Mumsnet Talk

Quick history - the latch when bfing DS1 when pregnant with DS2 was agony throughout then it set my teeth on edge to feed them both together. Three months down the line though and it all works well! Just so's you know.

So, natural termers - DS1 is 3.6, DS1 is 3 months. Any guesses as to when DS1 might give up? I've been able to distract him a bit lately to give me a break but just wondering if he'll ever just stop himself and if so when roughly?

He's got quite good lately about telling me to put DS2 on and waiting if it's not convenient to let them feed together so he really does understand that DS2 is priority. There is plenty for both though so it's not an issue. Just wondering.

no idea but ds is 2 1/2 - much younger i know but id love to know the same...

I'm thinking it's probably going to be a gradual trail off.

I might open a book on it. Place your bets!

4y2m
(and a bump, since i killed your thread )

i have only one child who i thought was stopping at 4.5, but the recent arrival of cm's baby has triggered a resurgence of interest.

while we are on subject, where is policywonk? she is my contemporary in this.

I've been thinking about milestones, will he stop when he starts Reception etc. I knew there was no chance with having DS2 recently. Pol is around now and then, hopefully she'll see this.

DS1 was a bit challenging recently and I even fed him in public a couple of times. Kept thinking about that woman who was charged in the US with encouraging a lewd act or somesuch for allowing her over 1 year old to feed. Ridiculous that these things should even cross my mind but they do.

ds starts reception in january, have you seen those threads about stopping in case others at school find out? i think that is a bit harsh although we're down to morning and evenings only and i am going to try to persuade him to stop mornings as it makes me grumpy.

Yes I have seen some along those lines. I'm lucky he's always called bfing having a 'drink' so it's not so obvious what he means.

I've gone through periods of grumpiness with it but all ok at the moment.

Wow, I didn't know you are tandem feeding Lenin. My bf journey reached a sad and premature end so I am .

Have been avoiding bf threads recently, but wanted to congratulate you on your success as I'm sure you get many negative comments and 'looks' for still feeding DS1

<<jealous>>

Really sorry about that suwoo.

I talk about tandem feeding on here a bit but again worry about how people will react on thread if they find out or work out how old DS1 is. They would expect him to be under two I think. Terrible really that I worry about this.

Hello <waves to Len and fishie>

DS2 still going but now only once a day, at bedtime, and can happily miss a day if I'm not around for some reason. I think the milk is long gone (although he did say recently, rather hopefully, 'Perhaps one day it will come back?')

He's 4 3/4 now. I'd really like him to stop by his fifth b'day. I suspect, given the choice, he'd carry on until he loses his ability to latch, and I'm not brave enough to be the woman still feeding the seven-year-old.

Franny's son self-weaned at 4 IIRC.

Bloody well done for keeping up the tandem feeding Len - must feel like a real achievement.

It's interesting that you (one) can tandem feed with these ages pol, but I can't honestly say I ever thought I'd be doing this. DS1 just seems to get so much out of it that it'd be mean and pointless now to say that's your lot. And of course I hope it's having a positive effect wrt him bonding with his brother, I think so, we'll see.

4 and 4.5, eh, hmmn, we'll see. 4 or before would be good but I guess I'll carry on if we go beyond that. No chance of running dry which won't help!

BTW, DS1 went back to an almost entirely liquid diet, incredible.

My son weaned at 4yr (just a few days after his birthday). It wasn't a gradual tail-off. He just 'decided'. He had decided a few days before he didn't need pull-ups at night. He was tandem feeding with his sister at the time.
I honestly wouldn't worry about stil feeding at school. If he's feeding morning and night it will just be second nature to him. He'll no more go around broadcasting it than talk about brushing his teeth in the morning. If you are worried you could just check your not calling it 'boobies' but something more neutral like 'milk'!

Thanks Tambajam, ironically he didn't feed at all after school yesterday or when he went to sleep!

Yes, maybe he will just make the decision to stop, we'll see. Nice to hear of others with similar DCs, I feel like we're so different (and we're different enough for other reasons) but I'm not stopping him just because society or others think I should.

I think older nurslings do decide suddenly more than you'd expect. The younger ones (under 2.5s) seem more likely to tail off gradually.
Apologies for all the painful typos in my earlier post.

Glad to hear older nurselings tend to stop fast, as my 3.2 year old DD shows no signs of weaning and laughs when I suggest the possibility. I am starting to think my 14 month old DS will wean before her !!!

So relieved to see others going strong.

Just a week before he suddenly weaned he'd said, "I'm going to keep going until I'm a grown-up, mummy. Until I am as big as you." With the older ones it is often a conscious decision that they then enforce. This is also what happened with Dr Jack Newman's son. One day he announced 'tomorrow' would be his last day. And it was! (He was over 3 but I can't remember exactly how old.)

That's interesting, wonder what their thought process is.

It's an interesting discussion. I found that when tandem feeding while my younger one was feeding v frequently and it was in ds's face a lot (IYSWIM) then there wasn't much chance of him stopping. I let him up his feeding from once a day during pg (which I had actively cut him down to as I couldn't cope with more) to around 4 times a day at one point, but then once dd was well into weaning I encouraged him to cut back down again (age gap 2.3 yrs, so I guess this was when he was just over 3). Once he was at nursery school, maintaining just the first thing in the morning feed was easier, and he didn't feed every day. He actually stopped by agreement when he was 3.10 and I was just pregnant for the 3rd time. I exchanged him stopping feeding for a toy he really wanted. It was no problem at all, especially as by that stage he was feeding once a day maybe twice a week, but then dd was walking and talking by then too.

I guess we're not exactly natural term, as at various points I definitely took the lead, but perhaps still interesting as we tandem fed and went on longer than most.

It'll be interesting to see what dd and then the new baby do .