i would like to stop bfeeding, but dd won't take a bottle, any advice much appreciated!

[frazzledfairy]

dd is nearly 10 weeks old and i am still finding bfeeding uncomfortable so have (more or less!) made the decision to stop.
however dd will no longer take a bottle!

we first tried a bottle (ebm) at about 3 weeks and she had that and a few others with no probs, but now she doesn't seem to know what to do with it, she isn't really fighting it which is good but just lies there with it in her mouth looking at me as if to say what do you want me to do with that then?!

any tips would be greatly appreciated, i'm so uncomfortable

[CarGirl]

be prepare for it to take time, I stopped at 4 months with my first because I returned to work and couldn't express enough so had to do mixed feediing. I think it took about 2 weeks, it was persistence, I used to bf a tiny bit break the seal and quick stick the bottle in.

[MrsBadger]

oh how awkward
which bit is uncomfortable? sore nips? engorged?

[Pannacotta]

Might it not be easier to try and resolve the breastfeeding rather than trying to force the issue with bottles?
There is always loads of good advice and support on here for breastfeeding probs.

[Unfitmother]

Have you been in touch with a baby feeding advisor? You may find whatever problems you are having with BFing can be resolved.

[frazzledfairy]

boobs are engorged which makes playing with/cuddling ds 1 & 2 uncomfortable, i find the let down reflex really really painful, i get shooting pains down my arms too, not nice!

also i am bloody tired last night she went to bed at 6.30, then i fed her at 10.30 for a feed, she then woke at 3.20 am then 6am. i can't catcg up on sleep during day cos have ds1 and 2.

really though it is the pain not the sleep deprivation!

i think i have decided to give up, i'm not enjoying feeding

just need tips on how to do it!

[CarGirl]

it's a shame as the let down should continue to settle down until it's virtually unnoticable. Did you bf your other 2?

[FlllightAttendant]

I wish I had advie but Ds1 wouldn't take a bottle either atr this age, actually I continued BF for so long because he wouldn't - it was only when I had managed to get him to use one (at 16 months) that I was able to stop. I had ahd mastitis 3 times since he was a year old, and wanted to stop sooner, but he wasn't having it!!

Good luck frazzled, I hope you find a way x

[FlllightAttendant]

Sorry for the typos.

[Pannacotta]

V sorry to hear that and sorry but no advice to give as both mine were/are breastfed.

My letdown was much stronger when DS2 was very small, its fine now (he is 7 months). Would also say that IME breastfeeding was much nicer from about 3 months, when it got much easier.
Your supply (and therefore let down) settles around this time and for me thats also when it became pleasurable rather than a chore.

You prob won't get any more sleep if you bottle feed...

[VictorianSqualor]

Have you tried calling any of the bf helplines?
AFAIK they can give advice on how to stop bfing as well as how to start/fix any problems.
I'd give them a try.
If you have decided to stop then I doubt very much they'd try to coax you into continuing if you don't wish to.
The numbers are on my profile if you need them.

[MidgetGem]

Hi Frazzled fairy, I know how you are feeling, our DD took bottles of EBM without a problem from when she was 2.5weeks old, then suddenly decided last week (at 13 weeks) to refuse the bottle, it was as if she didn't know what to do with the teat anymore. I always used to use the Tommee Tippee closer to nature bottles. Yesterday I bought the MAM Ultivent? bottles (she uses MAM dummies and I figured the teat might be similar) I played with the bottle with her yesterday putting the teat on her cheek and lips and making her laugh, then last night I gave her her bedtime feed but didn't completley top her up on the breast, I then put her in her cot with the night light on (she was quite sleepy and content) and gave her a bottle with 3ozs of EBM in and she took it without a problem, she watched me a little bit confused but didn't resist at all. I don't know whether it was the change of bottle or just luck/coincidence but I think the fact that she was so relaxed helped. I also think that having a completley different bottle teat might have helped, because she was adamant she was not having the tommee tippee one anymore. Good luck, hope you have some success, let me know how you get on x

[frazzledfairy]

yes i have spoken to a nct counsellor and been to a drop in session at the maternity hospital and contacted my midwife for advice, but they all said the same, that the let down reflex should ease with time (whereas actually it seems to be getting worse!), and that the engorgement is because i produce far more milk than dd needs, the only way round that is to express but long term that would just make the prob worse!

would get more sleep cos i could get dh to share the night feeds

any more advice on encouraging dd to take a bottle would be lovely

[frazzledfairy]

thanks midgetgem, have tried just normal avent teats and the tommee tippee ones

[MrsCarrot]

I agree with others, bf really does seem to settle after 3 months. Do ring the helplines though, they will be able to help you whatever your decision.

By the way, I consider my 11 month old waking once between 10 and 6 as a good night.

[CarGirl]

Other friends tried other things that worked for them - like someone other than them giving the bottle. YOu could get your dh to try and give her a dreamfeed from a bottle so she's not really thinking about it. I just wondered if she was your first one that you've bf for a considerable time because I settle down so much quicker 2nd and quicker again 3rd time around, the first time bf took ages for my supply to calm down - I always engorged easily etc. TBH from my research expressing enough to lessen the engorgement won't make you produce more and more or you could express and donate it to the milk bank! Is it def the let down and not a bad intial latch that she adjusts once the milk is flowing - my first one NEVER latched properly the whole 5 months I fed her despite her tongue tie being divided, cranial osteopathy, numerous visits to the infant feedins advisors etc.

[lottymadbird]

had exactly the same problem with my DS as i'd solely breastfed until 7 months and he'd never seen a bottle.

try...

• the flat avent teats (apparently they mimic the breast better than the round ones)

• warming the teat so it is soft when first giving it to her

• introducing the bottle when she is very hungry (that way she'll be more interested in sucking and getting some food rather than how the physical sensation is different

some people say not to have the mum give the bottle for a while otherwise they get confused with smell and location of where to suck. i managed by putting DS in a bouncy chair to give bottle to him at first (im lone parent so couldnt get anyone else to do it) and that did work but only needed to do it for first day or two.

good luck, would say try to persist with breastfeeding but obviously entirely up to you and noted you were asking for advice about bottles ! good luck.

[determination]

Have you tried using nipple shields when you are breastfeeding her - this will allow her to get used to the texture of the silicone in preperation for using the artificial teats with the bottles

I done the opposite with dd1 when we were experiencing nipple confusion and this is how i managed to get her back to breast and feeding like a trooper!

[peacelily]

Hi we had the same situation with our dd. She took the occassional bottle of ebm until 8 weeks then suddenly refused! I decided to stop breastfeeding exclusively and 3.5 months as I wasn't enjoying it and was having loads of problems. It took a month of perseverance to encourage her to accept a bottle!!

We ended up using the really cheap old fashioned long bottle with latex teats as she wouldn't entertain tommy tippee/avent.

Basically I'd feed her at 2 ish then wait for dh to come in at 5 whenh she would be really hungry (one of the probs was that she would cluster feed every hour or more all afternoon even at 4 months and still be fretful and wanting more). I'd then leave dh would try her with a bottle then I'd give her a breastfeed before bed at 8pm.

She manged to just take an ounce or so for a few weeks and tide herself over until her "main meal"!! Then oneday she took 5oz of a friend and that was it. I was able to give her bottles as well. A HV suggested this, you can go away for a night and do the cold turkey thing but this is harsh for dc and dp. This method takes perseverance but it might work for you and it meant I could still give dd her night time feed myself (bf) until she was 7 months old.

Best of luck!! xx

[MelissaM]

frazzled - sorry to hear your having probs. I agree that things do settle down from 3 mths although I still have a strong let down (not all the time thankfully) which can be quite painful. MY LO needed feeding less in the night too from 3 mths (we stopped waking her for a feed at 10 as she didn't want it, then usually only woke once for a feed).
If you definitely want to get lo to take a bottle you just have to persevere.
I managed to get my dd (6mth) to take a bottle finally as she wanted feeding just as I had finished expressing. As my boobs were empty (she did try) she took the bottle as there was no alternative. I had tried a few times previously and all she did was play with the teat. Alternatively you could try a cup to feed her with. I bought one from Tesco's for £2-£3 I think.