Need some advice....

[finallypregnant]

please be gentle with me as it's been a tough day.

I saw my midwife today. Her first comments to me were that either I am a week ahead of my scan date or I am fat! No joke!

Next we got onto breastfeeding. I am going to give this a go but I am terrified. Without going into much detail I was abused as a child and into my teens and I have issues with my breasts - even with my husband touching them. I have been seeking help with this however, baby is coming soon. In an ideal world we will both take to it as if it is the most natural thing in the world but I have to be realistic and be prepared that I'll just not be able to handle feeding him myself or anyone else for that matter man handling my breasts in the days and weeks after.

I am also very very scared about being naked in front of strangers and this is in my notes.

It's causing much stress at the moment - nightmares and lack of sleep are causing distress.

I am prepared and have a sterliser and will be getting formula in the house too (live in the country so not too easy to get to shops) but at the same time, I don't want to give in at the first hurdle because the stuff is here.

If baby is hungry, he's hungry and needs fed - he doesn't need me having a meltdown about how to feed him in the middle of the night!

I am not sure if I have actually asked any questions in my post at all - may be I have just rambled but I am not getting any help from my local midwife so once I said all of the above said I have not to be so selfish.

[hercules1]

You know there is no law that says you have to breastfeed . If it feels okay have a go and if you find it too much then don't.

[pelafina]

Message withdrawn

[MarsLady]

Darling you need someone with experience, ie a lactation consultant who knows and understands the issue that surround breastfeeding after sexual abuse.

There is no need for you to have to be naked in front of others to breastfeed. Have you been on any antenatal/breastfeeding courses?

I'm sure that more helpful advice will come along. I'm currently distracted and knackered sorry!

[Bouncingturtle]

You poor love, you definitely need extra support. Can your ring one of the BFing organisations, such as La Leche League
or Breastfeeding Network. They will be able to advise you. Your MW sounds very unsympathetic, is there anyone else you can see for your AN appointments?
If you can afford it, can you look at getting a Doula - they might be able to give you the extra support and coaching you might need?
Good for you for considering bfing, with your history, but if you feel that you cannot cope then bottle feeding is always an option.
Good luck and congrats on your pg

[terramum]

Congratulations on your pregnancy & cudos to you for having the strength to think about bfing. Have you been in contact with any of the main bfing organisations (LLL, NCT, ABM & BfN)? They have BFCs who have experience in supporting abused women who want to bfeed.

...and you do know as well that you can request another midwife if you don't feel supported by your own? She doesn't sound very nice at all, saying you were selfish . Write to the head of midwifery at your local hospital & request you are assigned to a different midwife. Or would you consider hiring an independent mw if funds allow so you can have care from someone you trust?

I have always found this yahoo group very good for all matters of midwifery & remember there being some posts in the past from women who have suffered sexual abuse & who want support/information in pregnancy:
health.groups.yahoo.com/group/ukmidwifery/