tandem nursing. (Although am now glad I'm not tandem nursing as I think I would find it too physically draining). He used to pat my boobs and ask or milk but refuse to drink once latched and i felt so inadequate for not being able to give him what he wanted. I even tried offering his some after dd was born but he looked at me like i was a crazy loon for flapping my boob at him and offering milk! Dd is 4m now and I have no intention of weaning till she's ready!

Off to bed but just joining the thread. DS will be 3 next week and is a very enthusiastic feeder, brings his toys, and has even been known to ask other people if they want some too. smile

EauRouge Mon 11-Feb-13 08:26:43

Yes, I don't know why I got caught up in that debate either hmm

I haven't gone on that long, DD1 is only 4yo. Not sure if she will or not, she's already started losing her sucking reflex sometimes it's like sticking my boob in a Dyson. I can't see myself feeding a 6.7yo but never say never, eh? My HV were furious when I refused to rule out breastfeeding an 8 yo. I probably wouldn't but it was worth it just to piss them off!

Lol at Baroness' DS- that's lovely that he wants to share! grin

MissTapestry Mon 11-Feb-13 10:46:56

I took Mamapo's comment to mean that she was shock to think of EXCLUSIVELY bf a 6yo, so no solids, just bf! Maybe crossed wires?

Mama1980 Mon 11-Feb-13 10:49:00

Hi I breast fed ds1 until he was 4 then he stopped naturally no fuss no nothing I have ds2 in nicu at the moment but am planning to do the same with him.

Don't know if I count - DS is 2.6 and still BFing morning and evening. He's slowing down a lot of his own accord though, and sometimes refuses milk as he is far too busy grin But I have no plans to 'stop' him and will carry on for as long as he wants to.

BrainGoneAwol Mon 11-Feb-13 11:10:32

Ds is only little, so I'm not really supposed to be on here wink, but wanted to say how much admiration I have for your dedication - I don't think I could do it - and also how sweet some of the dc comments are! "I drank it all"!

NoHaudinMaWheest Mon 11-Feb-13 12:09:26

This is good. I have been wanting to share my experiences but not in an AIBU bun fight. (I have made myself a rule never to post in AIBU).

I am no longer bfing as my Dcs are 16 and 12. I fed Ds until he was 3.5 including being pg with Dd. The day Dd was born he decided to stop. He had one sip and then said no. I'm not sure if he felt it was for the baby or if he didn't like the taste of colostum.
I fed Dd until she was just over 9. She didn't wean naturally either. I had had a hysterectomy and couldn't climb into her high sleeper bed. I offered to feed her in my bed but she said that the whole point was being able to feed and feel snuggly and then go straight to sleep. When quite a while later I could climb up again she only wanted a cuddle though if I remember rightly she stroked my breasts for a while before going on to just cuddles. Now she doesn't want me in her bed at all.

constantnamechanger Mon 11-Feb-13 12:15:02

brain it gets easier with time.

BiscuitCrumbsInBed Mon 11-Feb-13 12:23:29

I'm still bf my 18mo, does that qualify as 'extended'?! I saw a few of you on the AIBU thread and was so impressed by the calm responses by the bf'ers to some people who were really being quite unpleasant.

My DD loves feeding and so do I - I can't imagine her deciding to stop for a while. She has a nasty cough today and is snuggled up on my lap right now having a lovely feed, cuddle and snooze, and I'm just glad I can give the physical and emotional comfort she needs. She's still a baby, I'm her mum, that's my job and I love it!

EauRouge Mon 11-Feb-13 14:35:28

I think I'm going to leave the AIBU thread now, it's just going over the same points again and again. It was a good debate at one stage though and I hope think there was some food for thought in there.

Brain it definitely does get easier with time! It's effortless at this stage. Also you can be away from them for longer periods of time so you can go back to work or the pub. And it comes into its own as a parenting tool. Everything is fixed with boob grin

It's great that people feel comfortable enough to share their experiences here, it's lovely to read about older children breastfeeding. smile

TepidCoffee Tue 12-Feb-13 08:49:22

I refuse to post my experiences on that kind of thread and expose myself to the actually quite upsetting and gross insinuations made by some posters. Ignore, ignore, ignore. You'll never change their minds.

I'm still feeding my 2.4yo DS and am 38 weeks with number two. I will be shocked if we don't end up tandem feeding because even though he feeds much less frequently than he did even six months ago, he is still very vocal about needing to bf when he needs to.

I've actually found it pretty horrible feeding through pregnancy - lots of tenderness and some periods where I've felt an actual aversion - but he's telling me he still needs it and I want to respect that. The extended bf'ing myth that pisses me off the most is the one saying its all about the mother past a certain stage. It's really bloody not!

And breathe grin.

EauRouge Tue 12-Feb-13 09:37:33

Haaaa, 'all about the mother'- I wonder if those people have ever met or even bothered to ask an ExtBF why she does it? There's so much ignorance but that doesn't seem to stop people stating their opinion (or getting opinion and fact confused). Actually the reduced risk of breast cancer and ovarian cancer is a big incentive, so I am also thinking about myself.

I also found pregnancy a bit tough but as soon as DD2 was born it really improved. The first year or so was lovely, they would hold hands and gaze at each as they fed <melts>. Now they just hit each other hmm

TepidCoffee Tue 12-Feb-13 09:52:08

Thanks for the reassurance, Eau.

I suspect that DS1 will be the jealous type, so there is some selfishness in carrying on as I hope it will ease the transition for him. There is a lot of tantrumming in our house at the moment, I couldn't cope with too much more!

EauRouge Tue 12-Feb-13 09:55:20

Oh yeah, it definitely helped the transition. I don't know how I would have coped otherwise!

I've been asked to look after a friend's DS while she's in labour and I'm a bit worried about how I will cope if he cries because normally I just solve everything by BF. I was half-hoping she would say 'just BF him if you need to' grin Obv I would never do it without her permission. Apparently he falls asleep in the car so I can just take him for a drive if he gets upset.

Lostonthemoors Tue 12-Feb-13 09:58:11

I'm still a positive beginner - feeding 19 month old DS. I'm hoping to keep going until he is at least 2 and then, who knows? I want to let the ultimate decision of when to stop be entirely his.

I think it's lovely you are still feeding - you sound like a very caring mum.

TerrariaMum Tue 12-Feb-13 18:58:48

TepidCoffee, it is always nice to hear that someone else does the bfing through pregnancy and has had the aversion feeling. I'm about 30 wks with DC2 and 2yo DD still bfs. Sometimes I have had to grit my teeth to get on with it, but the sweet times make it worth it.

Lostonthemoors, good for you.

NoHaudinMaWheest Tue 12-Feb-13 21:32:02

TepidCoffee. Yes I had forgotten about the tenderness of feeding while pg. Although my Ds was about 1 yr old than yours when dd was born he was still very attached to bfeeding. I really thought that I was going to tandem feed but as I posted above he decided for himself to stop. Mind you there were lots of tantrums when I wished heartily that he still was.

PirateHat Tue 12-Feb-13 21:47:16

I haven't looked at the AIBU thread but it was reading one of those years ago that made me see it from the mother and child's point of view, rather than it being one of those weird things you see on Channel 4 docs. So don't think it's pointless to put your point across, plenty of lurkers on AIBU.

I'm now feeding 2.7yo. He's bloody obsessed with it and feeds like 7mo. But he has health problems and I've seen the way his monitor stabalises as soon as he starts feeding. And he's skinny and goes off food easily. Plus sometimes I need to make phonecalls without him screaming in the background.

I hate that I find myself (needlessly) justifying it to medical people or other mothers because I do feel more self conscious about it as he's getting older. My ex is putting pressure on me to stop as well.

FredWorms Tue 12-Feb-13 23:29:55

I think unless you have fed for a (comparitively) long time it is hard to understand. For me (and DS) it's a barely conscious process, I don't think about it much at all and I'm sure he doesn't either. We never talk about it, to each other or anyone else. We don't avoid the topic, it just doesn't come up, and why would it? From his point of view it's like, i dunno, breathing.

I remember watching that (famous amongst MNers) documentary with the woman feeding the 7-8yo girl and finding it a bit odd, and now I'm nearly there myself!

I wonder whether the weaning/teeth/latch thing is correct? DS has lost his 2 front teeth, feeds more and more infrequently (about twice a week now), and quite often makes this sort of windy slurp noise (we both giggle) which would suggest he's losing the latch? I think I might be a teensy bit relieved, I never wanted to force the issue but I was beginning to wonder whether at some point I might have to (like when he leaves for uni or something wink )

olgaga Tue 12-Feb-13 23:42:51

My DD self-weaned at 3yrs 3 months. I never set out to BF but she was a tiny 4lb4oz, is now a strapping 12 year old (taller than me) and absolutely wonderful.

It was incredibly hard at first, but I'm so pleased I managed it. Looking back I wouldn't have done it any other way.

I was pretty amazed at the attitude of some NHS staff though. We had to take her in for a hernia op when she was 3 months old. I couldn't feed her for a few hours before her op. I remember the nurse saying to me "Ain't she got a dummy? Poor little thing..." angry

After the op the consultant told a nurse "Don't let her feed that baby!" as though I was some kind of weirdo...

When we got back downstairs to the ward I had to go and express milk down the toilet sink as I was about to explode. Thankfully a kind nurse came looking for me and told me to ignore the consultant - my baby needed feeding!

Family members told me she'd be "clingy". Never the case.

Just do it your way!

showtunesgirl Tue 12-Feb-13 23:48:36

Well I've been a bit shocked as to what some people count as being ExtBF, eg anything over six months. hmm

DD is now 14 months and it's actually now a pleasure now that she no longer needs it / requests it all the time so that when she does request it, we just get all snuggly.

BuffyFairyTopsTheTree Tue 12-Feb-13 23:49:28

I'm not an ebf-er as DD is only 16m but I think we're heading that way. DD loves her milk and asks for it at least 1/2 dozen times a day when I'm not working. She usually asks by patting my boobs and saying 'more'! grin

It's very interesting hearing the viewpoints of those who have done natural term weaning. I read some of that AIBU thread. It's a shame there is such a lot of ignorance about breastfeeding out there. So many myths to dispel.

Startail Wed 13-Feb-13 00:17:25

DD2 fed until we both decided that 9 was old enough.

She was going to give up when she started school, somehow it didn't happen.

I've posted a fair bit over the years, so I guess all I want to say here is your not alone.

I had a couple of DFs who fed to 5 and stopped only because of becoming PG or needing sleep. (And I've had PMs from others)

DD2 sussed that letting Mum sleep increased the likely-hood of continuing BFing long before then.

In fact I guess that's the main conclusion I've reached about ENF, it's not the Mother's choice. We choose not to say no, but DD chose to continue.

It was her who worked out how to breath and not bite as she stopped being a baby. It was her who sussed when not to ask in public, I never told her not to.

Strangest of all, she instinctively new how many days she could miss and still start again.

BFing was her special thing, the secure base from which she put on her cool confident act for school.

DD1 has a hug, DD2 fed it's really that simple.

So, I often read about older children who have a feed mornings and evenings, but how many of you have voracious feeders, like PirateHat's DS?
DS will feed 6 - 8 times a day and still wants milk if he wakes in the night. He'll be 3 on Sunday.

About a fortnight ago he went feeding loopy and was asking every hour or so day and night. Then he had a slight temperature and was sick the once, and then chicken pox appeared. It was so mild as to be barely diagnosable. He only had 8 spots, 4 of which were just pin pricks. Then I realised why he'd been feeding so much. I had it really badly as a child so he'd benefited from my immunity.

Also makes me wonder how many times he hasn't been ill, but would have been, IYSWIM? The playgroup actually commented that he was rarely ill compared to the other children, and that even when they all had colds and snotty noses he didn't seem to pick it up. Mind you, he also eats a lot of fruit. smile

leedy Wed 13-Feb-13 20:17:46

My DS1 "drank it all" as well, I thought it was very cute. He self-weaned (with a bit of a nudge, I was pregnant and it was getting ouchy/supply was tanking) at 2.5. DS2 is only 3 months, so no idea how long we'll go for!

TheYamiOfYawn Wed 13-Feb-13 22:51:57

I'm tandem nursing DS (3.4) and DD (6.3). DD is slowly weaning, though. She goes for days without feeds now, but has been a milk monster for most of her life. She asks for more cuddles now, which is lovely in a different way.

EauRouge Wed 13-Feb-13 23:06:52

4 yo DD1 would feed like a newborn if I let her. I'm trying to get her to cut down and it's going OK. I've no problem feeding 4 or 5 times a day but the constant pestering was driving me nuts.

She's definitely not one of those morning-and-evening children that everyone else seems to have!

Startail Thu 14-Feb-13 00:28:00

As I remember morning and evening and sometimes after lunch if we were watching TV after lunch.

But not continually like before she started on solids. I would have gone mad and DD1 would have too.

By school age it was weekend mornings and all evenings and eventually evenings for a few nights then not bother for a few or the odd Sunday morning (she dances on Saturdays).

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