Mumsnet Talk

Hello all, I've been around a few blocks by now, and realise I'm clutching at straws, but maybe someone can help? 15 mo ds has been self weaning for about 2 weeks now. I was in denial initially but know its for real :-( . I'm actually distraught. I feel it's too early (for him and me), and can't understand why?! It seems like he has forgotten how to latch. I work FT, so have not been all available to him ifkwim? In one way, I feel this is the cause. But I am wondering if there is anything I can do?? Ideally I would like to be breastfeeding am and pm. My milk supply has really dropped, so I started fenugreek today, and also expressing ( I got nothing btw), so if he cannot latch on, I would still like to give him bm.
So- does anyone think its possible that he may latch on again? Or if not, do u think I can up my supply in order to give him a few oz bm per day in a cup? If u have read this far, I thank u!!!!

This could well be a nursing strike rather than self weaning as self weaning is rare for a child under 2.

Will read the post again and see if I can make some practical suggestions.

You are doing the right thing in maintaining your supply by expressing - definitely keep that up, which will also protect you from blocked ducts/mastitis.

These things can help:

Feed baby in their sleep - most effective technique

If that doesn't work, try:

Mostly nursing strikes resolve but you need to keep offering gently, calmly and with no pressure over a few days.
Sing/rock skin to skin and see if this leads to latching
Feed in an unusual setting - like a warm bath
Do a position you don't usually do - like baby sitting facing towards you
Dance/bounce standing skin to skin and see if that leads to latching

I think RL support might be helpful. You could call LLL helpline in the morning.

I know you are upset because of the sudden stopping of feeding, but you can properly get it back on track and you've done your DS so much good by feeding him to this point.

Hth

Thank u for your fast response! I will try anything!! I know that self weaning is unusual at this age, and I really want the best for him, fingers crossed!!
Further suggestions/ opinions most welcome!

I know you will probably be knackered with a baby and a job, but the more bf you can do at night the more your milk supply responds. Even if it's just expressing for 10 mins, it will help I think. Good luck.

Please keep us posted op - you sound very committed to bf so I am sure you will find a way to get it starts again.

xx

You might find this useful:

http://www.lalecheleague.org/faq/strike.html

Sorry cant link properly as on phone

Sorry for my ignorance, but when you say weaning, do you mean having first solids? Or do you mean already on solids but leaving the breast?

Usually means giving up bm entirely at this age.

And as said before on the thread true self weaning very rate before 2. A temporary refusal of all bm is likelier at 15 months and is called a nursing strike.

Rare not rate

Thanks- I will try night expressing, as he won't latch even during sleep.
I always thought strikes lasted days, not weeks? Surely, 2 weeks and no signs if it stopping is not a good sign? Although I do think he misses it, as he keeps putting his hand down my top , but just won't latch!! It's so frustrating!!!
Ladies, thanks for the support- it means a lot!!

Thx for explaining. I take my hat off! I enjoyed breast feeding but could not have managed for much longer than I did! (about 9mo). Sorry, obvs i have no advice therefore, but Good luck! X

Just re-read.
I would be delighted if it was a strike
Gonna keep gently offering ( the rejection is harsh though). Been in tears a few times now

Thanks Sausage

I am speaking from a position of considerable ignorance (bf a 13mo but no other qualifications) so feel free to ignore if this isn't useful, but could it be something to do with teething? My DS seems to temporarily "forget" how to latch whenever his teeth move, and the oral discomfort also makes him less interested for a few days - if something major like several molars are coming through, could this be a factor?

Completely understand how you must feel- hope it resolves soon!

Kerno teething pain can trigger nursing strikes I think, so you have good instincts!

Mam if you look through the stories on the LLL site, one mother describes a strike that lasted 18 days and then baby came back to bf

Big hugs to you mam

Asmy you have been very kind- I will keep u posted.

Thanks too Kerno. He is teething at the minute. I'm just worried because its going on too long

So I've just read about a 30 day nursing strike!!! Feeling more hopeful now....

Good! Please keep us posted! If it is a nursing strike keeping on offering to feed calmly in different settings will resolve it in time.

Just wanted to add my support.
My dd1 self weaned at 20 months (or nursing strike which led to weaning), I was 5 months pregnant with dd2 and I think my milk was low supply or tasted funny maybe (from other peoples experiences). Anyway, I just let it happen as I was willing to tandem nurse but not totally keen on the idea

I still remember very keenly the upset of offering the breast and her not be interested

Big hugs. I hope it's resolved soon, let us know.

Kellymom has some good info on nursing strikes - it does sound like that rather than self-weaning.

Have you had him checked by a GP? My DS went on a partial strike at 13 months (he'd feed to sleep, but no other time). He seemed fit & well, but it turned out he had a bad ear & chest infection, then went on to get a D&V bug and conjunctivitis too. I think it was the antibiotics which resolved it in the end; the strike lasted 12 days. Ear infections can often cause strikes as they make feeding uncomfortable.

My supply dropped loads (I didn't really manage to express much) but it seemed to recover quickly once the strike was over.

Thank u both. Expressing isn't working, but I acknowledge that if I can get him feeding again it should be ok.. He took a mouthful of boob today, no sucking but a start at least. Can't tell u how happy I was at not getting rejected! Gosh, I know how sad this sounds to others who don't understand, and I really appreciate your support. I will keep you all posted one way or the other!

Meant to say, I think I will get him checked by Gp. In reflecting, this happened just after MMR, and I know he took mild measles from it, and he is still out of sorts. Prob is that it takes ages to get appointment, might have to exaggerate the truth somewhat! Thanks!

Mam good idea to go to gp and great news he had a suck - milk soon hopefully

Also check for oral thrush? Or any other type of mouth infection like hand foot and mouth, they both put DS off feeding at that sort of age.

Good luck.

My 16 month DS is teething, he's had quite a few teeth come through very quickly. His latch is terrible, maybe he's trying to renegotiate the nipple with his new teeth... but my nipples are suffering, they're red raw!

So I would second the teething suggestion, try some calpol and bongela if you feel this is the reason? Hopefully it will pass and you'll be up and running soon!

I also struggle with expressing, always have... I don't think it's necessarily a reflection on your supply. Keep it up though as the stimulation will help to tell your body you've not given up.

Yeah, he's getting some molars. Had another little mouthful tonight.
The expressing is just not happening tho, just hope that if he does return to bf, that I have something for him. I'm pumping anyway, just to stimulate, and the little monkey is actually trying to pump for me- the irony!!

Slowly getting better. All clear at GP, so must be the teeth. His latch is terrible, so gently working on it, but he's back for boobie cuddles and demanding skin to skin again. He must be missing the closeness, as am I, but I do feel we are getting somewhere. I think I was getting so stressed about it, and you lovely ladies helped me settle down. I will update again in a few days, hopefully with a milky story!!!

Mampig so pleased things are improving

Looking forward to reading your update - hopefully milk intake will be increasing.

If you are finding you can't pump you could google the mamet hand expression technique which is fab.

Thank u!! Tried it there, fabulous- wondering how I didn't know about it before!!!

Little update.... all going well!!! Feeding again, supply has dipped but he is increasing it himself! Can't tell u how happy I am!!! Thanks everyone for the support!!!

Mampig that is wonderful news

So very pleased for you and hopefully you will now be happily feeding for many months to come!

xx

Ps there is another lady suffering from a nursing strike currently on this board. If you have time maybe you could post and encourage her by telling her your story?

This is her thread:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/breast_and_bottle_feeding/1588426-12m-old-dd-has-stopped-breastfeeding

Thanks Asmy!! Just posted there- there is always hope!!!