Mumsnet Discussions - How do I stop breastfeeding my 16 month old?

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How do I stop breastfeeding my 16 month old?

(31 Posts)

By Fri 03-Jul-09 11:07:44 Add message | Report | Contact poster

Hi all,
I've been breastfeeding my 16 month old mainly in the evenings before bed (this is how he usually falls asleep) since he was born, and now this is the only feed I regularly do, apart from a morning feed most days (~75% of the time). I could drop the morning feed fairly easily I think, but I'm really stalling about dropping the evening feed for several reasons:
- I enjoy it
- he enjoys it
- it's part of the routine we've always had
- I can't imagine how on earth I'll get him to sleep without breastfeeding
- finishing breastfeeding completely will feel like the end of an era, and while I know saying this will probably elicit a lot of 'get over it, he's not a baby' and 'this sounds like you're breastfeeding more for your sake than his' kind of comments, which I think do hold a nugget of truth, but I would also pre-emptively say that it takes two to tango, and breastfeeding is a relationship, not a one way street so I'm happy that there's something in it for me also.
- I'm attracted by theories of attachment which suggest that extended breastfeeding is a good idea
- WHO suggest breastfeeding until 2 years, so if I stop will I be depriving him?
- if swine flu really takes off this winter, perhaps it would be helpful to ds's immune system to still be breastfeeding (not sure of the science behind this statement!)

My reasons for wanting to stop are:
- people think I'm a bit weird for still breastfeeding
- I'd quite like to go out and have a decent binge drink! shock

- I think sometimes a break, having a night off, just being away is sooo appealing, and this is impossible while I'm still breastfeeding.

Is anyone else in a similar pickle?
Has anyone worked through this before, and if so, how did it go?

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Wed 08-Jul-09 08:29:52

same here jennylee, but I have a very good weaning book that says milk is still very important and will make up about half of his calorie intake btween 12 months and 2 years

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Tue 07-Jul-09 22:02:55

lol Kalo, thats what I say, but wish my 11 month old would not feed like a newborn and not eat, I keep hearing aren't they meant to be on 3 milk feeds a day? I say not if they don't eat or drink anthing else, or she would starve. It gets a bit overwhelming though.

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Tue 07-Jul-09 21:49:45

same boat my 16 month ds is total bf monster 10 times a day/night

when people comment i tell them 'thats what your supposed to do' and then add 'oh for gods sake,' to make them feel ashamed wink

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Tue 07-Jul-09 21:40:41

Well, tonight I was out at bedtime, and guess what!? He went to sleep no problems after having a bottle (he has done this before, but with more of a struggle and when I've been home). So, I was all decided to keep on going, and now I'm thinking, maybe I should just quit now, if he's found it so easy!!

It was weird as I left this morning when he was asleep, and came back when he was asleep - the first day I've not spoken to him all day. It's really weird. sad

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Sun 05-Jul-09 17:28:41

I stopped when dd was 18m - wanted to continue for the same reasons you do but it became clear I wouldn't conceive unless I stopped.

I handed bath/bed time over to DH who gave DD milk in a cup. The first night the novelty got us through it but after that it was hard.

I found this article by Jay Gordon as mentioned below helpful - really it's about sleep but I used it to break the feed-to-sleep thing

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Sun 05-Jul-09 17:25:47

Just to add a few months ago it got more difficult to always feed to sleep. Dispite being obviously tired she will stay awake, so we have started putting her down awake, which means dh can do it too grin

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Sun 05-Jul-09 17:09:18

My dd is 20 months and I have been uming and ahing about stopping bf for ages. Never invisaged when I started that stopping would be a problem. I have decided to go for 24 months then think about stopping, I'm happy about this, I had been finding bfing a pain but it is the easiest way to get dd off for a nap and calm her when she gets stressed, generally have an easy life.. but what swung it for me was a friends lo getting sick and I felt that really they are still quite vunerable at this age and if I can help protect her then that is something I want to do. I feel much less stressed now I can stop worrying about how to stop.

Family have now stopped asking me when I am going to stop (think they got sick of being told of WHO recommendations) but are still making 'not nice when they get too big' comments hmm

I really don't understand why anyone is bothered about older children bfing? Why do they care? V. strange.

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Sun 05-Jul-09 16:40:16

The WHO recommends 'two years and beyond', so a minimum of two years breastfeeding not a maximum limit.

Before you potentially stop something which both you and you son enjoys, just a couple of things to bear in mind.

There will always be people who will judge you for various aspects of your parenting choices, if it is not breastfeeding it will be something else. Think carefully before you give other people permission to affect how you choose to parent your child.

Drinking and breastfeeding are not mutally exclusive. Mumsnet has had many discussions on this subject, sensible drinking is fine to continue breastfeeding as normal. If you want to binge drink, nothing to stop you leaving expressed milk for your baby in your absence. (or even nothing as your child could have solids or water while you are away)

Many mothers find that their older babies can be happily settled by dad or grandparents without milk, when the mother is not around. At 16 month old, the chances are your son will be fine without you if you decided to have a night or even two off without him.

BTW you start to care less about opinions of others the longer you nurse. I am tandem nursing an 11 month and an 2.11 year old. grin

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Sun 05-Jul-09 16:28:58

coveredinsnot, I am stopping because of the comments, sometimes it gets to me. It is quite difficult if we go to the in laws for a weekend, or they are here, I feel as if I have to hide what I am doing. I shouldnt care, but it does get to me. Sometimes I think I should stop and then they can shut up.

Also, my lo never took to the breast despite months of trying, so I express all his milk. Yes, I know, crazy, people tell me that too. I have found it to be quite a positive experience, I do feel sad about not having him feed from the breast, and to be honest, if I knew then what I know now, I could have persevered a bit more, and been successful at it. Despite everything I am so proud to have given him breast milk for such a long time. I would quite happily continue, it is not a pain for me at all, but as I said the comments are getting to me.

xx

Add message | Report | Contact poster By Sun 05-Jul-09 16:21:34

I've found swine flu really helpful when people ask why I want to keep giving ds some of my milk. I gravely tell them that he needs my antibodies and the protection of an adult immune system, especially if it mutates as they say it might this winter coming, and they can't think of any effective response to that one (like, but you aren't immune to it either) so leave it.

Harness their ignorance in a good cause. grin

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How do I stop breastfeeding my 16 month old?