i need a break <wail>

[MerlinsBeard]

DS3 is 8 weeks and feeds every 1.5 - 2 hours day and night. Shattered isn't the word fo rit. Luckily he feeds quickly and apart from a few minor problems every so often (wrong latch, fast let down) and a bout of mastitis i am really pleased with myself

BUT

I needa break I am so tired i feel like he is attached to me constantly (he needs to be held a lot as well) and i am snapping at the other DSs for tiny tiny things.

How can i express so that it won't affect my supply in a bad way and so that DP can feed DS3 while i have a loooong soak in the bath/jog round the block/read more than half a page of a book....?
Is it just a case of feed him one side and express the other? will my body compesate by making more? I have 2 botched attempts at bf under my belt and really want this to work, if my supply will be affected i will have to grin and bear it

[2Happy]

Hiya Mom, really pleased you've done so well, but can appreciate the knackeredness! does he normally have both sides in one feed, in which case feed one/express the other would be fine. Early morning might be a good time as your let-down hormones are very responsive over night/early am, so it should stimulate your supply. If you just take a small amount off to begin with and increase each time, also should stimulate your supply. HTH x

[MerlinsBeard]

he is a one sided feeder, seems quite satisfied by that and is growing nicely. don't ask me what he weighs though as i haven;t a clue i know he is putting n weight though

early mornings are no good really, after rushing to get DS1 and 2 dressed, make sure DS3 is at least half fed and then get ds1 to school and settle back with ds2 and 3 i am bloody knackered!

I have some ebm in the freezer from the 2 occasions he has missed a feed but not much i didn't want to 'break' my milk production!

[malloo]

You are amazing to have stuck at it with feeds that regular, give yourself a big pat on the back!! but you can't keep doing that. does he fall asleep while he's feeding? my ds used to feed all the time and it took me a while to work out that problem was that he was tired and he was using the feed to send himself off to sleep. of course, that meant he was only taking a tiny bit so he was waking up again after not having enough sleep because he was hungry, and round and round again...!! so he was getting enough to eat but we were both knackered. the only thing that sorted us out was (whispers) Gina Ford (are we allowed to say that on Mumsnet?) which gives you a plan that ensures they eat enough so that they sleep enough so that you can stay sane! Usually I found expressing in the morning worked best as I had more milk, in the evening I had virtually nothing so it was pointless. At the risk of being attacked, would it be the end of the world for your DH to give one bottle of formula last thing at night so you and DS could both get some sleep? Even just for a couple of nights until you feel more rested? I know you really want BFing to work but it can't if you're totally exhausted! Also, if you're exhausted, your milk supply will be low and your ds will have to feed more often to get the same amount. So to break out of this I think you really need to look after yourself! Your milk supply will increase and things will start looking up! Good luck.

[ChairmumMiaow]

First off, yes that must be stressful and you must be shattered, so well done!

Have you tried co-sleeping? I know it can seem really scary at first but if you can get the hang of sleeping and feeding at once (it takes a while but we cracked it at around 8 weeks) you'll find it alot more restful than getting up to feed, even though you might wake up slightly more often to latch him on. I found I didn't really wake up properly, just a few seconds of awareness to latch back on. If you want to try I can give more details about how we do it.

Also, and something else that isn't easy, have you tried feeding in a sling? Again if you're interested I'll gather up some more details - a friend of mine could feed while going for a walk :-)

I would suggest expressing at the same time as feeding - in the morning works best for me, and DS sucking on the other side works wonders for the milk flow! It is a bit of a juggling act but we manage - you just need to make sure you can easily put down the pump if DS needs rearranging.

I know you're not supposed to do that, but I have to say that the odd EBM bottle in the evening (expressed in the morning) to cover one feed so I can get a few more hours kip has not damaged my milk supply. I'd feed at around 8, get off to bed then DH gives DS a bottle when he asks, and normally brings him back up at around midnight for another feed - at one point that 4 hours of uninterrupted sleep was wonderful. I would then get more milk out when I expressed the following morning.

Hope you feel better soon!

[MerlinsBeard]

i just wrote a huge reply but MN servers went down

He does fall asleep often yes but its more often than not the milky drunk sleep rather than being fast asleep. I introduced a dummy a few weeks ago and if i give him that when he starts rooting/crying i can tell sometimes whether he is hungry or just 'sucky'.

The sling idea....i had a ring sling but i couldn't get to grips with it so i am borrowing a friends closer to nature one. will se ehow i get on woth that. I can't feed in the baby bjorn i have tried!

We do co sleep. I never start the night that way. i would rather have a few hours of better quality sleep but it always ends up that way in the middle of the night. I find that he doesn't latch as well in the night though. Last night was a snacky night and i have a sore nipple now. I wonder if i would be better being awake for a few mins every couple of hours and getting that latch on properly...??

I am not adverse to giving formula, if i have to i will but i would really rather not. DS2 decided the formaul was nicer than my milk

GF didn't work for me, i need more flexibility than her routines gives me. I havce other children who need to in different places at different times on different days of the week.

[MerlinsBeard]

also meant to say thank you for suggestions

[malloo]

can appreciate that the GF routines would be difficult with more than one dc! agree that a bottle of ebm last thing would be worth a try if you really don't want to use formula. can't see any reason why it would affect your supply, the best thing to boost your supply is you getting some rest! hopefully you'll find things sort themselves out as he gets towards the 3 month mark, thats when I really found BFing became much easier. in the meantime, hang in there, it will be worth it !

[MerlinsBeard]

thank you

had a much calmer night last night. I switched off the heating and he wasn't so snuffly which meant he fed better and woke less often...well still every 2 hours but he has been known to stay awake snuffling!!