It's all gone wrong!!!

[evansmummy]

My ds (14 weeks) has gone all strange. He was feeding every three hours and waking once in the night for a feed. He'd even slept through once or twice, now his feeding and sleeping patterns have become really random! It's really frustrating when it seemed he was really on track and things were going so well. Thing is he's not even feeding particularly well. If I try to feed him every three hours he'll only feed for a couple of minutes, 2 or 3, and really doesn't seem interested! He cries during and after every feed (except the 3/4am one), and stuffs his hands in his mouth afterwards. Plus he's now waking several times in the night, not always to feed, I just put the dummy back in, but maybe he's genuinely hungry? I wonder if he needs to drop a feed, but how exactly do we go about that?? So what do you think? I really don't know what to do! He's bf btw

[bobbybob]

There are lots of threads about 14 week old babies going funny. How does he communicate that he is hungry during the day?

[evansmummy]

Sorry, I didn't realise there were other threads like this, there are so many I always find it hard to find the one I need! And no, he doesn't really seem hungry ever! Except at night!!

[bobbybob]

Hey no need to apologise, I just wanted you to feel less alone.

[moondog]

Bump-maybe tiktok,mears or pupuce can help?
Is he your first ds? They do go through different feeding patterns. I'm sure the first thing to ask is if he is putting on weight and producing wet nappies?

[BadgerBadger]

evansmummy, I had a difficult time feeding DD1, what you describe is exactly how things were for us. I can only say what I'd have changed if I had that time again......

I would
~get rid of the dummy

~not hassle her for feeds (I'm sure I irritated her into refusing by offering too often)

~spend lots of time skin to skin, if possible in a quiet place, bathe together especially

~lie down with her to feed (by now I was feeling tense about feeding which I'm sure she felt quite easily when held in my arms to feed)

~never clockwatch. I have learnt through DD2 that when things are getting a bit turbulant, it only made me more worried

~if she was flustered on one side, swap sides as it may be due to a preference for the other side rather than a wish to finish feeding

~Relax and sing to her whilst feeding to keep us both relaxed!

As I said, these are just things I wish I'd have tried. I really hope things improve for you and your LO xx

[LIZS]

You shouldn't really need to drop feeds consciously until they are about 6 months old (although night feeds may diminish naturally). He may have got more efficient at feeding, hence the shorter ones, or could be teething, or just he's more distractible by things around him.

[evansmummy]

He HAS been putting on weight, but I haven't been for ages so I don't know how much he weighs at the mo (naughty mummy! but i can't stand my hv grrrr). I've wondered about the dummy, but I cannto, simply cannot, imagine life without it!! It so helps him to sleep that I am sure that taking it away would be awful! Not really sure how to handle it if the problem is the dummy. I tried lying down to feed and that's not too bad, except a bit limiting. I've stopped hassling for feeds over the last few days and just try to let him take the lead, which is all new for me, so quite hard work! He does seem to prefer the beginning of the feed when the milk rushes out, and then gets bored at the end when he has to work harder, so I do swap sides quite quickly. But that makes me worried that he's not getting enough hindmilk. I hate having all these questions, am finding it really difficult.

[llkjj]

You need to have more faith in yourself, Evansmummy. You can do this.

[BadgerBadger]

you're doing really well! Don't worry for now about possibly swapping sides too soon, it's surprising how quickly the LO's can empty a breast once they get to grips with drawing milk effectively! Let him swap as you've been trying, when he gets agitated, you can always swap back again.

Feeding lying down can be restrictive, but it's a short term measure, when you are both comfortable and happy with feeding again, slowly return to other positions.

I found the changes I made between feeding DDs 1 and 2, felt like a quantum leap to acheive! Once you get used to the baby led way, it's amazing how it all comes together.