Extended breastfeeding - need some help

[luvaduck]

Ds is almost 8 mo and we are still going strong and loving it, with no intention on giving up for at least a year.

However he will not take a bottle at all, and only takes about 80ml max from a sippy cup. It does mean that I can never be away from him for more than a few hours. This is going to be a problem in July - when he will be 10 and half months as

a) I'm going on a hen weekend for a whole weekend.
b) I'm going back to work 2 days a week - at least 12/13 hour days- but luckily can prob get back at lunchtime to do a breastfeed.
c) occasionally i would like a bit of time on my own at the weekend.

At the moment if I'm away from him he just doesn't drink. He'll have some solids and as i said about 80ml liquid. and then feed all night. not an option with a or b above.

Any tips?
Do they start to take a decent amount from a cup and if so, at what age? ie in your experience at 10 months do you think he would be ok for a whole weekend just with cup feeds. I just can't see how he is ever going to take the volume he needs.

I also find that he will only settle with me in the middle of the night when he's upset (i don't always have to breastfeed him, and he's not breastfed to sleep) so am thinking this hen might be a no-go but I'm a bridesmaid....

For those of you that have breastfed to 10 months or longer have you ever managed a weekend away with out your dc and what happened?

TIA!

[Clure]

Sympathise luvaduck. Bf mine till 18mths tho also did formula too so not a problem. Didn't have night away from DD till she was 2 and a half!
My friend had very similar prob with her DD. She felt anxious but went back to work and DD begun to take more from a cup (also wouldn't take bottle) it was a slow process but needs must and DD took enough to sustain her.

Give the hen weekend a go and try not to worry, chances are your DS will be ok! Good luck

[luvaduck]

thanks!
but 2 and a half OMG...
think i'm going to hate going anyway but knowing that he won't feed it'll be much worse...

[cmotdibbler]

2 and a half months is a long time in his lifetime though, so things will have changed a lot by then.

You could make drinking from a cup more exciting by using a straw - we introduced one about 8 months, and DS would always slurp down anything with a straw as it was exciting.

I'm feeding DS at 22 months, and have left him for up to a week -for work- and he's been fine. But he was used to me being at work, and we worked up from one night. He can get narked at it being DH there, but they sort it out between them.

[gagarin]

luvaduck - remember to pack your breast pump - ouch!

[mawbroon]

I am still feeding ds who is 2.5 and I haven't had a night away either. I have either turned invitations down, or engineered it so that ds could come too so we didn't miss any feeding.

I understand that not everybody is able to do this, or indeed wants to do this, but for me it was what worked best.

And it's no help to you whatsoever for your situation luvaduck

[luvaduck]

good point gagarin!
and thanks cmot good idea about the straw

doesn't help that saw someone recently who said "you are STILL b/feeding?" (hes only 7 and half months FFS), and "you've got to leave him to settle with other people (ie cry) as it'll only get worse"....

and she going to be there so will think i am bonkers going off to pump

[luvaduck]

mawbroon - know how you feel - bF def helps w attachment IMO - and you feel like you don't want to leave him, even though he may well be fine...

[Pannacotta]

I fed DS1 till he was 2, after a year I could leave him overnight but not before.
DS2 is 11 months now and I wouldnt be able to leave him overnight, he feeds every 3/4 hours day and night!
Not sure what to suggest, I think a whole weekend might be a struggle for you both, is there anyway your DH/DP and DS could stay at the same place as you for the weekend? Or could you stay one night only or even go for the day and get back for the night, could that work?
(I never enjoyed any hen weekend I went on so for me it'd be a good excuse, but I know its hard if you're a bridesmaid.)

[CantSleepWontSleep]

lol at Mawbroon's helpful reply .

I'm feeding dd who is 2.2, and haven't yet done a weekend without her, but did have my first 24 hour stretch away a few weeks ago, which was fine (she does normally still feed several times a day).

I did have my first evening away from her at 9 months, and she went to bed for dh no problem and slept through (not a regular occurrence at that point). Even now she won't go to bed without me if I'm there, but is fine if I'm not.

I expect you'll find that he will be fine with your return to work, esp with a lunchtime feed, and will gradually start to take more from a cup, but a hen weekend might be pushing it IMO. Is it possible to go for just one day of the weekend, rather than the whole thing?

[luvaduck]

I know am organising the whole thing...
but yes i prob could get dh to stay nearby

and i'll just have to deal with others thinking i'm mad and that hes old enough to be left...

when did your ds start taking larger amounts from cup - if at all?

[luvaduck]

this is all really helpful thanks

i naively hoped it would all be ok - and that he would suddenly start taking 150ml of EBM from a cup but its just not going to happen is it

have to go on whole weekend but may be able to get dh/ds to stay nearby , he can stay wiht my parents who are 45 mins away...

can'tsleep thats funny about not settling if she knows you're around isn't it, shes really clever!

went out for a few hours the other night and ds woke up and screamed the place down until i came back (even when being rocked etc by dh) and then when i came back settled immediately and gave dh a big grin while he was in my arms as if to say - hah i've got what i want now. he didn't even need a feed.

[Pannacotta]

Try not to worry what the others think, its truly none of their business. I never left either of mine at this age and wouldnt have wanted to, they are only small babies at this age, plenty of time for independence later...
I always tell myself in similar situations that the more women who breastfeed openly for as long as they want, the more socially accepted it'll become.

[EffiePerine]

I think you'll find things will change a lot by then. I went back to work at 6 months and expressed as DS was still feeding a lot during the day - by 10 months I could stop expressing during hte day and he was fine, just had water and juice when I was at work. I left him for an overnight stay at about 9 months and again he was fine, though I did find I needed to express last thing at night and again in the morning (in the comfort of my own room).

DS was crap at taking a bottle, but we managed to work things out, as will you I'm sure

[luvaduck]

effie thats great to hear thanks

did he take the milk from a cup then morning and night or did he take a bottle eventually???

pannacotta some wise words indeed. i'm one of the first of my friends to have a baby (at 31!) so hopefully will be a positive role model (depsite GF following friend who thinsk i'm mad...)

[EffiePerine]

We had to try a range of different teats, but he accepted a bottle more or less. We found he drank less and less as he went on, and ended up with all fluids from a cup. I think every baby is different in that respect .

[luvaduck]

thanks for that - 'tis encouraging!

[luvaduck]

thanks for that - 'tis encouraging!

[numptysmummy]

Dd is nearly 2 and has never taken a bottle either. It is only in the last few mnths that she has started using a beaker but prefers a cup. I started leaving her for a day at around a yr and she got on fine - if i'm not there she simply doesn't ask. Ds was the same - never took a bottle but was great with a cup. They both used straws early on - before a yr old.If you aren't there and he's reluctant to drink could who ever make his food a bit sloppier? Could you find someone to have him for a few hrs and see how he gets on as a practice?

[madmumNika]

I BF DS until be was 10.5 months and returned to work full-time when he was 6.5 months old. He never took a bottle (refused) but survived the 8 or so hours we were apart each day but sitting from a cup (water or expressed milk- offered frequently), eating solids regularly- 3 meals plus a mid morning and mid afternoon snack which was all fruit so lots of liquid... And when I had to wean him (for various reasons) he managed to take all the milk he needed from a cup (hard spouted tommee tippee type). I was sure he wasn't getting the recommended 500mls each day but he was fine (he's just about to turn 3 now). I guess what I'm saying is that I'm sure he will be fine if you're not there with just taking little drinks frequently from a cup. If you're going away for a whole weekend definitely express regularly.

I'm BFing my DD at the mo (9.5 months old) but she does take a bottle also which helps a bit... Like you I need to leave her for a whole weekend (in a month....arghhhhhh) and worried already about it but sure it'll be fine...!!

Good luck! xx

[madmumNika]

Apologies for typos really should use the preview option!!

[luvaduck]

thanks madmum and good luck!

will you post on this thread after your weekend away - will be interested to know how you got on

by the way did your ds feed all night to make up for it???

[madmumNika]

yes i'm afraid he did, which was one of the reasons I weaned him off at 10.5 months as I was just too knackered. They are clever like that!! I also had to go away for a conference for 3 days and knew I'd have very little opportunity to express so decided we had to stop... This time round I'm fortunate to only have to work 2 days a week, split as 1 full day and 2 mornings, which is far more accommodating with breastfeeding I find!

Will post after my weekend away next month if I'm still breastfeeding... part of me thinks it'd be easier to wean her off before then but another part of me doesn't feel I should...or particularly need to. I just really hate expressing (DS was prem so expressed lots in the early days and now hate it!!!)

Good luck xx