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Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Infant feeding

Do I ff or stick with bf.. feeling very down. Any breast Cs around?

14 replies

DepressedMummy · 11/04/2008 07:26

I am feeding my own baby after going through the hell of sore nipples etc, only to find now past eating habits rearing up

Compulsive eating/bulimia I was diagnosed with many years ago and at the time I took some action to deal with this. At the moment I feel under a lot of stress and have started to see someone about it, though am battling a bit with food issues again.. I feel terrible because I think of what I might be doing to the baby, i.e feeding baby cr@p a % of the time and I can't tell you how dreadful I feel, to the point maybe ff would be better than my BM. DS is appearing to grow ok, but I am not sure what is best in this situation?

OP posts:

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popsycal · 11/04/2008 07:34

I am not a counsellor but did breast feed ds2 for 3 years and have a sister with eating issues so have some experience.

No matter how you feed your baby, the first few months of motherhood is hard work. I don't think your diet will have as big effect on your baby as you are thinking.

No matter what your diet is like, your breast milk is better for your baby. It has all sorts of 'goodies' in it the help your baby's immune system and it is tailored to what your baby needs. I am not slagging off FF (I ff ds1 for the most part) but just giving you the facts.

Get some lansinoh cream for you nipples. It is expensive but it will sort them out within days. Try to rest whenever you can.

You don't say how old your baby is - but it is sooooo overwhelming at first, even without the personal difficulties that you describe.

Whatever you choose to do, don't beat yourself up about it.

Do you have a counsellor that you can talk through your eating issues with?

Keep talking on here.....

Good luck

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popsycal · 11/04/2008 07:35

Sorry - re read your post - you are seeing somoene about your issues

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popsycal · 11/04/2008 07:35

Sorry - re read your post - you are seeing somoene about your issues

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mandymac · 11/04/2008 07:37

Hi there. I am not a councillor, but have read a lot about breastfeeding on here, and I am pretty sure that whatever you are eating your milk will be giving your DS what he needs. I don't want to get into the BF vs FF thing, but having persevered through the really tough part, it would be such a shame to give up now. I have seen posts to the effect that even if the mother is seriously undernourised, your body prioritises the bm and gets the nutrients there for the baby.
As a new mum I certainly wasn't eating the healthiest food - lots of cake and chocolate, sandwiches and ready meals, and my dd gained weight really fast and has been ill very few times some of which I am sure is down to bf.
I am sure someone with more info will be along. You seem to be doing everything you can to cope with the food issues too, which is great!

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popsycal · 11/04/2008 07:43

Breastfeeding Help Lines
National Childbirth Trust 0870 444 8708
La Leche League 0845 120 2918
Breastfeeding Network 0844 412 4664
Association for Breastfeeding Mothers 08444 122 949

Please ring one of those numbers. I used la leche league from time to time. You will get support and accurate advice.

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mellyonion · 11/04/2008 07:45

hi. you sound sad.

i would say that my personal feeling straight away with this is to continue bf, and try and get a grip on your eating asap.

i have suffered with plenty of eating disorders in the past and am wondering why you have started again now? if its the weight thing, remember that bf uses up calories, a very easy way to shed some pounds in the first few weeks/months.

if its a control thing for you, then maybe you need to look ahead a little way....how old is your baby? if its only little, then try and go with it. its bloody hard work bf a new baby, and it takes a huge commitment, but it does get easier as the baby settles into a more regular feeding pattern.

if its a coping mechanism, then try and find another way of coping when the shit hits the fan...go out for a walk with the buggy, have five minutes out with a magazine....phone a friend for a chat, do some hoovering (well, you never know!lol)

it is very difficult to return to bf once you've stopped...make sure you are sure of your decision. when i felt overwhelmed and wanted to stop, i'd always give myself til after the next feed...usually then, i had calmed an felt ok to carry on.. you could even introduce one ff a day for someone else to give your baby and to give you a break....

bm is always the ideal for a baby, but sometimes, a happy mum is more important....don't stress. you sound like you're giving yourself a really hard time.

have you spoken to your hv about how you feel? maybe you should give her a ring.

take care x

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StealthPolarBear · 11/04/2008 08:06

kellymom on how a mother's diet affects her milk

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popsycal · 11/04/2008 08:11

Cheers stealth - I have been frantically searching kellymom for simialr advice but couldnt for the life of me find it!

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popsycal · 11/04/2008 08:12

Just to quickly quote from stealth's link

'You do not need to maintain a perfect diet in order to provide quality milk for your baby. In fact, research tells us that the quality of a mother?s diet has little influence on her milk. Nature is very forgiving ? mother?s milk is designed to provide for and protect baby even in times of hardship and famine. A poor diet is more likely to affect the mother than her breastfed baby. '

Kellymom is the bible for all things breastfeeding btw

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AgathaRose · 13/04/2008 20:08

Really sorry you are feeling so low.

One of the big challenges with a new baby can be the feeling of loss of control over your life: Suddenly someone else is controlling when you sleep, when you eat, even when you go to the loo. And what's more, this is something that many of us are unprepared for, bc until it happens to us it is hard to imagine that a sweet, tiny little creature could have such power.

Since having babies I have found myself bingeing/ compulsive eating during those precious, rare moments when the kids are asleep and i have time to myself. -In my case it is definately a way of grabbing back a bit of control.

I've been trying to work out how to stop it, and i'm sure the answer lies in somehow taking a more flexible approach to life: old habits will have to change, but that's ok.

As for BF. The best advice i ever got was from my wonderful GP: it's NOT the absolute end of the world if you don't BF. Yes it's good, but there are 18 more years ahead to get right or screw up so don't kill yourself over this one thing. -She made me feel so much more relaxed about it that i got through the HELLISH pain of the first weeks and carried on for many more happy months. SO much more useful than all the finger-waggers insisting that BFing was the be all and end all.

Sorry for rambling. Good luck.

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DepressedMummy · 15/04/2008 08:36

Thanks for your replies, it's good to read the link given, but now I feel just as rubbish, because I read the thread about someone thinking of giving a bottle of formula whilst they are away which gave links to the bf baby and the gut.. I've been giving a formula feed once a day or every other day for weeks now (about the third week this was introduced)now wondering if there is any benefit to the BM I am giving ds find this sooo hard

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mistlethrush · 15/04/2008 08:58

I'm not an expert - but wanted you to get a reply. There is, I am positive, benefit to you bf now for your ds, and don't worry about the ff that you are giving. You will still be passing on fantastic antibodies etc on to him, and giving him a really good start.

However, don't beat yourself up about the whole bf thing. If you can continue, do, it gets easier. If this is the last straw for you, you've still already given him a great start and done really well.

I hope that you get some useful help on eating issues soon. Best of luck

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calsworld · 15/04/2008 09:34

I found BF really really hard but I was determined to do it because I believed it was right for me and more importantly, for DS. I have eczema, asthma, all year round hayfever and an ever increasing number of food allergies. I got through the difficult days by focussing on what I wanted to get out of the bf. And after the first couple of weeks, it wasn't difficult anymore - and now I really miss it and can't wait to do it again!

Be reassured that your diet doesn't affect your baby at all, so you just need to work out if you want to carry on with BF? If you do, but it seems hard, then maybe it would help to identify the why you originally chose do it - maybe its because of the benefits for your baby, or benefits for you, or just because its cheap or convenient, or a combination of all of these things - sometimes having something to focus on when the going gets tough would help?? summary of benefits

Above all though, the best mum is a happy mum and if its making you unhappy, then there is nothing wrong with FF, for either of you. IME, FF takes a bit of practice too, just like BF, for baby and you - but once you get into the swing of things its just as easy and convenient. And whilst BF does help bonding with baby, FF is a good way for other people to bond with baby too.

I really hope you find a solution that works well for you.