Dummy or no dummy?

[Leogaela]

Does your ds/dd use a dummy? Have you found it has created problems with feeding? Have they become dependant on the dummy and now you can't get them off it? How did you deal with a sucky baby if you didn't give them a dummy? Why did you or did you not give them a dummy?

Question is being asked because I was dead against dummies but having a sucky baby I was recommended to try my ds with one. It seems that sucky babies are quite common and I am wondering how people deal with a sucky baby if they are not given a dummy?

[Frizbe]

dd was a sucky baby, but prefered her thumb, still does (17mths now!) I tried the dummy a few times, but she just kept batting it out, and popping thumb back in!

[Leogaela]

How old was she when she first found her thumb and started sucking on it?

[flamesparrow]

I had a baby who refused to sleep... most newborns sleep x amount of hours day and night... B slept for 6.. in little broken up stints.

I was exhausted and so was she. So, my ambivalent feelings towards dummies turned to a desperate need for her to take one in the hopes that it would comfort her so that I didn't have to carry her for the entire time she was overtired.

My friend held one in her mouth for an evening in a desperate attempt to get her to take it, and it worked. I had peace and regained some sanity (before that she had wanted to suck my little finger at all times).

We had no problems with feeding, and her speech is fine.

How do you get it off them? DD only had it for sleepy times and poorly times. If they are awake enough to play, then they don't need dummy. I plan to let her have it for bed for quite a while... you wouldn't take a child's blankie, so I don't see why bedtime dummies should go.

Yes, they do look nasty, but they comfort children who enjoy sucking, and I wanted to do anything to make my child happy.

Dunno if that helped at all!!!

[franke]

I was dead against dummies (because I'm a snob) but both mine have had them. Sometimes they want to suck for comfort rather than for food, so I figured it was cruel to withold it. I must say it made life so much easier on me and my nipples, but they soon do become dependent on them.

I think you have to be clear about what you are using them for. With dd it was easy to whip out a dummy at the first sign of trouble but in the end we rationed it to sleep time and if she was particularly upset (for instance if she fell over or something). DS (11mo) only has his for sleeping and isn't that bothered about it really.

We prepared her months in advance for the dummy fairy coming to visit; in the end the dummy fairy left such a spectacular present in exchange for a couple of manky old dummies that dd bearly noticed they had gone!

[muminlondon]

We never used a dummy. DD sucked her middle two fingers between 3-9 months, stopped after a bout of teething, and began again at 13 months when she started walking (fell over a lot!). She hasn't sucked her fingers for a couple of months though (now 2.1).

[secretregular]

both mine have dummies, one is 3 and has it only when he sleeps the other is 8 months and has it whenever he feels like it. I have no problems with them whatsoever but I did have before I had children. Funny how you can change your opinion when you are suffering from chronic sleep deprivation. Its caused me no problems with feeding, both boys are fantastic feeders, I guess ds1 is dependent on it but he likes to hold it in his hand when he sleeps so its obviously a comfort. Can't see how that is a problem, its the same as a teddy bear really. Caused no problems with speech either, ds1 very articulate and chatty, ds2 babbling away happily. It isn't personally a problem for me but I can see how it would be if the child had it all day every day. If you limit it to sleep times or when tired/upset it should be fine.

[boobie]

All of mine have had dummies, 4 month old DD is very sucky- she sucks everything she can, dummy, her fingers , anyones hand or shoulder (any exposed flesh gets sucked) toys, clothes etc. She spits out her dummy in night when she gets fed up though. With older ones I waited until they continually kept throwing it away about 8 months then didn't replace and went cold turkey for short period. But I have to tell people not to put it in her mouth for no reason, drives me barmy when people just stick it in when she's content.

[popsycal]

fs2 has one.......doesnt like it much but sucking it fir a few minutes in cot after night feed csn help to settle him..

[Flossam]

I use them occaisionally. I gave DS one when he was a very fussy new born - it helped calm him down enough to feed properly. Now he only normally has it when he is having problems drifting off to sleep. Normally he finds his thumb and that is fine. Only problem with that is the expensive and painful orthodontal treatment I needed after ten years of thumb sucking may be repeated on DS! I would just see how you get on with one. I hated the sight of it when I first put it in DS's mouth, didn't expect to feel like that. DS may well hate it anyway!

[Hellsy]

I use them when I need them, but am very careful not to just shove it in for an easy life! I too was totally against them, but babies do need to suck for comfort. Once I got to understand my ds I realised that he used to become over stimulated by situations easily and would lose it... I would try and latch him on , but he'd mess about as it wasn't food that he wanted. Thanks to The Baby Whisperer book I realised that if I swaddled him and forced a dummy in, it helped him switch off to the world and calm down - he would always spit it out once he was calm, or I would take it out so as not to create a habit. He's 5 and a half months now and is not interested in them anymore. In terms of how they look, you can get ones by Mam that are clear all around the mouth, with just a button of colour infront of their lips so it doesn't look so bad! Oh, it didn't disturb his feeding either, he still latched on to me no probs

[JillMLD]

Hiya
well I am terrible, although I hate the things, I totally use it for an easy life, I have 2 under two and would crack up otherwise! With ds when he was 8 months old he keptwaking for it at night (like 7 times a night) so we went cold urkey and used controlled crying. He hasn't had one since. Planningn to do same with dd.
Jill

[lilsmum]

oh lord..this is gonna start such a do/dont fight lol

personally i did give dd a dummy (she is now 14 mth) still has it now but only for naps and bed, my target is to get rid by the time she is 2, it never caused any probs with feeding, and if i had another baby i would give a dummy again

i must say on other "debates" on this subject i was mortified by how many people find them disgusting when they see one in a babies mouth,it made me a bit paranoid when out and about with dd, like that people that see her with one are thinking how disgusting! lol

[Tissy]

dd(3) has just given up her night-time only dummy, without even prompting! A few nights ago she forgot to ask for it at bedtime and fell asleep quite happily, and since then there has been not a whimper. I've hidden them all, so she can't be reminded, and we don't mention the D word, and so far, so good

[beatie]

Add me to the list of dummy-haters pre-baby who now loves them

DD wouldn't take one as a newborn (doesn't everyone try?!) but for some reason, I tried againa round 4 months. My dd wasn't sleeping through the night and all of my baby-friends' babies were. DD took the dummy like a charm and it meant I was able to offer the dummy in the middle of the night instead of my breast.

Although everyone says a 4 month old baby no longer needs a middle of the night feed you always think YOUR baby is the exception. Her accepting the dummy instead, reasurred me that DD was only using me for middle of the night comfort. It was a slippery slope though and she soon had it night and day.

We're two years down the line and she only has the dummy for sleeps and we're hoping to wean her off that within the next 6 months.

[Leogaela]

Well ds is 2 months now and uses the dummy to go to sleep, its great if he is overtired. I don't know how we would ever get him to go to sleep without it. he is quite stubborn and knows when he wants it and when he doesn't and he either spits it out when he sleeps or we gently take it out. he only cries if it falls out when he is trying to go off to sleep not once he is asleep.
I am definitely a convert! It has kept me sane and I have a baby that sleeps pretty well at night.
I live in switzerland and what is interesting is that no one here seems to have the same negative snob thing about dummies as people do in the UK.

[busyalexsmummy]

hmm, intresting reading! i have to say before ds was born i was completely anti dummy, i hated them, i thought having a large piece of plastic in your babies mouth looked horrible and i didnt like the fact i saw lots of people put the dummies in their own mouths to "clean them" after they had been spat out onto the floor etc! when ds was born he was a very demanding baby and we did try using a dummy after a week, he had it occasionally till he was about 2 1/2 weeks old then point blank refused to take it,he found his fingers at about 8 weeks and sucked on them instead! I feel lucky he didnt want it himself as ive watched friends trying to wean their 3 yr olds off dummies, but to be honest, i sometimes wish he would take one when hes over tired!!

[Rarrie]

I had a very sucky baby, and almost gave up bfeeding, but the dummy was our saviour! Thankfully, she used the dummy for comfort and boob for food. She's still bfeeding now at 17 months - which is amazing when you think I used to dread the next feed! All thanks to the dummy - so I don't regret it one little bit!

However, I would say read the Baby whisperer as she has some great advice. She recommends that once the baby is asleep, you should remove the dummy from the baby's mouth. I've always done that and my Baby never has a dummy except when she's falling to sleep. Most people don't know she uses one! If my DD tries to put it in during the day, I say to her - are you going to sleep then? And she pulls it out and hands it over! So she's certainly not dependent on it!

I feel that you need to think carefully about how you want to use it - and stick to it. Your child will only get dependent if you allow it, iykwim?!

[Newbarnsleygirl]

TBH I thought it was the norm to give babies a dummy and I bought them before dd was born to take to the hospital with me.

I'm glad I did get them as she settled almost instantly with one when she was upset or unsettled.

She is now 18 months and I decided that since she isn't talking yet having a dummy in her mouth isn't helping so last Friday I hid all of the dummies and put her to bed without one. She started to say na na na na (which means she wants something) and was pointing to where the dummy usually is. I just said no it's dirty and that was that.

She hasn't had it since so for us it was very easy however I know some people who haven't found it as simple.

[pixiefish]

dd never liked dummies. tried her a few times but she just spat it out. Doesn't like her finger either.

[jessicasmummy]

i bought dummmies before going into hospital too.... dh was dead against them and said dd was not to have one - he soon changed his tune and sings their praises now!
Jess has had one from almost day one, and it is a comforter for her - she has it for naps, night times and at the moment she is teething so she is chewing on it rather than sucking it.
it can be a nightmare at night if they wake looking for it, but so much quicker to settle down than without one! jess always spits hers out when she's asleep so we leave it like that, not going to pop it back in unless she needs it!