LillianGish - have to agree with her though, I hated breastfeeding a lot when feeding DS three-hourly through the night, and DH could sleep through as there was nothing he could do!

(Stuck at it though, still going at 11 months. No more night feeding though!)

a hv and i use the term loosely told me that he really should be on just solids at 18 months and it had no benefits to him anymore ( i told her to fuck off and walked out). my ds stopped bf at 2years 11 months due to mutual agreement! and the other day (he is now 3years 6 months) he ponted to my boobs and said "there is no more milkies in there is there mummy, i drank it all!" i replied no there wasnt and he said " it was my favourite though wasnt it" i replied yes and he said "can i have it again!!" i replied no to which he asked if he could have a ben 10 lunchbox to help him deal with it!!!!!!

I took dd for her 4month jabs at 1yr.

The nurse looked at her form and asked me if I was exclusively bfing. When I said 'no' (obviously - she'd been on solids as well as bfing for the past 6 months), she suggested I see a breastfeeding consultant

"Of course the problem with breast feeding is only you can do it" - from my MIL.

I love this thread.

I had, from a male colleague:

"In these days of advanced science and technologies, I can't believe that there's any excuse for women still to breastfeed"

Needless to say he was given short shrift...

one of my NCT group said that her dh felt ff was better as 'you don't know what's in breastmilk'!? I was the only one to exclusively bf. The rest were all quite negative re bf - so not indoctrinated by NCT as is usually claimed!

My Great Aunt suggested the reason my 2 month old was vomiting a lot after every feed was maybe because my milk was "too strong for her".Like it needed diluting in some way!

But as she is not a health professional, I can forgive her for this unscientific statement, unlike the HV who told me "you can't overfeed a bf baby" because "they have to work harder" to feed and it was probably reflux and I should go to the GP to get Gaviscon. Funnily enough, when I stopped offering my horse of a daughter 'seconds'after being winded, the problem disappeared. (Greedy?Yes. Lazy?No)

My 90 year old gran told me today that breastfeeding beyond six months is now known to be terribly bad for babies. I asked her who was saying that and she said everyone I pointed out that the WHO, Unicef and the DoH aren't saying that, but she was adamant that this was in fact the case. The curious thing is that I've just googled the Telegraph, which is where she usually gets her mad stories from, and they seem to be broadly pro-bfing, so I'm not sure where she's got it from.

On the plus side, it made a nice change from her telling me how she had to stop bfing my uncle when he was three months because her milk was too rich, which she's told me pretty much every week for the past year (that one just makes me sad).

3 year old nephew pointed at my nipples and asked if they were made of chocolate
Twas very cute if a little bizarre

Mad Dutch aunt-in-law on seeing me feeding 6 week old DD:

Oooh, you don't want to do that. Give her the bottle and hold her as far away as possible when your feeding her.

Spanish casualty doctor said that I was feeding my 8 mo old DS "too much" and started shouting that "the milk will turn to cheese in his stomach" (sounds even worse in Spanish). Phoned my mum in tears who said it was a load of Victorian codswollop. Cheers mum.

Irish consultant endocrinologist when DD was being investigated at 15 mos for suspected growth hormone deficiency (subsequently confirmed):

"It's your fault she's small because you're still breastfeeding her - all that milk is suppressing her appetite."

!!???

Referred us to dietician, who couldn't find anything to criticise with how DD was being fed, but asked, "How would you feel about adding some formula?"
Me: "I feel that would be a seriously retrograde step!"

Not sure, either, how adding modified moomilk would have squared with the endo's - admittedly daft - view that she was getting too much milk already...

I once (while putting DS2, then 8 months ish into the sling on my back) got asked whether I was still feeding him 'myself'. I confirmed her suspicions to be told 'no offense but you look like the type'
Not sure whether it was a dig or not...

My MIL told me to FF my ds as he has reflux so there must be something wrong with my milk......

That my son would grow up to be a homosexual mummys boys weirdo with a boob fetish who would never leave home as I was still feeding him at 15 months. I was so that I couldn't even answer that.....

I was told by the HV that DS 'obviously' needed weaning when he hadn't put on any weight for about 3 weeks when he was just over 5 months old. We started on baby rice but 3 weeks later he still hadn't put on any weight. She told me that my breast milk obviously wasn't enough anymore and I should switch to formula.

I believed her

I am delighted to be "one of those mothers"...

I was told by a long line of midwives/doctors that I would absolutely not be able to tandem feed a newborn and 2.5y old and that I should give up immediately (great advice! when I am in hospital having a baby! cool idea!) and that I should give my two year old strawberry milk shake instead
on the positive side, a male gp (locum I think, never seen his before or since) saw dd2 when she was about 18 months and had a bad vomitting bug. he asked what she was eating and I told him I was bf her on demand and he said "I bet you are really glad you carried on now, aren't you?" and that it was the best possible thing to help her recover.

It was such a lovely thing to say, and made such a change from the usual sniping and criticism about "extended" bf that it made me cry

My mum said 'I'm sorry, but it turns my stomach' the first time I bfed in front of her

On a lighter note, Dh's great auntie was most shocked that I had gone back to doing exercise while still bfing ds3 - 'your milk will curdle'

every time I have to feed dd, FIL shouts, "man the pumps, phd!"

not sure what that's all about...

i was having trouble breastfeeding my ds, crying a lot during feeds, and mil suggested that perhaps my milk was off... told me to express before and after each feed to ensure that the milk stayed fresh.

@ some of these posts.

I have been bf dd for 5 weeks now and all is going ok but my SIL is horrified by it .

She won't look at me if I am bf although the first time she didn't realise until my friend mentioned I was actually feeding DD .

She has also pointed out that I shouldn't really be feeding my dd myself because if I wear make up it will all seep into my boobs and poison dd .

DD got her revenge last week by throwing up all over her ...I would pay to see her face again as the milk hit her arm .

i was at a wedding a few weeks ago and the photographer approached and asked if he could take a photo. i said i would rather he didn't, to which he looked puzzled so i then had to go on and explain that i was in the middle of breastfeeding my son and don't think that the happy couple would appreciate a photo of my left breast!

he was mortified and avoided me for the rest of the day, probably thought i was thinking he was some kind of perve!
at least it shows i am discrete!

laughing at some of these, especially the MNers mum who suggested that she churn some expressed breastmilk and turn it into butter. Bless her

Shocking the level of creap advice from HVs. Actually, not that shocking at all thinking about the HVs I have known.

I almost longed for someone to say something to me when I was bf my daughter, I fed her all over the place in public. Nobody ever said anything, though I got some lovely approving smiles from several old dears.

My MIL didn't give 8mo dd any of the expressed milk I left when she looked after her for a few hours because, apparently, after 6 months 'it's just a drink' and water will do just as well.

Sunday, DP's partner asked if I'd ever tried ds with a bottle. I asked why the question as it foxed me a bit, he said he thought I am bf'ing as ds won't take a bottle. I managed not to look shocked and gently pointed out the benefits of bf'ing and that I don't want to use a bottle but everyone needs to come to their own decision.

Considering I can't stand him I think I did very well.

dxx

My MIL keeps asking whilst I'm feeding 'Is she doing anything?' - if the poor DTs take even a moment's pause to breathe she's convinced they've gone to sleep and should be whipped off. She's also constantly 'telling' them that they 'can't possibly be hungry' when they cry to be fed anything less than 4 hours since last feed - they are 8 weeks!

had to laugh

my MIL watching me struggle to get my baby to latch

"what is wrong with that left breast!"

and she is pro-bf!

some of the comments from professionals

In Sainsburys defence, they are as an organisation pro-bf (quakerish etc) that manager was just being a t'sser.

I was on the phone to a (childless) friend the other day when my 2yo son came up and asked very loudly for 'more mambo!'
Friend - What's mambo??
Me - It's his word for breastfeeding
Friend - Oh my lord....if he's old enough to ask for it, he's old enough to be told that it's in the fridge!
(This was the same friend who came round while he was tucking into a plate of pasta at 15 months and went 'wow - is he on solids already?!'

And of course there's my good old Health Visitor. At his 18 month check...
HV, very matter-of-factly - So obviously you're not still breastfeeding him...
Me - Actually, yes, he's having about five feeds a day and sometimes one at night
HV - Oh, so you're one of those mothers....

better for me (see how my DD has better speech than I have typing skills

WMMC that is fab go your dd

Original health visitor has now retired. New health visitor is extremely posh and clearly feels quite out of her depth in rural practice with country ways.

Anyway, took DD 2.7 and DS 11 months to be weighed (for a laugh they are both giants!) and she was surprised I was still nursing DD. She said to DD 'so don't you drink moo cow milk then'.

DD replies 'of course I drink cow milk but mummy milk is nicer and better than me. I'm not a cow I'm a wooman <human>. Are you a cow?'

my gp when he heard that i was still bf ds at 18 months said "the mommy cow said to the baby cow fuck off!"

A friend of my dh is a bit freaked out by breast feeding. When he visited the other day he was sat on the sofa, I was sat on the floor by the side of him feeding dd, and he leant over and tried to pull her head away to get a better look

My mum told be that I should stop bfing dd as I was only doing it for myself not for her benefit - she's only 8 months, and to hurry up and put her on a bottle so that she can take her out for the day.

DH and I were in a restaurant having Sunday dinner with PILs when DTs were tiny. Not wishing to whip my boobs out at the table and risk them causing a scene, I told them I was just going out to the car to feed the babies and FIL piped up, "Oh no, you're not going to feed them there are you? Someone might see! Go and do it in the toilet instead". Fortunately I did have the presence of mind to ask him whether he planned to eat his dinner in the gents' though, which shut him up nicely.

Being told at a family party, whilst b/f my 6 week old, by my SIL mother at a family party that I,
"should feed for 3 min on each breast" gave in trying to explain about for milk and hind milk. Then that I should,
"have a drink half an hour before feeding as I would feel the drink being turned to milk"

LOL what a fantastic thread some really funny comments & some absolutely unforgivable ones too. Having bf 2 babies and just waiting for 3rd baby to arrive here's my addition:

With first baby, my son, I had 2 family members say that I shouldn't really bf a baby boy or it's likely he'll turn out gay :-) (not that it'd bother me if he was, but what do these people think about!!). My dh was bf.

When my son was 4m old I suffered horrific back pain and ended up phoning nhs direct. The 'trained' nurse told me that I really shouldn't be bf by this age and it was obviously damaging my health & wouldn't I be better off giving up so I could have some proper pain killers!!

I also just read in a supernanny book (free on a mag) that people with inverted or flat nipples couldn't bf :-). As a breastfeeding peer supporter I'd have to disagree (also having rather flat nipples myself I'd have to disagree!). I've no problem with people giving up bf but to blame it on something that's just not true really annoys me!

Thanks for this entertaining thread

The washing machine repair man came to my house just as DS was finishing his feed and he said, "Ooh great, my turn now!" and

Fortunately my best mate was there and she diffused the awkward silence with, "oi you, get in line, I'm next!"

On the phone to British gas help line and ds is screaming away,

Me: "hold on a minute"

I latch DS on

Gas man ( sounds about 17 ): "Oh that's easier to talk, have you put him in another room ?"

Me : "uuummm nooo.. he's doing something else"

Gas man " What ?"

Me : "EEUUHGH ?!........ Sooooooo can I cancel the cheque then "

Me thinking , " most men pay good money for a phone converstaion like this !!"

Also another time I had dry eyes and the optician said it was down to BF, funny how I still had saliva, sweat, urine etc ???

Love this thread!

My friend said "if you dont stop breast feeding soon you will be one of those disgusting mums"

DD is 15months old....

the amount of times people have said "she doesnt need breast milk now shes eating.."

My mum told me that its important not to b/f for too long because babies need to get used to cows milk so they don't become intolerant. When I said that cows milk is used on cereal and in cooking in the first yr she shut up

From my ex-p, when DD was abt 11 months:

"You're going to have to stop soon, otherwise it'll be bitty"

Twat.

I was trying to get out of the pool when my son started crying for food so I sat down and started bf him but was unable to close the cubicle door as pram was blocking it. Next thing I knew a school bus of about 40 11 year old girls come in spotted what I was doing and attempted to crowd into my cubicle to ask what I was doing and about 50 more questions. I didn't mind at all they were v polite but the teacher was mortified trying to shoe them out and said I'm not sure you should be showing them that.

Not to me directly, but one of friends was told "It's OK to BF if you have a boy, but you couldn't BF a girl as that would just be weird, wouldn't it?".

??!!

i remember with my first i was in a cafe feeding my son with a blanket over him everything covered and this old man sat there staring for about 20 mins before telling me it was disgusting he was tring to eat.i politly told him that if it was that disgusting he wouldnt have sat there for 20 mins tring to cop a look.and if he was really interested in his food he would have been looking at it.

When approaching cafes on the phone for a local breastfeeding friendly cafe initiative I had the following comments -

"No my dear, we simply don't have the room for that sort of behaviour"

"No, I don't think so, I wouldn't let a man come in and wee in the middle of my cafe ..."

"No, let one in and then we'll be full of 'em"

FYI - 50% of cafe's approached responded in a similar way - 25% very pro, 25% warm to idea.

I was in a chi chi little cafe eating my lunch, and breast feeding my 4 month old. My husband and I were chatting when an older gentleman asked me, "are you breast feeding?", I said, yes, and was ready to launch into a defence of why I have the right to feed my baby anywhere, blah blah blah... when the chap said, "OOh that is MARVELOUS, darling - nudging his wife- she is breast feeding, isnt it wonderful!" he was so sweet, and very posh sat there in his cravat!

What is amusing is that some of the comments from toddlers are more sensible than those from so called professionals.

ooh.. just remembered another. When I was BF my DD my mother constantly told me that the reaspon dd wasn't sleeping through was that she could smell the milk on me - from 6 foot away. Little bugger wasn;t sleeping through cause she was a BABY and was 4 weeks old!

Maybe she was right, but have to say, when your suffering PND (a bit) and exhaustion (a lot), I also didn't really need to think that I smelt like sour yoghurt.

My DD has told everyone that will listen (which turns out to be quite a few people when talking about my somewhat substantial boobs), that my left boob is juice for DS and the right is milk.

She has also started feeding her own babies (dolls) juice and milk - lifting her top to do so.

Should probably point out that she is 3.

I have had dodgy comments from GPs Inc the usual there is no goodness after 6 months thing (not sure what study that came from?) but the funniest but also most ignorant from a GP was to a friend of mine who had been prescribed ABs by this GP. He advised her not to feed off the effected breast because the baby would get too much of the Antibiotics if she fed from it????? But clearly the other breast would have no antibiotics in it's milk?!?!?

When ds3 was a few months old I needed to take dd to a hospital appointment. While we were waiting ds needed feeding so I hitched up my top and got on with it. A little boy was watching and asked his grandmother what I was doing. Her reply - "she's feeding her baby like animals do"

I also overheard my mum asking my MIL once 'did you feed yours yourself?' My MIl replied that she did 'sometimes' Turns out she thought my mum was talking about feeding houseplants!

can't sleep and stumbled across this thread. am now laughing so much i think i may wake dd and dh up. thank you thank you thank you all

My cousin told me she wasn't feeding her son as 'It just isn't natural'

This is the girl who is soooo over the top[ about her son having any sort of junk food or fizzy drinks at a party and constantly worries about his kidneys (he has no history of kidney problems!).

Maybe she thinks boobs are there for men to fiddle with?

A loon of an hv told me I needed to stop as I'd turn into a 'husk', would be iron deficient, needed to think about having another (because the two are mutually exclusive), dd would be unnaturally attached to me, it had no nutrients in it anymore, I would probably make myself ill and on and on ad nauseum. I smiled and nodded.

DD was about 25lb at 6 months and exclusively bfed. DH's grandma said she needed 'steak and chips and soon' or she was at risk of starving. Hmm, 25lb, starving...

Ooh, and my grandmother once said not to cry because it would make my milk sour.

My GP once told me that there is really no benefit in breastfeeding after six months and asked if it was for my DD or for myself.

My cousin's little boy (about six at the time) once sat watching me feed DD (who was about 20 months) with great interest. Eventually he said very seriously, 'I would have thought she is a bit too old to still be drinking milk from her mummy's tummy'. Both he and his two younger siblings were breastfed for about six months, so I guess he was just speaking from his own experience of how long babies get nursed. He was very sweet though.

So aside form my miserable doctor, the most disapproval I've had was from a six year old!

Probably my DS1 saying loudly at a cafe "Mummy, is that lady giving the baby a bottle because she doesn't have boobies?"

Great thread, laughing our loud and very exasperated at some!

I breastfeed dd2 until she was 1yr and it was a very natural stop but had to stop feeding dd1 at 4 mths as I had to have an operation.

The maddest thing about it was going for an MRI scan and having filled in umpteen health questionnaires saying I had just had a baby, the ultrasonographer was in the process of injecting me with dye when he asked did I have any children, were they under 2, was I breast feeding - yes, yes and YES!. Oh he said, well now you have had this dye you can't breastfeed for 24 hrs!

I was so worried by the whole thing that I just got on with it and dd1 just got on with having her first bottle when I got back but I did write to the clinic later and explained and they said they would train their staff better.

my dd1 3yrs took great delight in telling my friend 'my mummy has big boobies' whilst she was breat feeding her baby.

When people ask her about her brother she says hes got no teeth he eats boobie stuff dont he mummy !!

Hello Aidanmania!

How old is your HV btw? She might follow the same old wives tales as my grandmother who was convinced that a stressed mother would pass on stressed milk to the baby...

Rascal I think all little boys are boob obsessed- BF or not. Must be because they don't have any themselves...

2 hours
you must have a robust milk supply

On my HV's first visit she told me that having negative thoughts would cause my milk to dry up. I hadn't mentioned feeling negative as I was doing quite well with feeding my son. She then said that as negative thoughts are in our sub-conscious they are impossible to stop.
She said this at least five times in the two hours that she stayed. I had negative thoughts about her but she didn't dry up.

My son is 4.5 months and still happily feeding. (I'm new on here by the way - hello all).

barb, NICE have guidelines on tongue tie which you can show your doctor....she will not be able to argue against them

www.nice.org.uk/IPG149

bud sadly not at your GP.

How are you fixed for bf support groups in your area? The two run by NCT counsellors were I live routinely refer babies for tongue tie division to a weekly clinic at one of the hospitals.

I am having a bit of bother with bf-ing caused I think by my wee boys tongue-tie. I spoke to my gp about this and she told me, very seriously, that tongue-tie does not cause bf-ing probs as babies do not lap the milk from the nipple like kittens (cue lapping mime) but actually suck.



Apparently you not need a tongue to suck then.



Still awaiting help for the tongue-tie but getting there (I think)

lol blueshoes - my friends DS was BF til 12mths and is now 5yrs old but still boob obsessed.

Last week he mentioned a new teacher at school. His mum asked what she was like and he replied ' she has big boobs'

"Now that she's got teeth, it's like having a vampire constantly at your chest." said just yesterday about my dd, now 7 months, by one of dh's cousins, who wouldn't take her eyes off me the whole time I was feeding dd. It's the first time she's been to visit since dd was born, and bearing in mind that dd is already 7 months old, she brought us an outfit in 3-6 month size as a present for her.

Then, as she was leaving, she paused in the doorway, and said "Yes, vampire!" and laughed. Ha ha. What a great joke.

I had dd around the time my friend had her ds, both first children.

She mentioned that boy babies can get really obsessed with the boob. I thought she was mad confusing the need of babies to suckle with the sexuality of a grown male.

The I got ds - and he IS obsessed with the boob, lol.

"doesn't she eat solid food?"

this is the stupidest thing people ask when they find out my DD's still nurse (they are now 5½ and 2½)and you'd be amazed at how many people ask it!!

I was feeding DS in front of a German friend of mine and she said, with intense curiosity, "Does it feel like lots of little tadpoles nibbling at you?" er well not unlike that now you mention it.

(ds being a crap sleeper obviously)

Great thread; i'm glad I found it today because I had a comment today (which upset me). My cousin (who I'm not close to) called to see how we're doing. We chatted a bit about da being a crap sleeper; I made a comment along the lines of "he's bf so he probably still needs to feed at 4 am". She then seemed shocked:
Her: "are you still bf him at 6 months"?!
Me: "eeerrrmmm.....yesss?"
Her: "you do know he's had whatever's good about breastmilk in the first 2 months? You do know you're only doing it for yourself now? The only thing you're doing is exhaust yourself"! (note the paradox in the last 2 sentences).
At that point I felt at a loss for words. So I just changed the subject. I just wish wish wish that I could have responded in a good way... But I never can! (& I've had many comments of this kind from relatives)...

When DS was 2 weeks old we had a little gathering at MIL's so the extended family could meet him properly. MIL kept offering me her bedroom to feed in, I thought at the time she meant she didn't want to see me feed so I decided to go into the conservatory instead. This was great fun as I could hear them all discussing me and they didn't realise. MIL was commenting to her MIL "Well, it takes a lot of patience, doesn't it. You have to be a certain kind of person." (To breastfeed)

visiting friend of dd1 stared at me feeding dd2 for a very long time (very closely) while I tried to be terribly cool.

She then turned to dd1 and said, deadpan.

Your sister is sucking on your mum's tit

My MIL insists that I drink a chicken stock cube dissolved in a glass of boiling water so that my milk is good and full of potassium

Currently I'm refusing to go to Germany to visit them as she tries to force me to drink it all the time.

Honestly, I PMSL all the way to my parents'... for days after, my mum and I started laughing when one of us said "soooo... where is it?"

Another hilarious comment from someone who'd just finished admiring the sturdy size of my DS (23 lbs, 29 inches at 9 months), when he started nuzzling my shirt and I popped him on for a snack: "Oh, you're still nursing?" "Yes, he's still pretty much exclusively breast-fed, he's not too keen on solids."
(In horrified accents) "Oh my goodness, you must start feeding him rice cereal or he'll starve!!!"
Errrmm... and a minute ago he was clearly thriving...??!?

Jacksmama!!! That's soooo funny!!

My adorable DNephew was 8 when my dd was born. He was fascinated by me breastfeeding so after clearing it with his mum I showed him what I was doing, how the milk came out etc.

The first thing he said was 'Oh its like a litter of puppies'

Then later on, totally randomly in a room full of relatives 'Oh MouseMate, How does it feel to be rearing your own child?'

my MIL told me that my breast milk was making my son vomit

(he had really bad reflux)

Going through security at the airport, on our way to my parents' (a 5 hour flight away). My diaper bag is going through the scanner. The security guard (who looks about twelve) rummages through it, appears puzzled, asks (pointing to DS), "where is his food?"

Me: "I'm nursing him."
Guard: "So what does he eat?"



Me: "Breast milk... ??!?"

(Pause.)

Guard: "Sooooo... where is it?"


Me: (very slowly and distinctly) "In... my... breasts...you freakin moron!!!"

Guard looks horrified, waves me through security...

Also, in sainsbury's, when telling DD2 that Ds needed some booby milk so we had to hurry up, she shouted out, "no mummy, it's breastmilk!!"

When discussing bf and peoples ignorance of it with a friend, I said to her that someone had once told me I had to make sure I drank lots of milk to make milk! The friend then responded with, "Ha yes! Everyone knows that milk is made from drinking water!"

lyra41 your comment reminded me of one I'm sure I read on here a few months ago.

The lady was feeding her DC on a bus when a kindly old man who clearly thought the baby was sleeping said, "Oh that looks nice. I'm going to have a bit of that myself when I get home"

twat colleague at work asked in the summer if I would be stopping feeding dd soon "because you wouldn't want to be doing that in the warmer weather would you? eeeurgh"

I think she thought my milk might go off in the sun?!

I was told that I shouldn't BF my DD as formula contained all the nutrients my DD needed as scientists had studied it for years! and when my baby got malnourished I would know that scientists knew better than me.

An old man in the Debenhams cafe walking past and hearing my ds's "yummy noises" that he always makes when feeding, "he knows what he likes doesn't he? I wouldn't mind some myself!!"

My sister asked my aunt "which boob had milk and which one was orange juice?" whilst she was feeding my DCousin. DSis was 4 at the time and hasn't been allowed to forget it since. (She's now 26)

SamJohnsMum sounds like he's been watching too much Little Britain!

I am always amused when people ask "are you still feeding him?". I know they just don't want to say the word "breast", but I always want to reply"no, he's a bit chubby so we thought he could go on slimfast for a while!"

As a charity ball a few months ago, we ran out of cream for the coffees after the meal and one bloke (actually a friend!!) leaned across with the jug and said "can you fill us up here?"!!

Stealthpb ds had colic. HV was referring to supposed build up of pesticides, heavy metals etc in fat tissue. Never knew if she was right.

I'd forgotten about the "Human food" incident, thanks for linking that I'm loving this thread.

During a three day nurse-in "she's using you as a human dummy" I love that phrase!

"Who wants to just drink tea all day everyday?" Actually I'm sure Mum lives on tea and Tink is a bigger tea belly (as she calls it) than Mum! But I always thought that milk was flavoured with what I eat so I'm sure she's getting more interesting things to "eat" than tea, like curry! Sadly read on here a few times.

"I had to stop feeding your dad when he was two weeks old. I was feeding him in a thunder storm and he got scared and never took it again"

oh dear god this thread has made me pmsl and in equal parts

no really I am just utterly boggled. and a touch that our culture is so technologised.

That was at the holding well away comment, not the bottle before I get (quite deservedly) pounced on!

"Oh, you don't want to do that! Give her the bottle and hold her well away from you while she drinks."

When I was feeding DS and he was about 9 months old his little friend of the same age toddled over and craned her neck to have a really good look!

barbarian, i don't get that
ROFL at the engineer! Did you point out that a woman feeding twins was as close to 100% efficiency as possible

My funniest one was my dad (an engineer) looking carefully at me expressing some milk with a battery pump, and then commenting, "Well, that looks pretty inefficient to me. You got two outputs and only one input". He had a point!

"Would you give him milk for a 32 year old cow?' -HV

whomoved - that "humanfood" link is the funniest thing I've read in ages.

I've been told the Ribena thing too.

I complained.

I've also been told that after six months "you don't have to do that any more you know"

I was expressing one night in front of my mother and held up the bottle to show her how it separates into 3 layers, with all the fatty stuff on the top - she said (completely seriously) - why don't you churn it to make butter.......

Greenlawn, what a vile woman, and RT that is despicable.
rofl all over again at the human food thing.

At a baby group, I remember as we watched a mother put her hungry squawking newborn to her breast. Another girl sighed and said 'That's the thing with bottle feeding. You can get the milk to them with no delay.'

Eh?????

I'm not mamag at sainsburys cafe. I b/f in there last week, I blimming hope it's not company policy.

StealthPolarBear, my son had no speech due to being deaf. He probably couldn't hear the stupid health visitor.

Anyway he is bright, happy and health at nearly seven years old. I have no doult that breastfeeding has given him a fanastic immune system.

reallytired what an idiot
would have laughed if your DS had chosen that point to say his first words "Piss off you moron"
But I'm guessing
a) You brought him up with manners and
b) life's not like the movies
sigh

'but how does the milk get in there [my breast]?' by my friends 11yo dsd

I often have small children asking me what dd2 is doing

Human food mine have pedigree chum

'just give him a bun', pmsl!

xx

Broccoli that made me laugh.

Also to the mil who had "mastifitis" - perhaps where she went wrong was trying to feed a dog rather than a baby?

I would just love to tell my mil that yes, I am still bf dd2 at the grand "old" age of 15 months. She would be and very as of course bf is v embarrassing.

A midwife on the postnatal ward when ds was born used to equate all his feeds to whatever food he might have been having had he been fully weaned. When she came to see me in the morning she'd say "Ahh, just had his cornflakes has he?" and if he went for the other boob too she say "oh now he wants a pice of toast and marmalade too, he's hungry this morning!" When she came round in the afternoon to discharge me she said "Hungry again? Well you just give him a bun and I'll be back with your paperwork in a minute..."

It was very odd.

When my son was 20 months he was not walking or talking. Infact he was refered to the community paediatrian.

I had a nasty health visitor say "I think its disgusting to breastfeed a child who is old enough to walking and talking."

I replied "Well, then its not a problem my son is neither walking or talking."

It makes me upset that a health profesional could say such a thing to a mother of a child with developmental problems. The fact it was a stupid breastfeeding comment was another issue.

At least our community paediatrian was far more pro breastfeeding. My son saw her at 23 months old and he asked for "boobie". It was noticed "had some speech" and the physio noticed he could move freely between positions while acrobatically nursing. Our community paediatrian also told me that many children round the world nursed at twice my son's age.

PMSL at 'human food' Priceless!

I've only really had one comment (so far), from a well-meaning but clearly mad stranger on the bus. she asked if he was 'on the bottle, i said no, breastfeeding; she said 'oh right, right...for now.' err, thanks total stranger!

Sophrosyne1 - yes I always imagine she had nipples arranged in rows like a bulldog ...

I don't have anything to add to this thread because I struggled to bf both of my two so didn't last long, but PMSL at some of these. Although some of the comments form so called helath professionals are unbelievable and make me

"it is against our policy to allow breastfeeding in the cafe." said by a Sainbury's staff manager.

Isn't "mastifitis" something terriers get?

I'm sure I've said this before, but my MIL refers to bf as "that dirty habit" or "that third world thing" (apparently here in the "civilised" world as she calls it there's no need for bf now we have that lovely formula stuff).

Unfortunately she was unable to bf due to suffering - I swear this is true - "mastiftits" (I think she meant mastitis).

When ds1 was born she bought me a bottle of Milton fluid - to sterilise my nipples.

She can't understand why anyone would bf when they could be ironing underpants/rearranging their socks/hoovering the carpet in their garage (yes she does all of those things).

Apparently ds3 is "spoilt" because I "spend all day cuddling him or feeding him" (he's 5 weeks old for gods sakes!).

comment this morning from 4yo DS

" when you and dad die I can look after M [DS2 aged2] if you can get me some breast milk in a bottle"

DS got his first 2 teeth at 20 weeks. the HV was quite shocked and said 'and you're still feeding him??'

my classic was a shocked little old woman who asked incredulously "how do you feed twins- you've only got two breasts" yes two babies two breasts- not sure why she couldn't do the maths

DS calls my left breast "baby breakfast" and my right breast "baby more breakfast"...

Oh I had no idea it was on here too. PMSL when I saw it on Aitch's blog. I almost felt sorry for the poor HV.

Almost

<<frantically saves thread>>

Cheers!

link to the human food comment for those who missed it Still makes me laugh even now!

Whatshesaid - my mum still says 'are you still feeding her yourself

No, we give her a tenner and a copy of the menu from the nearby chinese

Not comments as such, but my MIL being apparently unable to actually say the word "breastfeeding" so instead saying...

1. Is she still eating you?
2. Is she still enjoying mum?

lol melpomene.
"it has to be mummy who gives x (baby brother) his milk because daddy has too much fur. I will breastfeed my elephant because I have no fur" ds1 age 2
The surprise expressed that babies can have food and still bf.
I love the human food quote.

I don't think it's right breastfeeding once they can talk

From DHs aunts partner. DS didn't talk properly until nearly 2 though so fair enough!

I would have fed (DH) but my milk dried up

From MIL. Ok then!

When bf ing my very new (then) ds under a cover, my niece asked what I was doing. I said giving him his breakfast. She was very interested and asked 'What' he was having!

I'm not sure if this is quite in the spirit of the thread, but the most amusing one I've had came from dd2, when she was about 2, "That one's spaghetti" (pointing at my left breast), "and that one's sauce" (pointing at my right breast).

A woman at my mothers' group said she gave up breastfeeding her newborn after a week because the baby wanted feeding every 3hrs & she couldn't get enough sleep or do anything around the house.

Not so much a comment but when DS was tiny I was BFing him at the inlaws and FIL insisted on measuring the length of DS while he was feeding! He had the tape measure out and everything! Right next to my boob!

Very odd indeed.

I thought it was cruel to not feed your child???

my Hv at DS1's 8 montsh check

" Are you still feeding him? Well you'll be wanting to stop that soon"

Thanks waitingtobloom but there were no actual physical reasons why I couldn't have continued to BF DD, bar the fact that my milk was apparently crap because she wasn't going four hourly from birth and liked to feed all evening so was clearly starving.

Pre-Mumsnet it was, I just knew better when DS came along. Nobody saw his face for weeks, just the back of his head

My elderly neighbour once called me out into the garden to inform me over the fence that she'd heard ds1 crying a lot - we were trying to reestablish breastfeeding after he'd been in an incubator having phototherapy in hospital and they'd made me top him up with bottles.

Her advice - to give him a bottle of sugar-water!! Needless to say, I ignored her suggestions - though I never did get breastfeeding re-established, and ds did end up bottle-fed (as indeed all three have - I'm pretty much a failure at breastfeeding).

sunnygirl.

i was told by my DHs nan when DD was 2 weeks old just how 'selfish and pompous i was BF my DD' as i am 'making sure DH never forms a bond with his daughter' i said what a load of crap!! i happily reminded her that her DH was not well bonded with his DD and DS when they were bottle fed infants as she is so fond of reminding everyone (usualy to the tune of you should be grateful DD- my mil btw- i raised you almost singlehandedly yada yada yada etc)!!!!
she also tried to tell me that my 6 week old DD was getting too big for the breast and is ready to be weaned... she then said after i said she cant even sit up on her own yet but you want her to eat solid food and obviously in a few weeks i can send her out to do the weekly shop so i can put my feet up excellent plan 'well she likes the honey on her dummy so she must be ready' she didnt mind my DD for a LOOOONNNGGG time on her own after then as everyone was up in arms over this one!! cue my 'honey has botulism in it' rant and storming out into rain with DD hastily put in pram
some people are so old and naive
xx ei xx

Ninkynork - ouch that must have hurt

From my Mum:

"But you're just lucky that you can feed DS. Most women simply can't. You couldn't feed DD for example"

Ribena?? Full fat coke at least lol. Or perhaps a glass of wine?

Absolutely love the idea of different drinks coming out of them!!

Ex MIL "Eeeeh you're not big enough up top to feed a hungry girl like that, she needs a bottle wi' a bit o'rusk"

If breast size is an indicator of BF success then will she please explain why she did not BF her two, despite having tits down to her knees an ample bosom?

I can remember asking the HV when DS was fairly small how I could start introducing a bottle as 'I don't want him walking up to me and asking for breastmilk or anything, ho ho ho'.

Fast forward to now, when he is 18 months old. He will toddle over to me, pull down my top and say "BOOB" in a very loud voice whenever he is hungry....

Never did get that bottle thing sorted.

Ribena?! He/she should be struck off!

Oh and I had some very odd questions about donating breastmilk including an odious:

"Do they note who you are on your milk so they make sure they don't give it to the wrong type of baby"

I assume this meant a baby who had a different coloured skin to me

Ribena

I'd say orange squash instead tbh

sorry, that should be my 6 month old baby had a viral infection

I have a long list of things as I have bf 4 children, but the most bizzarre was when adviced by a GP that my baby 6 month-old infection and the most important thing I could do was to stop bf and give ribena instead!

When telling a woman from work my DD was quite a "sicky baby" she said she was probably fed up with my breast milk.

I just smiled and and bit my tongue.

A male coleague once said that breast feeding is very strange and just dosn't seem natural.

What an iddeot!!

Lovely lady in her 80s in M&S cafe. Her friends seemed to be "muttering" about me so I was on guard. She then came over and made very supportive comments, said she had bf all of hers, made a point of doing it in restaurants and anywhere really. She had apparently raised her voice once or twice when given dirty looks/rude comments.

She told me that she had made one chap quite by telling him loudly to stop looking and did he want some.

She passed a few more supportive remarks about how fab it was for the baby etc then wandered off.

My DD3 needed a bladder/kidney investigation at ?6 months I think it was. She needed to be held still under the scanner and the technician suggested I give her a bottle to settle her. I said with a smile she didn't have bottles - the woman then said in a really surprised voice "what does she have then?"

My boobs I said, and I don't think I can get it to stretch that far (under the scanner!)

i had a lovely comment from an 82 year old man in town who asked if dd(6 wk) was sleeping - i said no feeding and he was lovely about it, and continued talking about it for 10 mins.

no odd ones tho' (no-one would dare!)

DSD asked me if my nipple was a straw yesterday. She's only 4. She also asks me if I've filled up again when DD asks for a feed.

"But how to do your boobs know whether to make milk for babies or milk for toddlers. Do you have one side for each?"

Actually that's a fair question really, but it did make me laugh. I replied that yes, it was like the petrol station and lefty gave diesel and the right one unleaded

Ooh my personal favourite: 'will she still get teeth if she breastfeeds?'

Errrm no, all breastfed babies have to go get dentures when they quit!

'Can you get other drinks from there?' - from a four year old though.

Yours is a lot more bizarre than mine though, wtb!

Not really what she said, but I got a very disgusted look off a nurse practitioner when explaining that DD was still bfing a lot while ill - at 1 year and 5 days old

My mother has also started saying, 'She's getting a bit long there, isn't she?' when DD's lying on my lap feeding. I think she's trying to say she's getting a bit big for it.

Ha ha - I swear DD gets excited when I eat something nice as she knows she will get a taste through my milk later lol.

Personally am blaming her for the cake addiction.

Mmmm cake.

My DS2 is eyeing up all our food! He's been doing it for a couple of week now. In the morning DH makes me some toast while I feed DS2, ans the bub comes off the latch to turn his head and watche me put the toast in my mouth! He's not 17 weeks yet!

Lol Romancandle- my FIL made a similar comment when I said how often DS fed. Something along the lines of "well wouldnt anyone want to if they could". He was embarrassed at that one!

Phdlife - Claire Verity belived that one too didnt she. DD would also have been on solids somewhere around 4 weeks. Knew she was eyeing up my cake.

oh yes, plenty in books!
As well as the usual thing of implying that you bf if you must until 12 mo and then no mention of it from then on - there's no need to mention it because bfing after 12 months is ridiculous, isn't it??

lol
Don't think I've had any odd comments, went into a service station with a friend who looked all nervous as if we were going to get spotted by the boob police But that's it really

I read in Penelope Leach that if a baby is over 12lbs and feeding more than 5 times a day (iirc) it needs some solids as it is hungry. Which would've meant putting ds on solids at, erm, 2 weeks.

the good thing was, it was the last thing I ever read in a baby book

At a family party.BBQ, my uncle (by marriage to my aunt) came in to the house, where I was trying to inconspicuously feed, and sat there watching me feed DS1. He said he was fascinated because his (deceased)first wife didn't feed their children and none of his daughters BF their children.
Not really what he said so much, but that I was being so intently watched by a 65yr old man!

Lol- thought you were having a go at me there! I am not sure why...we were talking about giving DS rehydration stuff in a bottle as he had D+V and I said he didnt have a bottle (he was 8 months ish at the time). GP looked at me shocked as he was over 8 months and told me "it takes all sorts I suppose" - hmmmm and then asked me if "I knew I could milk myself" - hmmmm again and then I could always put it on my cornflakes if he didnt drink it and save money.

Needless to say I specfically request not to see him now...

Sorry, I mean why did he suggest that, not what is the point of this thread!

why??

From friends/family/health professionals/ random people?

Mine has to be the doctor who suggested I should express and put it on my cornflakes. I didnt - I dont like cornflakes.

Any odd or amusing (at least in hindsight!) ones out there?