Let's avoid the HV poll?! [grin]

[monkeybird]

Anyone else round here avoiding the health visitor? Do they actually improve anyone's health? I stopped going to the clinic after the first one weaned since I hated the conflicting, rubbish advice (one told us to mix up our own food for a 4 month old, with added gravy to make it runny...).

I do appreciate that for some women it is reassuring to see them putting on weight every week, but surely we could get our own confidence in looking for a well baby rather than relying on so-called experts?

Obviously I don't advocate anything that would be damaging to babies and children but in all my time of being 'visited' with 3 babies, I can't say I've had anything useful from them.

Someone said in a recent post that you don't have to see them (I thought at least the first visit was a statutory requirement but maybe not).

Will my kids be put on the at risk register if I don't have them 'checked'?

[yogimum]

When ds was born I didn't particularly gel with one of the HV but the other one at my surgery I got on quite well with. Since moving I had several calls from my new HV wanting to visit my house. I again was a bit wary but I went to visit her instead and she is really nice. I had an alterior motive though. (trying to recruit mums for my baby yoga classes). I don't think its compulsory to see one if you don't want too.

[whomovedmychocolate]

Haven't been since DD was four months old (she's just over one now). She turned up when she was 8 months old and dropped off some books, got one word answers ('fine' 'yep' 'okay' etc.) and left.

It's not compulsory, but they do sometimes ring and check the child is still alive

[MrsBadger]

we get one visit at home, then if you want to see them again you have to go to the clinic

I just don't go

[Twitmonster]

I never go, except if I happen to be taking my 8 week old for his jabs tomorrow, and then it's only to weigh him.
I get on well with my h/v but can't be arsed to go up and sit in a boiling hot waiting room filled with other peoples screaming kids.

[takes a deep breath]

[MaeWest]

DS is my first baby, I have seen my HV once when DS was a few weeks old, then again at 9 month check (she did a home visit as I had never been to clinic). I did go to a bf support group fairly regularly at the surgery, which was not run by HVs. There were scales there, so I got DS weighed a few times when he was under 6 months (not every week).

My HV is not a particularly mad bad one (although there are some shockers locally - "not on baby rice at 12 weeks with such a big baby etc etc"), but I just felt that I had support and advice from friends/family and MN and didn't need extra.

[Rachel32]

No need to see a HV at all, the new birth visit isn't compulsory but HVs have to record that they've made contact eg phoned or sent a letter offering to visit (which of course can be declined without baby being put on Child Protection Register.) New Govt Guidelines have reduced the amount of contacts to be offered to parents. Routine weighing not needed if baby healthy, development checks are being phased out. HVs are in short supply (nursery nurses doing the routine stuff such as clinics in many areas now). HV have to focus on families with complex needs, parents with mental health problems, children with disabilities etc. They're likely to be delighted to hear that a parent is doing fine and doesn't need any help.

[BeautifulBoysGalore]

have avoided mine for the last 4 years... think she has finally retired or gotten the hint as a different one called up the other week (following up on a routine info call from A&E after ds2 had a head injury a couple of months ago). she sounded nice so i decided to allow her to come round to do a 2 year check or some such nonsense on ds3, since she seemed so keen.

if she spouts any rubbish tho i shall eject her and never see her again either.

im sure there are good HV's. and that there are people who can get much needed help and support from a HV. but im not one of them. im lucky enough to have perfectly healthy kids and i dont need scales and measurements and milestones and charts to tell me they are doing very well thanks. havnt had any of them weighed since the last midwife left.

[sophierosie]

I had a great HV who was really supportive and helped me feel that I was doing what was right for my baby and family - she was good at not giving the 'party line' around breastfeeding/weaning/cosleeping etc and certainly didn't judge.

I saw my HV every week in the first few months, mainly as they had a parent and baby group in the village hall at the same time as the HV clinic so it was good to be able to meet other mums, especially as I'd moved to a new area.

[CorrieDale]

I'm trying desperately to avoid mine! Unfortunately, I gestate big babies who then become small ones, and the HVs get a bit hot & bothered about it. I would just not go to clinic, but she actually comes out to the house to see me and weigh DD, and then look worriedly at the chart. I explained to her at length why I thought DD's 7-9 month check should take place at 9 months (we're doing BLW and it'll take till then for DD to start taking in sufficient solids to make a difference). But she'll still call me at 6 1/2 months for an appointment. And her parting words to me last time - when DD has finally started to follow a line! - were that I really should get her weighed before we next met, just to 'keep an eye'. Grrrrr! I don't need a scale to tell me that DD is dinky and developing perfectly normally. Rant over. For the present.

[Highlander]

corrie - you don't have to see her! Mine kept phoning after the 8 week check and I politely told her that I had no concerns about DS2's health or development and that if I did I would not hesitate to see my GP (which I have a couple of times).

As my paediatrician frined said, 'they're vaguely trained in Public Health, not in anything useful like breastfeeding, nutrition or child psychology'.

[SpikeandDru]

Nope! Mine was a bloody godsend when I had DS - in fact if she hadn't been around I'd probably have given up breastfeeding entirely. The midwife was hopeless about DS's weight loss and all she could suggest was "top up" - it was my HV who kept telling me that he was a big boy and "catching down" instead of "catching up" if he'd been tiny. She gave me so much support and confidence in myself to carry on - I breast fed for 10 months and to be honests it wouldn't have been more than 3 weeks without her. They're not all crap.

[monkeybird]

ha ha - I see (as I suspected) that I've hit a rich seam here! Not just me not returning calls then...

I think it's useful though - since there are [fact!] so many unhelpful HVs out there, to let new mums know that it's perfectly fine to ignore them.

I guess the trick when you're a newbie (or even and oldie but out of practice like me ) is to find a source of advice you trust and who shares your values. I think one of the problems is that HV's are the only people we see for a while and they're not always so helpful.

Anyhow, I'm hoping not to see mine for some considerable time! Tee hee...

[SpikeandDru]

If you've a good one though it's great.

[monkeybird]

God, SpikeandDru, she sounds brilliant. We should set up some kind of review or award for good HCPs who support BF?

[Blandmum]

I had two different ones (one for each of the kids) as we moved. they were both fantastic.

The first was just plain smashing, and supportive of a witless new mum.

the second one was v supportive and a great help when dd had persistant constipaption

[BeautifulBoysGalore]

sophierosie - my sisters are called sophie and rosie. wierd eh?

[nappyaddict]

only ever saw mine twice.

[yurt1]

I went lots with ds1, a few times with ds2, not at all with ds3 (except for the developmental checks). My HV is great though......

[jamila169]

I've always declined HV involvement since DS1 was tiny - I had a conversation with one of our local ones who entirely agreed with me when I said I thought it was better to use the resource if you needed it and leave them time to deal with families with real problems. You just make sure you read the baby's gp registration form properly and indicate that you don't wish for HV involvement, they phone to check you really mean it and then back off (unless they're terminally stupid like corriedale's)

[nappyaddict]

jamila169 - how many times have you seen your hv?

[jamila169]

About once a fortnight until DS1 was 8 months - then DS2 once, DD never, I've spoken to HV once re DS2 on the phone when we were sorting out his lactose intolerance. I've always felt that if you have any grounds for concern ,you end up with the GP anyway so why not cut out the middleman?

[nappyaddict]

i know what you mean. ds only saw the hv when the mw handed over. didn't get a choice. she just came with her one day. wish i'd known cos i'd met her when i was pregnant cos baby clinic was on while i was waiting for my appointment. we didn't gel very well and had decided from then i wouldn't see her. haven't even had the developmental checks have you? like you say if i'm concerned i see the gp.

[dal21]

I politely asked mine to leave after her first visit after she harped on about cot death (for no reason to a first time mum). When I pointed out that her approach was not the most helpful - she said that she had a list of things she needed to cover off (errm, ok - but saying cot death 10 times in first 15 mins surely is not on the list). Needless to say, havent seen her since - a paed did the 6 week check and all subsequent things are being done elsewhere.

[Droosiemaloosie]

You don't have to see a HV - no need to avoid her - just say you've decided against using the HV service and ask them to send any records they hold back to the Child Health dept.

If you have a complaint though it's worth making it to whoever the community matron/manager is for your area.

As a HV myself (albeit a very part time one) I hardly ever see any families where there is not big need - anything routine is now done by two community nursery nurses. Most of my time is entirely taken up with child protection work where SS have asked me to visit to monitor the health and development of the children. Thankfully I have a good relationship with the families I see on a regular basis.

Any HV spending her time worrying about what centile a baby is or is not on has too much time on her hands - send her my way please.

[mummydoit]

I had a lovely HV with DS1 who was very supportive when we were having trouble establishing BFing. He lost 20% of his body weight in his first week so I found it very reassuring to have regular weigh-ins once we did get going with bfing, just to make sure he was gaining steadily. I didn't bother to go with DS2, partly because I had more confidence but mostly because a different HV told me I had to stop bfing DS1 once I got pg with DS2. Utter rubbish!