Really want to breastfeed(28 Posts)
Dc3 is due in 6 weeks ( never attempted to bf dc1&2) and I'm really keen to give it a go but I seem to only ever hear horror stories about it being painful, relentless, exhausting etc. even on here. Is it really that bad? Beginning to wonder if it will just be easier to pop a bottle in!! Someone please post something that doesn't make me want to burn my breast feeding bras and fill the cupboards with tins of formula.....
I'm currently sat bf dc2. I breastfed dc1 for nearly 5 months I had NO pain. No mastitis no cracked nipples.
Dc2 os 18 months and we're still going strong. I had 1.5 days of discomfort before a lactation consultant spotted her tongue tie and snipped it. Since then no problems.
Shes never had a bottle. No sterilising. Itscost me nothing. Its amazing.
No - it's not bad at all. People who find bf easy are generally told they're being "smug" so they keep quiet! I found it a cinch with DD1, a little more work with DD2 but easily sorted.
I found it difficult initially but just think of the pros- not having to buy formula and sterilise bottles, being able to feed lying down, not having to get up in the night to make up bottles / feed (assuming to co sleep and feed lying down), being able to soothe baby instantly (most of the time)... Being able to bf to sleep (now I have a non sleeping toddler I realise how valuable that was!). Of course there's all the other health benefits etc, but more important to me was the fact that it made my life easier!
BFing was REALLY hard work for me and DS for the first 6 weeks, until he had his tongue tie snipped and we both knew what we were doing. Then it became the easiest thing in the world and we fed until I was 4 months pregnant with DD and he was 17mo old.
I've had a number of friends for whom BFing has been hard, but then it has been so easy for a lot of friends too.
I think the important thing is getting help early. I didn't find the NHS to be particularly helpful, but there is a lot of help available here, from the NCT/BFN/LLL etc. I'm 37 weeks now so, even if feeding is hard this time, I'm hoping that I'll be better at getting help quicker.
Forget all the health benefits, it was far, far easier to just whip up my top up than, I imagine, to make up formula and sterilise bottles etc. It is the lazier option!
I am bfing my firstborn. First go at it in the hour or so after birth was unsuccessful, but we'd had an unplanned Csection so both tired and a bit drugged. I did skin to skin with her for the next 5 hours, and she got it - we fed off and on all the way through her first 12 hours. Ever since, we haven't looked back. No pain, great weight gain, no infections - it has been wonderful.
Read upon here and the Kellymom website about how to maximise your chances of success (including people/numbers to call for support). Find out about local support groups. And go for it!
Best of luck!
I am breast feeding dc2, he is 12 wo.
I bf dc1 for 11 months. It wasn't easy with dc1 but that's because I had no idea what I was doing! Once I discovered how to bf and what to expect it got lots easier.
This time around it had been as easy as pie and I am sure it has to do with knowing what to do. I am sure that this is not everybody's experience, but it was mine.
I thought was a natural thing, so it would come naturally. It didn't come naturally!
Kellymom has great advice and info about breastfeeding, and I would advise that you make sure you get really good post natal care and are helped with latching etc in the early days. It does require some sitting around literally feeding for hours, but tbh, I quite liked the enforced sitting!
Best of luck!
I BFed all 3 of mine for around 8 months each. Had a little bit of soreness with DS1 for about a week, but in the grand scheme of things it wasn't bad, no cracks, no bleeding, wasn't any more exhausting than FF would have been for me (XH not very involved, especially at night!) It was just easy, simple, free and I knew my DCs were getting what they needed, growing well, barely ever ill etc.
Mine never wanted bottles so it did mean that I was the only one who could feed them until they were old enough to take a cup, but again, no-one else would have done it on a regular basis anyway, so I didn't lost out on scores of willing babysitters who would happily have FFed them while I went out on the town!
Like LTJ says, I would never usually make much noise about it, because people think you're being smug or being disrespectful to mums who can't/won't BF, so as with most things, if there isn't a problem, you won't find most people shouting about it, except on the
bunfight FF/BF threads.
I BF DS1 without any problems until he was 6mo. Yes, the first couple of weeks are a bit awkward, until both you and the baby get the hang of it. And yes it's a bit painful (even if the latch is correct) in those first couple of weeks - I just took painkillers and a lot of advice!
DS2 was a bit more difficult, as I got a nasty bout of mastitis out of nowhere, but I BF him exclusively for 4.5 months. I then had to stop abruptly as I had to be put on some medication which was incompatible with BF. I can tell you OP, I miss BF so much, not just for the closeness and the health benefits to DS2, but because FF is such an absolute faff. The sterilisation, the getting the temp right, the making sure you're not out of formula. Switching to FF also did bugger all for his sleeping, he still wakes up once or twice a night, as he did when BF. Except now I have to get up. So, all told, I'd BF again in a second. Just keep in mind that the first couple of weeks can be a bit tough, but it gets so much easier. And if you pump, other people can feed your baby as well, so no need to feel restricted.
Bf CAN also be easy. After the initial sore nipples I had no other problems with bf dc1 and dc2 and am now 5 weeks into bf dc3.
Just don't listen to people saying:
- you need to keep bf babys onto some kind of feeding routine.
- people saying if baby does no regular intervals between feeds that means you do not have good or good enough or enough milk.
- people saying baby will sleep better with formula
Ime bf is:
- easy, no fiddling with bottles, water temperature or powder or steralisation anxieties
- easy, no constipation problems which i often read in ff babys
- easy, i can feed anywhere and need no organisation
- easy, fussing baby is soothed once he can suck from breast
- easy, we cosleep at night. I wake up for 10 minutes , he drinks and we both fall asleep again. No walking around at night in desparate attempts to wind and settle baby again after a feed
- wonderful. I adore to see him falling a sleep at the breast and smell his milk perfume..
Basically... Bf is perfect for e just because i am lazy as hell! :-)
Ps: went back to work at 6mo as dcs then ate food when i was not in. They never wanted bottles, no bm nor formula.
I have bf 2dc (still feeding no2) and have never had any pain or cracked nipples. Both latched immediately after birth and I have found bf to make life much easier! It means you can sit down whenever you want. You never have to wind the baby. You never have to walk about jiggling a baby to get it to sleep. You can feed and browse the Internet as you have a hand free ( you don't when bottle feeding). Night feeds are a breeze- baby falls asleep feeding and you put them back down. You can take your baby anywhere and be sure they won't cry as you can just put a boob in their mouth ( I like eating out in nice restaurants so his is a big
Yes, I think it's very true that the boards are full of problems. But they are the people who need help and want to ask questions. There's no need for a thread that says "I'm fine" is there? Also, a lot of people will have a few issues early on, but then feed for months (or even years) with no problems.
I have fed both DD's with only very minimal problems - bit of engorgement with DD1 and a bit of a lack of confidence. That's it. Have saved a fortune and it's easy as pie!
Is that a good postive story?
Oops posted too soon..... that's a big plus for me! I would get some lanisoh cream though- even though I never got "sore" nipples at the start, they were a bit tender with the constant feeding and the cream helped.
Breastfeeding is hard at the beginning. Not least because motherhood is hard enough when you are new to it, with out the relentlessness of breastfeeding on demand and the significant odds you find between expections and reality.
However, if you can just crack on regardless and push through it, it is the easiest way of 'managing' your baby and keeping him/her content at all times, not to mention all the other benefits.
Sadly, people who set out really wanting to breastfeeding often give up before the easy bit and have the worst of both worlds. Relentless feeding at the beginning, followed by the faff of bottles around 4 months when bfing becomes easy peasy.
Thanks all, I can feel myself relaxing already
I know it will take some time and getting used to but just wanted to know its not all doom and gloom
I think what makes it hard for new mothers is they set their expectations so high due to our individualistic society (so we are not really a part of the day to day lives of other mothers and have no real experience before our own motherhood) and images in the media of what is a perfect mother.
I think if you want to bf, the most important thing is to think 'I will bf this baby' and keep that mindset through any potential issues, rather than 'I will try to bf this baby' and have bottles and formula in your kitchen cupboard 'for emergencies'. There may well be times when it gets tricky or painful or frustrating and you just need to keep going and trying different things in order to keep bfing. Once you've cracked it, it's so easy. And you can go out without packing bottles or worrying that if you get caught up somewhere you'll run out of milk.
I found it incredibly difficult - cracked nipples, milk blister, infective mastitis and blood poisoning...
I missed it so much I relactated after an 8 week break to recover from above.
Go for it! Just be prepared. Pop the helpline numbers up on your fridge. Find out where your local bf cafe is and pop along before you give birth. Read 'The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding'. Buy some Lansinoh nipple cream and hydrogel breast pads.
When it works, it is amazing!
It's definitely not all doom and gloom! as Longtalljosie says above, those who find BF easy don't always shout about it. 2 good friends who gave birth around the same time as me were unable to BF so I don't go on about how straightforward and satisfying I have found it, that would just be rude.
I was prepared for it to be difficult - I went to the workshops, recited 'nose to nipple', practised the holds, stocked up on Lansinoh... and then DD just knew what to do immediately and has by and large just got on and done it ever since.
In 7 months I've used the Lansinoh twice and that was only because I thought I should at the beginning.
Don't get me wrong - we've had a few
blocked ducts ups and downs but nothing like the horror stories you might hear otherwise. It really can be simple!
I'm BF 6 week old DS. We had a rocky start as he didn't want to suck, but as soon as my milk came in on day three he was fine (I think he just couldn't be bothered to exert all that energy just for a tiny bit of colostrum). I was a bit sore for a couple of weeks but it wasn't painful, my nipples were just a bit sensitive and I couldn't bear anything rubbing against them in between feeds so wore a nursing bra with breast pads ALL the time.
DS sleeps beautifully so no problems there, although we did have one bad night when he just wanted to suck and suck and I got so sore. He wasn't swallowing much so it wasn't hunger, I think he just wanted the comfort but I was in tears with exhaustion and the soreness. DH eventually took him away for a bit to let me have a rest and said that DS would just have to cry for half an hour as that was preferable to me having a total meltdown (which was pretty imminent). Apparently as soon as DH left the room DS went to sleep. He slept for three hours and after that was really for a proper feed, which I could handle as I'd had a break. I guess the lesson there is that if it is all getting too much, then it really is worth just handing the baby over to someone else for a bit to give you a break and the baby will cope. We've never had another night like that (so far!).
I'm now starting to think about giving expressed milk in a bottle occasionally so that I can go out sometimes and so far that it definitely more faff than BF.
you can totally do it - sometimes it goes without a hitch ans sometimes there are hiccups. just keep a bookmark on kellymom and prepare to do it ALL the time. making sure you do it ALL the time is usually the way to succeed. don't expect it to be like ff - there are no schedules, no measures, no timings - just stick baby on for pretty much any reason under the sun, live on the sofa for the first few weeks, take baby everywhere and you will be fine.
its brill - especially for slobs and disorganised people like me
I found it hard for about 5/6 days and day 4 I really thought "ARGH! this sucks". But I knew from here that it would get easier and I'm so glad I persevered.
I give my DS an expressed bottle of milk in the evenings but Bfing is so much easier, especially lying down to feed
I second all the previous posters who have said about it being the lazy option. Totally! They wake in the night, you pop a boob in, they fall asleep. No faffing with bottles.
And it's freeeeeeeee!
And the snuggly warm cuddles are just the Best Thing Ever.
I miss it.
EBFing my PFB who is now 20 weeks old. I found the first 3 days difficult but once my milk came in, things improved remarkably. Definitely have lansinoh cream on hand and use it straight away. It's miracle stuff! Sore breasts are par for the course cos there's actual rubbing and friction and moisture on a sensitive part of the body. I just had to remember to "suck it up princess".
I'd say that at about week 3 I realised that BF isn't something I'd have to 'endure' like a lot pregnancy stuff, and I started to rather enjoy it. I often think how glad I am to avoid all that endless faffing about with bottles. I have a few for expressing but am actually relieved that DP isn't overly fussed with giving them. Wherever I go, there's always a ready supply of food on tap.
I guess one downside is having no idea of exactly what time DS is likely to want a feed, but after a couple of weeks it does become more predictable and you can have a rough idea of timing once the day has started.
I'd add... Make sure you're totally happy with the advice/guidance given to you.
As a newbie you have no idea how it will/should feel, or if your experience is the right experience. I distinctly remember answering with "I GUESS it's going well and I GUESS it doesn't hurt" (it was going well, but it did hurt so therefore had potential to turn to not going well).
If it doesn't feel right, then keep asking. After all MWs etc know what to look for, but it's not their boob on the receiving end. First couple of days I asked every single MW to observe and offer advice. It's the same with any new skill. Some people have a better knack of being able to communicate on your wavelength. One particular MW showed me the TRUE correct latch with no pain. Once I'd experienced how that sensation felt it As amazing. I wouldn't say it's totally painless at the start but it was bearable.
Good luck and hope all goes well for you and your LO.
I love bfing my 14 wk old DS. It's an absolute pleasure.
I would say:
Use the Lansinoh. The first week my nips were sore but not unbearable, then they were fine.
You can't bf too often in the early days/weeks. The evening cluster feeding took me by surprise but if you stop fighting it, it just becomes part of your day.
If you think there is a problem, speak up. Find the experts, don't just assume the mws/HVs know everything
or anything. My DS's tongue tie was only cut at 11 wks and we had had weeks of poor weight gain. I had to fight my corner and trust my instincts.
However, that's the only problem I've had - no mastitis, cracked nips or anything like that.
Nothing beats looking into your DC's eyes while bf or seeing them come away with a blissful smile and milky chops. Good luck, it will work out for you!
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