My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Infant feeding

Untitled

21 replies

HereWeGoRoundTheMulberryBag · 16/03/2008 21:02

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
Report
fingerwoman · 16/03/2008 21:08

sounds like you need to work on nursing manners

Report
gloriana · 16/03/2008 21:09

I think that only you can answer this question but it would seem to me that if you are thinking about reclaiming your body then you are perfectly entitled to do it and to feel brilliant that you have given him such a fantastic start in life with 18m bf.

From your descriptions above though I do have a disturbing image of 'bitty' ...

Report
elesbells · 16/03/2008 21:09

Oh lolol @ the leg peddling.

It sounds to me like you feel you should give up rather than want to. I think you know you want to carry on really. I don't think you're making a rod for your own back.

Why give up something you both really enjoy?

I'd give it another couple of months and see how you feel then.

Report
policywonk · 16/03/2008 21:14

Aaah, I know exactly how you feel - I'm still feeding my 3yo and he is very demanding (feeding upwards of five times a day, plus night feeds ).

If you've decided that you want to carry on, then it's really just a matter of setting some ground rules with him. He'll object for a few days, but will probably accept it so long as you don't waver. If my DS starts jiggling about or chewing me, I take him off my lap and put him down, and tell him that he can't feed if he's going to wriggle/chew. If he sticks his hand down my top, I pull it out again and say 'no'.

The thing about your DS getting cross - that's probably just normal toddler (want it NOW') behaviour. If it wasn't focused on BFing, it would probably be something else. You are quite within your rights to tell him 'no', and to ignore the subsequent tantrum - he'll get the message quite quickly.

Extended BFing CAN be demanding, especially if you have a child who likes to feed a lot. However, for me the benefits have outweighed the disadvantages (so far, at least).

Report
spina · 16/03/2008 21:17

I'm sort of in same boat,so not much help.Sorry. Will watch with interest.

ds2 is pushing 15months,is begining to "help" himself and along with ball and ballon,BOOOOOOOOB is one of his fav words. plan was always til he was one.Also always thought if they can help thelselves or shout "boob" the time had come to stop.(completely personal thought,think it springs from that docu a few years ago where it was 7 and 12 years old helping themselves)

He was recently ill so up his feeds from two a day to four and i've had hell trying to reduce them back!

the main prob i've got (and I suspect you share it with me) is that I don't see why I need to bother. I'm happy with the two feeds. I can skip them if necessary(went on a hen weekend in Feb!) he wakes at 5am and he's easier to just plug in rather than have to wander to fridge(or even pour toddler milk powder into prepared water by bed---how lazy do i sound!)

I do need to stop at some point though.
sorry again i've not got any advice. Just wanted to say "me too" if that helps. prob not!!!

Report
pinkspottywellies · 16/03/2008 21:18

Just had a look at the nursing manners link. Sounds good. There's no reason that you can't insist on certain behaviours when he's bf as you would for sharing toys, table manners etc.

Can't quite figure Gloriana's image of Bitty. You did say your ds is 18 months didn't you? Not 18 years

Why don't you take it a day at a time. See if you can stop the behaviour that makes it uncomfortable for you and break some of the associations that he has and see how that goes before you make a decision.

Report
spina · 16/03/2008 21:25

just read nursing manners and regret that the codeword I chose almost 15months was "boob". whoops! even my four year old has the maturity to describe it was "breastfeeding".

Report
BabiesEverywhere · 16/03/2008 21:40

I am still nursing my 18 month old DD and I am 18 weeks pregnant. We have the drive-by-nursing sessions, especially when we are home all day. Sitting at the computer is definately a trigger point and we also have the interesting nursing positions which I will allow at home but I require a more sedate football hold position outside the house.

I taught her a hand signal for milk which she uses most of the time, I don't let her pull at my clothes. Well, if she tries I gently remove her hands and ask her 'If she want milk to ask for it ?' I usually do feed her on demand, even on a bus last week but if I want to wait until a later point, I find raisons are a suitable short term subsitute for milk.

I don't think you are making a rod for your own back, our children will self wean when it is right for them, assuming we are happy to wait that long

Report
spina · 16/03/2008 21:49

You're right. they do self wean don't they. i'm new to extended bf. i stopped feeding ds1 at nine months cos he kinda went "off it" and I didn't try to keep him interested. with ds2 he went "off it" at ten months but I wanted him to go to 12mths.

I agree with op though, i'm begining to get looks/comments(or rather I don't because I feel i can't feed in public(including at home with friends/in laws around) I wish feeding to 24months was "the norm". asking for a bit much am i not!

Report
fingerwoman · 16/03/2008 21:51

try and ignore the looks/comments. remember, you're doing the best you can for your child- the people commenting on it are ignorant and know nothing about nursing a toddler. they're merely showing how narrow-minded they are, don't let them upset you.

and remember as well, that you may well be inspiring someone else to have the confidence to nurse their toddler as well. the more people there are like you out there, the quicker it will become the "norm"

Report
spina · 16/03/2008 21:52

ps I felt ok feeding in public when he was a "baby", but I think I even "got away" with it for longer than normal cos he's little for his age. i'm ashamed i'm so bothered by others. once he was obviously heding towards toddler, i just felt it was too "difficult".

Sorry, i'm now going off the point!

Report
spina · 16/03/2008 21:54

x-posts with fingerwoman. You're right!!!

Report
KristinaM · 16/03/2008 21:57

your ds sounds just like my 27 month old! he loves to Bf while i MN - explaisn teh bad typing

why stop is you are both happy with it most of teh time? i must have think skin because i have never seen any looks / heard commenst

Report
PrettyCandles · 16/03/2008 22:04

I'm in a similar situation, but, ds2 being the second child I've 'extended' bfd, I have a slightly different perspective on it: I know that "this, too, will pass". That's the mantra of parenting, after all!

TBH I don't see why you should cut down on the feeds. If it works for you, then whatever your feeding regimen is , it's fine. When it's convenient ds gets so many feeds in a day that I lose count. OTOH, if we have a busy day, or I'm away from him, then we may only have 3 feeds. He's not bothered, neither am I.

He's begining to come out of the athletic feeding, unless I feed near a table, in which case he seems to believe that he can only feed if he's either drumming his feet on the table, or grabbing randomly at anything on the table. I find that the modesty issue when feeding can be dealt with by wearing a stretch top (eg T-shirt) and pulling the whole thing over him. Otherwise he tends to yank my top up and down.

If I don't want, for whatever reason, to feed him at any particular moment, then the best thing to do is to distract him. As another poster mentioned, nibbles such as raisins are a tolerable subsitute. Also wearing many layers - undoing all the zips becomes a distracting entertainment. Just make sure the bottom layer doesn't have a zip as well!

I don't think keeping going now will necessarily make it harder to wean later. I weaned dd off some of the middle of the day feeds (because it was right for her at the time) at about 19m, but she self-weaned the rest when she chose. The whole process was surprisingly easy, given how keen she was on bfing.

Please don't let other peoples' prejudices influence you on a very personal decision, because it really doesn't sound to me that you are ready to wean. (Though if you do decide to wean, please don't let the extended bfer's opinions upset you, either!)

Report
BabiesEverywhere · 16/03/2008 22:05

TBH I have had very few negative looks/conversations and many more positive experiences of nursing in public.

When I feed my DD at the breastfeeding support group or at the local library and even from a nice OAP on the bus last week, people seem interested and ask questions. I often am asked about how I find feeding an older baby (fine), do her teeth cause problems (they don't), when do I intend to stop (don't know), what will happen when the new baby comes (don't know, might nurse both).

I know two mothers who have decided to continue to nurse, just because they saw me and another mother nursing older babies. Both mothers said independantly, that they thought they HAD to wean at 6 months and when they thought about it they didn't want to stop. So yes, seeing older babies/toddler nurse will encourage other mothers to continue to nurse, that said I totally understand that many mothers don't want to nurse in public. I used a 'boob tent' at the beginning I was so shy and scared.

Report
KristinaM · 16/03/2008 22:19

thsi thread has made me LOL

I knwo that wasnt the intention....its just all our toddlers sounds the same, down to teh pedalling legs and drumming on teh table

mine also likes to hum while he's bf - usually twinkel twinkle littel star or postman pat

Report
HereWeGoRoundTheMulberryBag · 16/03/2008 22:21

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
Report
PrettyCandles · 16/03/2008 22:35

Mine, too, Kristina! Also twinkle twinkle, but usaully Happy Birthday. LOL

It was so gradual and gentle, that I don't actually remember when dd had her last feed. But I believe it was a week or two before her 2nd birthday. I do remember that she dropped the bedtime feed because she wanted to drink milk out of a beaker like her big brother. OTOneH I was sad because I felt she was prefering a poorer substitute, but OTOH I was pleased that she was able to make a choice and express herself about it.

Apart from being hijacked in public, I find extended bfing so much easier than feeding in the first 6-8m or so. I'm so glad I've done it - I didn't with my first child.

Report
spina · 16/03/2008 23:34

recently discovered why listening to jazz is not a good idea when bfing a toddler. didn't realise my boobs stretched that far!!!(he's a bit of a mover!)

isn't he great though when they get the giggles while feeding. bfing someone with a sense of humour is an unique experiance!!

agree extended bfing much easier than baby breast feeding.

Report
HereWeGoRoundTheMulberryBag · 17/03/2008 18:39

Message withdrawn

OP posts:
Report
charliegal · 17/03/2008 19:17

My 17 month is the same. Peddling the legs made me laugh- sounds like a cute baby, not 'bitty' indeed.

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.