BF velcro babies and nursery

[Clydesdaleclopper]

I am due to go back to work at the beginning of July when Baby Clopper is 10 months old . I'm going back part time and I'm stressing about how he will cope. I've just been talking to the owner of the nursery who commented on how difficult it is to settle BF babies. I didn't dare tell her that he is Mr Velcro. He only naps on me during the day and we co-sleep at night. He will take a bottle of EBM but is dependent on boobie for sleep. Any advice would be really appreciated.

[Martha200]

Ooooo... please don't stress too much!
Many moons ago I used to work in a nursery and the BF babies, well to be honest ALL the babies adapted to their new surroundings, to the point they had a good routine they would follow and be ok with, but parents try the same at home and it didn't always work, same goes the other way too!

If the staff are caring in the unit they and your baby will manage fine, even if it initially means one of them may be holding your baby to have a nap!

What tone/manner did this piece of news come in the form as from the owner? In their experience it might be true but if it came over as a criticism I'd be hmming, or was it friendly, trying to be honest and up front?

[Clydesdaleclopper]

She asked me if I would consider weaning him before he started nursery. I wasn't too sure if it was just honest advice or a case of "he'll be too much trouble".

[Martha200]

Sorry for being a bit dumb here, by weaning is that on to solids or weaning off breastfeeding when going to sleep?

[kiskideesameanoldmother]

The Manager does NOT sound very supportive at all. I agree totally with what Martha has said. No, you do not have to wean your baby before he goes to nursery. To me it sounds like the manager wants you to wean him onto formula for their convenience. In fact, keeping up with the breastfeeding is one of the better things you can do. Dd has been at nursery full time from 5 months and has picked up lots of cold and flu bugs but has never had diarroeha, vomiting or an ear, or chest infection. I have only taken 2 days off work for her being poorly and she will be 3 on Saturday. I do think it is partly because she is breastfed when we are together and co-slept and breastfed at night till last month. Not because she has the constitution of an ox. I have seen parents bring in antibiotics for their non-bf babies and toddlers and know that they have had to keep them off (for days sometimes) for being poorly.

Your baby will adapt. July is still a long way away and he will change loads by then. Dd, when we were together always bf every 2 hrs (nearly round the clock) and did not wean onto solids till she was nearly a year. I expressed at work till she gave up the milk feeds at nursery at 18 months old. Dd even at nearly 3 still settles down for a nap with a little milky cuddle and last night was ther first night (honest) that she did not ask for milk before she went to sleep.

At the nursery where she is, I have seen the nursery nurses carry around a (non-bf) clingy 13 month old for 2 weeks because he was so upset. It was seeing this dedication that let me know that they did whatever it took to help my dd settle.

[MrsBadger]

am at the owner

I went back when dd was 7m [sob sob] - she was a complete boobaholic, fed to sleep every nigth and every nap, was only just getting the hang of sleeping in a cot at all.

It took a long settling in period (10 days, starting with 30min with me there all the time) and working up - on more than one occasion they had to come and fetch me from the carpark and I felt like the worst mother in the world.
She wouldn;t eat there, she wouldn;t take a bottle there and I nearly went round the bend, btu then suddenly, the last day before I had to go to work for real, it clicked.

The thing that made it bearable was that the nursery girls loved dd and were willing to carry her around all day if she wanted.
They were unfailingly positive throughout and made all sorts of useful suggestions based on their own observations of dd - eg they saw she liked being rocked to sleep and found she didn't like being put down in a cot, so got hold of a bouncy chair for her to nap in etc.
She now wolfs three bottles a day, naps well (if erratically) and is happy to play on her own...

Talk to the carers who'll actually be looking after ds - if they're as downbeat as the owner seems to be I'd think about lookign for an alternative nursery...

[TheOldestCat]

Like Mrs B, mum to another boobaholic here!

Echoing what the others have said - when DD started nursery at 6 months she wouldn't nap without boob. Initially she refused to take any EBM from a bottle or cup (another story!) but we got there. She soon settled into a routine at nursery because the girls there were incredibly caring and would cuddle her for naps or put her in the bouncy chair for sleeps. Even when she wasn't taking much mil during the day, she was obviously very happy there - and she more than made up for it by feeding when I got her home!

So please don't worry - Baby Clopper will adjust. As long as you're happy with the care, things will be fine. I'd also be a little concerned about the owner's comments on weaning etc. But you'll probably find the carers will be used to velcro babies and he'll get lots of snuggles.

[cmotdibbler]

DS went to nursery when 4.5 months and totally bf. The girls were happy to feed him on demand with EBM, do whatever he liked to let him nap (as it turned out, he wanted a muslin to sleep with there), and just generally go with his flow. They also were happy to carry babies around who liked that, and even had a sling for walks.
Totally worked out for us, and still bfed at 22 months.

A nursery that won't adapt to your babies needs isn't the right place.

[ChairmumMiaow]

DS (12 weeks) eats every 2-3 hours during the day when I'm home. I've recently started working a few hours a week (my own business, can't abandon the husband!) and DS initially took a bottle fine while I was out however.

Last week though, I was away from him for about 4 hours and he didn't even ask for milk! Came back to me quite happy and waited till we got home to ask for his feed! I was amazed but I guess its because he was being entertained (his auntie looks after him and loves it) and partly because there was no milk-machine to smell! I think they do things differently when they're away from Mummy - and its not a bad thing!

[midnightexpress]

I'm mum to a bf 15mo (he only bfs to sleep now, and he's only in nursery a couple of mornings, so won't be napping there). He's just had his first settling hour at nursery (this morning). He wailed throughout {sad].

But, I think that the fact that he's bf means that we have a lovely way of reconnecting when he gets home, so, although I'm hoping to wean him completely quite soon, I'm very happy to continue for now because I think it'll actually help him to settle at nursery.

That's the plan anyway!

[chipmonkey]

All my 3 boys were bf while at nursery and had no problems settling in to nursery. Your nursery manager doesn't sound very supportive of bf, tbh.

[blueshoes]

Clydesdale, how dare a nursery manager suggest weaning! It is not her place and she sounds like she has an issue with bf-ed babies.

I settled both my exclusively bf-ed babies in nursery at around the same age. Bf-ing was a complete non-issue with the nursery, I don't even remember if they asked beyond what I wanted them to give dcs during the day for milk. By 1 year old, Baby Clopper will be on cow's milk anyway and already at this stage eating lots of solids and drinking water/juice. This whole formula/EBM thing is not a big thing.

My dcs are crap at sleeping (don't think it has anything to do with bf-ing). The carers would cuddle ds in their arms for hours to keep him asleep because he would wake up to cry if they tried to put him down. After a few months, he grew out of it. I am totally bowled over by them and how matter-of-fact they were about meeting my ds' (admittedly high) needs.

On a broader note, I would ask the nursery (maanger and carers) how they would cope with a baby that does not fit into their routines re: eating, naps etc. Babyrooms should have flexibility built into their routines. If they are unhappy to accommodate your baby's needs (bf or not), I would look elsewhere.

[Tommy]

DS3 goes to nursery once a week and is a bit of a boob lover (he is 14m). What I do is take him in, give a quick feed, hand him over and run

Anything that happens between then and when I pick him up is their problem (this is why I pay them) if they can't settle him to sleep then they nede to find a way to do it. Having said that, he's always had a nap there so they must be doing somehthing right

[Clydesdaleclopper]

Thanks for all of your advice. I'm going to try and find another nursery that is a bit more supportive but all of the ones that were recommended to me are full. I would be delighted to find somehwere that would cuddle him to sleep like MrsBadger has but there don't seem to be many of those around here

He has started on solids - the BLW is going pretty well - but I definately don't want to wean him from boob. I'd love to continue bfing as long as possible because he obvioulsy gets so much comfort from it. DH calls it the "magic boob" as it can make tears disappear in an instant

[MrsBadger]

I bet there is one - the 17yo girls who actually look after the babies are always nicer than the professional businessy managers who worry about the money, and are generally there because they like cuddling babies...

go and look round some and see